May 20, 2008

pinkie

I was buying lunch the other day and I noticed that the guy who was frying my noodles, had a long fingernail grown on his pinkie. It was greenish hue in color and was filled with enough filth to make a worm a very happy invertebrate. Definitely wasn’t a very comforting sight. That prompted me to think, why do people want to grow long fingernails on their pinkies? If you’ve been observant enough, you’d notice that a lot of these people (with long fingernails on their pinkies) are usually Chinese blokes. Most of them rustic and old.

Now, why is that? Some say it is some kind of a symbol to mark the wealth and status of a person. In the old days, if one is rich and wealthy, he’d have the luxury to keep long fingernails – to let others know that he is an elite and doesn’t have to work hard. Or something like. But that’s a bit of a far fetched theory ain’t it? The guy I saw, fries noodle for a living. If he’s rich, he’d be all dressed up like a pimp somewhere else now, right? That must not be the main reason.

Then somebody told me that it is grown as a sign of seniority and wisdom. You know, the longer the fingernail on your pinkie is, the older and wiser you are? I think that is a bullshit too. I have a friend who used to grow a fucking long pinkie fingernail and he was just in his 20’s back then. It used to be his most prized attribute (for reasons unknown). His then girlfriend (now ex) once asked him to clip off the hideous fingernail, and he immediately dumped her without a second thought. He later quipped “She can ask me to stop boozing, cut my hair short or even ask me to behave like a wuss. But she would be too crazy to ask me cut my fingernail!” I think my friend’s case kinda nulled the hypothesis (side note to you control freak girls: Your boyfriend can give you a thousand romantic reasons on why he loves you, but only needs one incoherent reason to dump your fucking ass off his life)

Finally, the most popular one – as a convenient extension to clean your nose and ears. Quite… but, I don’t think this is entirely plausible either. Let’s be honest here, how many of you actually pick your nose with your pinkie? I don’t know but, not me. For me, the pinkie is not the best choice of finger to pick my nose. I usually use my index (size of finger is my least concern, because both my nostrils are expandable to the girth of my index). You see, picking a nose can be quite a complex maneuver and requires a certain level amount of dexterity. Therefore, I don’t think our pinkies are good enough to do this kind of job. I attest this with experience. There was once I tried to pick my nose with my pinkie (fortunately, trimmed), accidentally scraped one of the veins in my nostril and resulted a profuse nose bleed. I can only imagine how hazardous it would be to insert a pinkie with long fingernail into one’s nostril so, I don’t think that it is the main reason people growing long pinkie fingernails…

So, what is it? Why do people want to keep long fingernails on their pinkies? I still have no idea man. The only thing I know is, long pinkie fingernails were extremely popular amongst ancient Chinese eunuchs… (they probably used them to sexually stimulate their fake pundek, who knows…) That’s about as wretched as it can leave you to imagine the rest. Ergo, if Uncle Michael ever meet any guy with long pinkie fingernails, that guy’s definitely not gonna get to date his daughter Regine…

michaelooi  | thoughts  | 

13 Comments to “pinkie”

  1. emperormeng says:

    korek telinga la..
    can go deep deep mah.

  2. jusoh says:

    last time, i have a chinese friend (now already lost contact) that also has long fingernail on his pinkie. for an unknown reason, my other chineses friend told me not to question much on this thing since this issue is a very pantang stuff. at the end, i found out that this chinese friend went to see fortune teller and the wise guy advised him to grow fingernail on his pinkie since his pinkie is shorter than the last line on his ring finger. chinese believes (not to sure about this), having shorter pinkie than the last line on ring finger means a short life. of course i was so f**king mad about this since he can digest this without any problem but for other type of advice likes masuk telinga kiri keluar ikut lubang punggung! cant imagine what will happen if the fortune teller asked him to send his wife on their first night to the fortune teller house… most likely he will do that also!

  3. Timothy says:

    Pinkies are gross. I dont understand why some people keep em. I reli feel damn geli when seeing those. A few of the people i know do that but I just keep quiet la. Didnt say anything about it. So long as they dont get the fingernail anywhere near me, then it shud be ok kua. Lol…

    Btw, uncle michael. Those guys who are going to date your daughter Regine would probably stil be too ‘babyish’ (young) to actually be able to read the warning of yours (last sentence). Unless you were to allow your current readers to have a chance at your Regine when she grows older which would mean an age gap of 10? 20? 30? 40 years? Lol…

    Nice topic here. Maybe u shud write on it. ‘Age (gap) of potential son in law which Uncle Michael is gona let his daughter Regine marry’. Would be a great read. Haha…

  4. moot-lei says:

    long pinkie fingernail = gross

  5. michaelooi says:

    emperormeng – Go deep deep? Your ear canal must be very big then to be able to fit in a pinkie fingernail…

    jusoh – That’s an interesting superstition. If that’s true, then a philandering, chain smoking and junkie orangutan would fucking outlive even Fidel Castro! handsdown! (you should check an orangutan’s hands out)

    timothy – Dude, you’re discounting the fact that my articles/entries can also be read by someone in the future… time don’t just freeze over after I’ve written something. Go figure.

    moot-lei – No shit! I was thinking the same thing too! What a coincidence!

  6. ShaolinTiger says:

    I heard once it’s something about feng shui, to do with the length of the pinkie being extended past the knuckle of the ring finger..personally I always thought it was for digging nose.

  7. It’s definitely for picking the ear wax and nose. I’ve asked the exact same questions about the long pinky nails myself. One of my uncles confirms that pinky+long nails = for picking those orifices + saving RM2 for a metal ear cleaner.
    True story.

    And I’ve seen, in not one but three different states in Malaysia, Chinese men (20 year olds to old farts) digging their ears and nose with their pinkies too. So I can see the purpose of the long nails. Better reach, i reckon.

  8. Arkane says:

    I’ve heard of a similar theory as Jusoh, though with a slight variation. Apparently, it is said that if the height of your pinkie extends above the lower border of the topmost digit of your ring finger, then you would have a prosperous life. Since many people found that they do not quite meet this requirement, they grow nails on their pinkie to “cheat” their fate. Dunno how many people believe in this crap though.

  9. bongkersz says:

    long pinkie fingernails just plain gross. yucks!!! actually, any finger with long nail just equally gross!

  10. michaelooi says:

    ST / Arkane – I wonder what happens when one lost his ring finger. Live forever?

    expedited writer – Yeesh, now I remember the guy actually grabbed the noodles with his bare hands before he fries them.

    bongkersz – Well, if it’s Jessica Biel’s fingernails, I’ll lick them.

  11. Primrose says:

    Valid for all of the above. They also like to use the nail of their pinkie to unscrew small nuts, like the nail is as strong as the screwdriver liddat. Oh, cleaning their teeth after makan too. Real cheenapeks!

  12. emperormeng says:

    re:mike

    u can reshape the nail , to sharp sharp. then can reach inside .

  13. nail_grower says:

    I guess you are all wrong in this. The answer is simpler but a bit astonishing. A lot of babes have so-called nail fetish, a weird inclination towards long nails, just in connection with a sort of self-defence. That’s why they often point them. What happens when a girl notices long nails on male fingers? Very seldom: nothing. They take it as indifferent. But it is far not to be generalised! Other girls, a lot of them, shows an anger or displays disgust, but their hearts throb swiftly. And the best ones will be lovely and open to ask you about your long nails. Just this is my reason to grow out my nails really long: pinky nails 20-20 cm, other ones 10 cm.

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