isn’t it dramatic?
Emily was hearing her housewife colleagues meting out each other’s glorious moments in their respective domestic quarrels in an automobile, when it came to her turn to tell her story. When my wife told them that she and I would usually go quiet after each quarrel inside the car, it garnered quite a reaction from the bunch.
I don’t exactly have the details, but I can imagine it go like this, “What? You’d just keep quiet?? No… girl, that will be too easy for your husband”.
I am not sure if this was for the good or bad, but it seems that they have their own idea of how to react each time they have a quarrel with their husband. From what I understand through Emily’s description, the reaction must possess following characteristics:
1) it must be something out of ordinary.
2) it must have the ’shock and awe’ element.
3) it must be done with style and glamor.
4) it must not be easy on your husband.
I then asked, “So what is it?”. I was thinking of something like jumping out of the car window and roll on the tarmac like a Hindustan stuntman (or in this case, stuntwoman), which kinda fulfilled the 4 big important criterias above, but it wasn’t.
Emily replied - “2 of them did this before - they actually asked their husband to stop the car, got out of the vehicle in a dramatic fashion and attempted to walk home.”
o_O”
My reaction - “That was fucking dumb.”
But surprisingly, their plan actually worked. It so happens that their husbands did go after them and wheedled them back into the vehicle, bloating them with pride and self confidence. And that was why, I reckon, the ladies failed to spot anything wrong with their acts.
“If it were to be me, dear, you can best bet your ass that I won’t come back after you. You can walk home sweltering under that hot sun, for all I care. I’m gonna go ahead and drive myself the fuck home.”
“You’re a heartless fucker. How could you do that??”
“If you look at it this way, I’m just fulfilling your wish of not wanting to be with me. Who knows, maybe you needed that moment alone to walk long distance home and cool off. If you don’t want to walk home, then don’t ask for it.”
“Maybe I should ask you to get out of the vehicle instead, and I DRIVE HOME.”
“Fine for me. I just need to make a couple of phone calls and I’d be spending the rest of the day happy-houring with my buddies at our regular pub in no time.”
“…”
Maybe we guys take things easier than the ladies. I don’t see the logic of doing things like that to your spouse. I for one, would definitely never do that. Threatening to walk home to force the situation in favor of you isn’t right. That is just spastic.
Going quiet is the best you can do if you have a quarrel inside a car. Mitigate the damage. Avert yourself from further confrontation lest you’d say something you might regret. Walking home alone on a highway can be very dangerous. You risks yourself of getting kidnapped by sex fiends, gang raped by rabid dogs or worse, run over by a garbage truck. It’s just not worth it. (well, unless you enjoy it…)
Well, at least you all did that.
My ex didn’t walk out of the car (we couldn’t drive back then) but used to apply various dirty tactics.
In retrospect, it was dumb of me to accede to her wishes.
I reckon keeping quiet when the other party is blowing his/her top is something that I will do. No point arguing
It might be tricky as we do not know what’s going on in their minds.
- Maybe they wanted to be wanted ( like those cliche korean dramas…)
- Maybe they are really upset and needed time alone ( I will definitely sugguest somewhere where I drop her and pick her up later. meantime i will have beer and stay within vicinity without her noticing)
- Maybe… perhaps
Geez.. i am still trying to figure out on my side
But I have to say psychological blackmail is even more vicious.
It is INDEED a dumb tactic of ‘memujuk’ or ‘merajuk’.
I do know however of a couple, where the guy stopped the car and forced the girl out of the car without her bag or her handphone. At least if she’s being an ass, you would give her that.
My then boyfriend used to do that too (HE was the one who would want to walk home in a huff whenever I am being bitchy. After I called him out as a drama queen, he stop doing those idiotic acts).
Better to be quiet.
know wats worst? them staying in the car and starting to sob. that just makes me wanna floor the accelerator and drive off a bridge. damn unfair tactic.
drtan - Dirty tactics? Like what? Yank the steering? Pull the handbrake? What?
souplad - Yeah, psychological blackmail like not wanting to tell you her problems - that can be a real torture…
dils - Wow, you called your ex-bf a drama queen, and he reacted with a drama? That’s classic, girl.
dsaint - Oh yeah. Sobbing is the mother of all trades by them ladies and they’re fucking good at that. Whenever my Emily sobs, I’ll turn into a wuss and go hug her. This is like hitting below the belt in a boxing match.
When my ex and I had argument, especially in the car, we will remain quiet because if she became angry, she might sob, and if I became angry, I mean really angry, I tend to drive like a mad man. But that leads to another problem.. lack of communication. And that’s why we broke up not long ago….
i’ve never requested to get out of the car and walk home. Kinda stupid if i do that. my hubby would have the same reaction like yours. For me, I’m a crybaby. So, I always end up bursting in tears. And we end the quarrel real quickly. Win-win.
er as a girl, i admit to going all drama queen on the guy when i’m pissed. it’s like, if you just act all quiet, the guy would think you’re fine with whatever he did. he won’t realize the IMPACT of the situation until you do something wayyy over
Adrian - I drive like a madman when I’m excited.
blusher - The quarrel ended quick because the problem had to be put in lower priority to make way for a bigger one — your bawling.
danielle - Trust me girl, it’ll only make the guy feel pissed. That’s the characteristics that we guys usually label with the capital ‘B’. Try to use the psychological tactic instead. Don’t talk to him and be apathetic for a few days - he’d go crazy, trust me. (sorry guys)
the most psychotic attack i got was crying, in SMS (emoticons). wtfffff???
i think keeping quiet for a while is good la. At least we wont say something that will cause more anger between the two of us. And no way I wanna walk home, possibility of a man got rape while walking home is lower than a woman walking home
hmm, those lame drama queen tactics only work on dumb sissy guys haha! but if the girl starts to sob, duh.. agree with you michael, keeping quiet is the way. no point arguing as both not in ‘correct’ mood to listen to each other. silent treatment is the way! applies to both sexes