Now, how many of you ever had the chance to express your negative opinions about housewives and their bad taste in fashion, to a bunch of housewives? I had the rare opportunity yesterday.

The historical event took place at Company X cafeteria when I was having my breakfast with a couple of these shapeshifted housewives. They were sharing opinions about how important it is for an aged woman to look the best for her age. You know, stuff about wearing revealing clothes, dying their hair shit-brown, etc.

Initially, I do not intend to participate in their discussion, because I am not into the idea of old people trying to look young by having excessive makeovers and shit. I knew if I say something, I am going to strike some nerves there and get into trouble. But then, I couldn’t help it after a while. I figured I had to say something - for the sake of mankind - to change the paradigm that has wrongfully taken residence inside their porous brains.

I told them, it is definitely not OK for old women to over-indulge themselves with cosmetic makeovers and vogue fashion. There is only so much one can hide, and after that, it’s going to look just more and more ridiculous and revolting. It’s like adding sugar to your dessert. The right amount of it, will be pleasant. Too much of it, you’d get stroke and high blood pressure (or whatever). See my point? But sadly, not many aging women realize that. They see makeovers and vogue fashion as a huge fountain of youth - the more you slap them on, the better looking you are. That’s just fucking tragic, man.

I’m sure many of you have seen old shapeshifted housewives trying to dress-to-kill. Shapeshifters with hump wearing barebacks, shapeshifters with dimpled cellulites wearing miniskirts, spandex pants, etc. It makes you wonder, what the fuck is wrong with them. I once saw a woman who was way beyond her menopausal age wearing a low cut blouse grandiosely revealing her canyon-wide wrinkled cleavage to the world. Like, can’t she tell? That her rack is… is… is… as saggy… and wrinkled… as a blob of wet plastic bag? Things that I don’t understand.

I know some of you are probably going to chide me that this is about a woman feeling good about her own body and having shitfucks of self confidence that I probably won’t understand in this lifetime. You know, the usual bullshit. But I was just being honest about what is not pleasant to my eyes. Nobody’s stopping them from having self confidence. This is not about having self confidence. This is about how not to be an eyesore and even more, a subject of ridicule. Why can’t they be comfortable with how they naturally look? In my opinion, women with age should not aim at how they look, they should aim at how they carry their personality. When you’re 60 wearing a mini-fucking-skirt or a spandex pants showing off your droopy cameltoes, people just won’t give you any respect. They pay you respect (with flowers and joss paper, that is…)

I think got my opinion across… because none of them castigated me of what I said. Before I peel off, I gave them this final crazy ass suggestion about doing a self check before hitting the streets with their makeovers:

“If you ladies really want to find out if you have really overdid your makeover or overdressed, just take a stroll past the front gate of any of your dog rearing neighbors. If your neighbor’s dog barks like batshit crazy when it sees you, that means whatever you’re wearing or have on your face, are going to agitate some animals and it is also likely going to have negative effects on us humans as well. That’s the time when you should seriously consider to tone it down.”

This, is gonna change the world.