People always say, that there are 2 things you cannot avoid in your adult life – tax and advertisements. But for a high school student, it has got to be the ‘classroom duty’. No I’m not referring ‘duty’ as in ‘your duty to fucking finish your high school and not be a yokel’. But ‘classroom duty’ as in, the janitorial work that your kiddy ass exploited to do by your corrupted school board in their bid to save some maintenance cost. You know, sweep the floor, dust the fucking blackboard and stuff? Yep. Back during my time (I am not sure if people are still doing that today), everyone had to take turn to clean up the mess after class – well unless if you’re a cripple or a biological retard.
The classroom duty was always a fun thing for me and my buddies. I’m not implying that we LIKED to do janitorial work, but more like having the propensity to make the most out of each job. We’d give half assed effort for it and spend the rest of the period romping around. You know, like engaging in broom fights… duster fights… duster soccer… duster juggling (there were a thousand and one cool stuff that we could do with a duster, besides dusting the stupid blackboard) and sometimes, illegal activities like swapping defective desks to adjacent classes. Such were our activities, fully utilized to our juvenile amusement.
One day, we overdid it. I overdid it. I don’t quite remember what was the theme and who was there with me that day but, I was having a blast. Towards the end of the duty, right before we were about to wrap up and lock the classroom, I did a final stunt called ‘the basketball chair’ maneuver. The ‘basketball chair’ maneuver, as the name implies, is played like a basketball… except that there is no ball nor basket involved. You use a fucking chair. Here’s how it works – you throw a chair from a distance away towards another chair, so that it lands upright and stacks up on one another. Requires a little bit of skill to pull a stunt like that but, if you can master it, you’d save a lot of work stacking up chairs.
That day, I was pulling a feat that none of my friends had ever done before (well, that’s probably because they’re not as such a dumbass as I was…). I was trying to do the basketball chair thing at the full length of the class. That is – from the front of the classroom, right to the back of it. That’s like the equivalent of a full court shot in a real basketball game. I don’t know what was I thinking but, it seemed like a neat idea back then.
I can still remember, the chair I was holding was one of those ubiquitous old skool rusty steel chair (that always fucking stain our white uniforms). That thing was heavy, about a few kilograms. I lifted it up with little regards, took a careful aim and flung it with all my might. The chair took flight across the classroom, landed about half a foot short of the target and fell sideways, resulting a din of metal crashing against the cement floor, which I reckoned was loud enough to be heard across the building block. On any other normal day, this would had been a really trivial thing to happen. But that day, was not an ‘any other normal day’. It was the day the planets were not in alignment to my chi, and the cosmic energy was incongruent with my spirit, which thoroughly fucked up my chakra. After the explosion of sound, I noticed a white object towering above me from behind… which prompted me to turn back and look up, and saw my 6 feet something school principal – the formidable Brother Casimir Hannon… and that was when I realized that my fate was in jeopardy there…
(to be continued…)
