ThankyouforcallingCompanyXhowmayIhelpyou?
I made a phone call to Company X technical support hot line a few days ago, and was greeted by this douchebag who spoke super fucking fast in English…
“ThankyouforcallingCompanyXhowmayIhelpyou?”
That was the first line which I managed to grasp, but I was completely lost for the remaining of the conversation. I had to actually ask that douche some questions back to confirm what he said, and even that, I had to hard guess what he meant by spotting the ‘yes’ and ‘no’ along the torrent of high speed verbal machine gun.
And this wasn’t the first time I’ve encountered people like this douchebag here. I’ve met many fast food restaurant operators who spoke like that.
“GoodeveningsirhowmayIhelpyou?”
“Errr, one medium set of double cheese burger and a chocolate sundae please.”
“Havingheretakeawaychillyketchuppepsiorangestrawberry?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Havingheretakeawaychillyketchuppepsiorangestrawberry?”
“Errrmmm, having here, whatever”
“sirwehavefreecondomspromotionsifyouorderextrafriesblablablabla?”
[grabs operator and toss her head first into the kitchen]
Most of the time, I find these fast-speaking people incoherent - probably because the speed of their speech supersedes the time needed for their brain to think. Or perhaps, they have a brain too small to even think at all, and hence, the need to speak super ultra fast to confuse up the listener (I can’t think of a better explanation…)
oh, recently they have some kind of contest at mcdonalds where u’re supposed to talk like that to win a free big mac. i guess that’s the strategy they use to identify potential candidates to recruit for their crew.
i think it’s because they simply memorize what they are supposed to say, hence blurting it all out like a machine gun without the need of it going through the brain.
I faced one Rempit type server fella like that in a McD once. Don’t know bout the rest of you but I’m damn pantang about being replied to in Malay if I speak in English at an INTERNATIONAL franchise! The fella gave me the speed blab in Malay, so I pretended to be a Brit. I put on this poncy Londoner accent and it drove the feller nuts! It was sheer joy to watch him squirm! Every time he answered in Manglish, I’d just say “I’m sorry, what did you say? I don’t understand your May-lay.”
Finally after paying, getting my change and grabbing my food, I whipped out my phone, called 1 of my Malay friends and gave it one “Wei beb, ko kat mana? Jom lepak.” right in front of that server asshole…
His reaction was priceless!
arkane - Is there really such an idiotic contest? My goddd
jason - No shit dude
MT - You sure are a drama king dude. I would have chosen to ignore that dipshit instead.
Yalah MT… you sound like trying so hard just to impress a mat rempit… lol
Impress a mat rempit? Dude, I just wanted to make him squirm… Just for fun… It was a “nothing else better to do” type of day…