March 6, 2008

bitter memories : classroom duty incident (part II)

*this is a continuation from the previous entry… *

Now, a little bit about our principal – ‘Brother Casimir’ was a name that brought tremendous fear back in those days. Though he wasn’t really the incumbent discipline enforcer and rarely made appearances around the classroom areas, rumor had it that he once appeared out of nowhere to grab a boy for misbehaving and gave him the nastiest whack ever on the ass. It was said that the cane whack seared so deep, that the poor boy couldn’t sit upright for days. Although I suspected the tale was probably a product of exaggeration as it traveled from mouth to mouth, I did notice that Bro Casimir indeed brought about an enigmatic aura of trepidation around him. He had the stench of a very dangerous man.

Maybe it was his macabre look, I don’t know. With a pair of deep dark eyes, protruded forehead, hooked nose and one side of crispy thin lopsided hind ear – it wouldn’t be surprising at all if one suspects that he was somewhat a cross between a nosferatu and that pesky pet rat of Jabba the Hutt. People were naturally scared of him. Especially us schoolkids. Whenever he passes by a classroom, one could notice the instant effect. The whole class would go quiet and silence would follow wherever he went. Words would travel fast from classrooms to the next, that “Brother is coming!” and everyone would perk the fuck up and be at their best behavior. Dicks would shrivel and sphincters pucker. And I reckon if there was to be a dog around, it would probably bite its own balls to commit suicide the moment Brother appears, no shit. (alright, that was just an exaggeration…)

So, this fearsome white wizard was standing before me, his white pulpit robe flowing, white hair glistening… but his eyes were fiery red. I’d never seen him so fucking mad before. He grabbed my puny arm and dragged me to the corridor and started to hurl a tirade of batshit angry rebuke at me. I couldn’t understand a single thing he said then because

a) I was too busy being scared shitless
b) he had this thick Irish (or was it Scottish?) accent that made him sound like Rambo with a toothache…

I only managed to make up a few sentences, one of them was “I’M GONNA MAKE SURE YOU GET A STICK FROM ME TOMORROW! NOW TELL ME YOUR NAME!” – He didn’t bring his fucking cane so, he had to book an appointment to get my ass whooped on the next day. And that, was the motherfuckest torture I had to endure in my entire life as a schoolkid. Had he whooped me right away on that spot, I wouldn’t had suffered that much. Imagine, I had to go home that day feeling like I was about to be lynched the next day… which gave me a fucking miserable and sleepless night. I didn’t eat well, nor did anything well. Just scared shitless. It was the longest night ever.

The next day was a Friday, I can remember… and I went to school dithering like a Parkinson patient, looking out for the white wizard to appear in front of the class to summon my head. I waited the whole day long, but surprisingly, he didn’t show up. I was at the verge of going insane, and amidst the agitated state of mind and paranoia, a more foreboding thought came to me – the wizard probably didn’t come because he wanted to save my ass for the Monday assembly public caning… OH MY FUCKING GODDD PANIC PANIC.

And from there, I had to endure another 2 tormenting days through the weekend to face the day of reckoning – which by then, I had already mentally braced myself for the worst… And then the time came in the assembly, it never fucking happened. Brother Casimir wasn’t even fucking there. And because the worst of the possible situation had already gone by, my fear sort of like subsided after that. And he never came that day, the day after and for weeks and months after. I gave it a thought one day, about what went wrong and I suspected that I might have given Brother the wrong name and the wrong class out of my freaked out mind – which might have prevented him from locating me… because you know why? We Chinese kids looked all the fucking same to him. The whole incident went by as if it was an incomplete nightmare… I woke up before Freddy Krueger manage to struck me with his evil ‘stick’ (kinky)

That was my second narrow escape from a calamitous fate, after the first one. I can be unbelievably lucky sometimes…

michaelooi  | escapades  | 

5 Comments to “bitter memories : classroom duty incident (part II)”

  1. Arkane says:

    Well, they say the worst part of the punishment is waiting for it to come. the fear, trepidation and anticipation. pure mental torture.

    Speaking of Bro Cash’s irish accent, i always liked his opening phrase during monday morning assemblies “Se-leh-mat peh-gee giu-rooh giu-rooh den miu-raid miu-raid scallian”

  2. michaelooi says:

    I never liked the school assembly. And I also grew up to become someone who doesn’t like meetings. I skip meetings all the fucking time at work. (and at the rare occasion when I attend a meeting, I also tend to walk out if I’m somehow disinterested with the agenda or feel unproductive abt the whole thing)

  3. MorpheusX says:

    And after the assembly the blood sucking prefects will scan you like a prisoner and hopes to fine you with their fine slips… well it isnt that bad if the prefect was a nice pretty chick. And if there is something special event we would have certainly missed the 2nd and 3rd period of class … hence the shorter hour to endure for Friday.

    God Bless the La Sallian Order

  4. Nicevil says:

    I used to throw the duster filled with chalk dust to my friend’s groin.
    Then as he was forced to pat and clean his pants, I would yell to all the girls…

    “GIRLS, LOOK AT WHAT HE’S TOUCHING….!!!” *pat pat pat*

    Climbed out the school metal gate to buy candy.. pranked the teachers car…. ran away from snakes in the school field… ahhh, the good old days. :]

  5. michaelooi says:

    morpheusX – We had quite a number of pretty chick prefects in SXI during my years. There was once one of the them stooped so low to complain about my untied shoelaces that I could see her downblouse and her half exposed rack. And the incident was witnessed by approximately half a dozen boys, on my side… heheh

    nicevil – Well, I used to draw a big inverted Zorro “Z” (or any obscene sketches) on my unsuspecting victims’ chair with chalk. The “Z” or message would then get transposed onto the victim’s pants after sitting on the chair. It was silly but fun.

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