[continued from here...]
Because we were worried that Ah Beng could be someone more than just a common ruffian, like a loan shark or something, we decided to lodge a police report just to be safe. So after speeding off from the last spot of altercation, we made a beeline to the nearest police station.
There were 2 police officers in the police station that we went to. One was a policewoman who looked like she just had the wildest party the night before, and another middle age bloke with a pot belly as big as an NGV tank.
[conveniently translated to English from Malay]
“I’d like to lodge a police report about a road rage incident.” – I said.
The lady was the one who seemed to be taking interest so, I presumed she was the one who would be taking my statement. So I started my story from the point of the bumper collision, to how Ah Beng went apeshit after I confronted him verbally. But before I managed to continue further, the policewoman cut me off,
Policewoman: “The accident, did it happen before the center of the bridge, or after the center of the bridge?”
Me: “It was before we even enter the bridge, right at the toll entry…”
Policewoman: “In that case, you will have to lodge your police report at the mainland. It is out of our jurisdiction if the accident happened on the mainland.”
For those who do not know what is happening here, the Penang island is linked by a 13 odd kilometers bridge from the mainland. Though both the mainland and island are in the same state, the police force is somehow divided over territories… (so I learned). In my case, things got complicated for the policewoman there when she found out that I had an accident on the mainland and got into some trouble with that nutcase on the island.
Me: “So I can’t lodge a report here?”
Policewoman: “That seems to be the case I’m afraid. Your accident happened at the mainland, then it has to be handled by the mainland police officers.”
Me: “But I’m not here to report about the accident. In fact, I don’t really give a shit about the accident. I’m here to report about a road rage incident that happened after the accident!”
Policewoman: “Yeah but your first point of dispute started from THAT ACCIDENT at the mainland, so it is considered a mainland issue.”
That definitely didn’t sound right to me. Correct me if I’m wrong – does that mean if I were to be chased on foot by a machete wielding madman from a district to another, and then into a police station in that foreign district, the law enforcement officers there won’t be obliged to help me because it’s out of their jurisdiction? And if I need help, I’d have to run back to the police station at the district where everything started, exposing myself to the danger of the machete wielding madman again, just to get some help? That’s fucking ridiculous if you ask me. I was seriously thinking of Lim Guan Eng at that moment of time…
Me: “So, if I’m in danger, you can’t help me because my problem started from somewhere else? I thought I could go to any police station and you’re still obliged to help me because it’s your job? Does that sound ridiculous to you?”
The NGV pot belly policeman intervened,
NGV tank policeman: “Please don’t misunderstand us. We were just saying that, if an incident started somewhere else, the investigation has to be conducted by the team in charge of that territory… we’re not saying that we won’t help you.”
Well, I wasn’t sure if I actually misunderstood them or did the NGV tank officer was trying to twist his facts… The policewoman seemed to soften a little and started to follow his lead of shifting their position…
Policewoman: “Yes yes, I was just implying that the case has to be followed by the mainland investigation team… not that you cannot lodge your police report here…”
Me: “That’s just your administration issue. It doesn’t really matter to me if it’s handled by YOUR investigation team, or someone else’s. I just want to lodge a report, and you can do whatever you want. It’s as simple as that.”
That was only when she stopped talking and let me describe the whole incident, though she took very little effort to concentrate. Maybe she’s not used to having to remember so much things at a single cue (her experience was probably limited to recording statements about missing pets, undergarments or slippers). I guess that explains why the policewoman asked if I would like to type the report myself, and I went ahead to do it with my less than refined BeeEm (it eventually had to be edited a few times by the officer due to my crappy command of language). That was it.
The case was then taken over by the mainland police team, who was a zillion times more professional than the couple of odd delinquents we met at the police station that day. The inspector in charge told me that he dispatched a couple of officers to pay Ah Beng a visit and had his statement taken. As expected, he denied everything he did and he even justified for his rash behavior by blaming the car before him, which he alleged was tail-gating him ‘too close’ – making him all irrational (Emily recalled that there was no car behind him when he hit my car). What a lame ass retard. I wonder what happened to the macho side of him – having the guts to be such a badass, but do not have the guts to confess. Anyway, the inspector assured me that this guy is a nobody and has a squeaky clean record, and that I shouldn’t worry anything about him – which was a relief for me. He was let off with a warning and I requested to have this incident kept in his record for his future employer’s reference. This was assured to me… and then we proceed to have a small chat, and that incident went past as just another bad episode with an asshole on the road.