Archive for January, 2008

January 20, 2008

“The Girl Next Door” (2007)

Without looking at the poster, one would have mistaken that this flick is another typical teenage comedy that revolves around the life of a hormone raging college dork that fell in love with his neighbor (or something like that). But this is not. Quite contrary from what the title might suggests, this turns out to be quite a sick and disturbing flick. Not sick and disturbing as what people could do with blood, gores or special effects – in fact, the gores and effects are quite minimal in this flick – but this ‘sick and disturbing’ is psychological.

It makes you ‘feel’ it. You’d flinch when you watch it. It would make you go aghast and look at your fellow partner with utter disbelief. You’d think about it even after a few days. You’d even feel awkward to even explain about the details to your friends. And frankly speaking, I have never seen a flick quite like this.

So is it any good? Depends. If you’re the squeamish type, a Mormon, a self proclaimed somebody with high moral standard, somebody with strong religious beliefs and discipline, a consummate feminist, or a close minded bigot – stay out of this. This is something definitely not for you. This is evil stuff to the very core. Not for the weak spirited or weak hearted. If you’re like me, then you’ll think that this is quite something.

For me, I like this flick not because it’s entertaining or anything like that. I like it because it allows you catch a good glimpse on the dark side of human nature. What a fellow human can do to another. And they made it look so real in this flick. It doesn’t need any CGI effects or plenty of gore to convey that message. It doesn’t need to have a complex plot to tell the story. This is just straight, somewhat like a documentary, down in the basement of a house – to show you all that. It’s very wicked.

A film adaptation of a novel, it tells about the story of boy called David who befriends a girl and her disabled sister who came to live with his neighbor after their parents died in a car accident. The neighbor was the girl’s aunt and also happened to be an alcoholic. In what started to be an ill treatment to both the girls, the aunt soon began to consciously abuse them, and slowly, turned into a full scale torture – especially the elder (and abled) one, who took the brunt of all the torturing (due to her puberty).

The girl was bound at the basement of the house and the sociopath aunt would ask her boys (3 of them, with 2 of them barely even of teenage) to strip her naked and encouraged them to unleash their angst on her in a cult like manner. David was in the scene all the while, though he disapproved those brutal acts, he couldn’t do anything about them (due to his extreme stupidity or whatever, I don’t know) and he would just watch. In one scene, several kids in the neighborhood were even invited there to watch the torturing with their mouths wide agape as if they were given the chance to watch a witch being burnt at stake, but none of them showed any conscience except David. The girl would be raped, beaten up, cut and even burnt in the course of the movie, and only in the end, David decided that he should REALLY do something about it and ended it all with a twist.

In this flick, you get to see kids yelling profanities, swigging beers, plotting rapes and reveling at the victim’s naked body… like I said, it was sick and disturbing. A gripping and harrowing tale of a torture victim, tonnes of shocking acts and has a bad aftertaste. If you have no problem with all these, I’d highly recommend it. 8 out of 10.

In case you protested how this movie should have ended, just want to let you know that this movie adaptation of that novel, is actually based on a TRUE event that happened in the 70s. In the real event, there wasn’t any ‘David’ for the victim, and she didn’t get rescued. And the tortures in the real event, were very much worse than what was shown in this flick. Imagine that. You can read more about it here.

michaelooi  | movie reviews  | 4 Comments
January 15, 2008

what have i learned? – 02

[to continue from “what have i learned? – 01″]

Lesson 03: Your boss did not hire you to ask him/her to solve your own problems
A lot of bosses may seem very nice to offer an open door policy and such. You know, stuff like “If you have any problems, do not hesitate to come look for me”. I can assure you one thing about that – it’s a gyp. A trickery. A stratagem. A bait in the form of assurance and promises… to lure out and identify suckers like you (face it, everyone’s a sucker).

The first step is always ‘to identify’. Once identified, they’ll have reasons to deny you your cheese, be it a business-trip-of-a-lifetime to Europe, an increment or even a promotion. It’s never a good thing to go to your boss and hope that you’ll get your problem(s) solved. Going to your boss for solutions is akin to admitting that you suck, weak, incapable and useless. Never ever do that. If you have problems, solve it yourself. That’s what they’re paying you for – to work for the company… which pretty fucking much includes solving problems. Get someone, anyone except your boss, to help you get through the hurdle. If you can’t solve it still and you’re in deep shit, good. That means you’ll never get into the same trouble again (presuming that you’re smart enough to learn from it) – and it’s still very much better than telling your boss that you suck.

Lesson 04: You’re making yourself look bad when you gripe, whine or backstab
Everyone judges. Your boss, your colleagues, your friends, the fatass security guard. All of them. And that makes it dangerous when you have a negative opinion about something. This is especially critical when you’re doing it in front of your boss. “Boss I think Benny sucks because he didn’t do his work properly bla bla bla”

If you think your boss is going to think that Benny really sucks and you’re better than him just by listening to your acrid testimony, then you must be delusional. Your boss sees it differently, no shit. He’ll see it that instead of helping your colleague Benny to improve his work quality, you’re trying to mar his reputation further by badmouthing him. That makes you even more of an asshole, less of a good worker cum team player and a least potential candidate to be a leader. See my point?

If you really want to make Benny look bad, the art is to be very much better than him (work performance wise) and at the same time, be able to indirectly show your boss that despite giving all the required help to Benny, he’s still as useless and painful like a hemorrhoid. That way, you’ll project yourself as a benevolent and dedicated team player, and at the same time, make Benny look bad ‘unintentionally’. (Don’t ask me how I learned this…)

Lesson 05: If you can’t beat the devil, join him
If there’s ever the most valuable lesson I’ve learned in these years working in a corporate world, this has got to be it – to learn things from everyone indiscriminately. You see, sometimes we tend to hate someone because he/she’s a zillion times smarter than us. This is natural. It’s our ego that’s fucking with us. We tend to feel threatened when we get outsmarted at stuff we think we rule best. I had the same thing when I started (still do, sometimes). I hated that cheebye senior engineer who coached me and treated me like shit. I hated that arrogant manager who kept rejecting my process application. I hated that pukimak HR cunt that almost took me for a ride by discreetly reducing my agreed starting wage (errmm, I still hate her today, despite her being retired and shit)

But the fact is, most of these people are the ones that can really impart shitloads of valuable knowledge and experiences that you can use. The person may not be someone you like in principle or whatever, but it’s your call. Fuck with them, you lose, because they’re so much better than you… or you can choose to join them and learn something from them. The dearest lessons in life don’t often come sugar coated for your convenience. They’re most of the time, hidden in guises and odd shapes (Now who the hell doesn’t want to learn all the good things from an ultra friendly scorching hot bimbo with embossed nipples? You wish)

I learned this in my second year. I started socializing with people whom before I considered despicable pieces of shit – but later, much to my own embarrassment, went on to discover that they’re very much knowledgeable than I ever was. These people kinda became my best mentors and I had less treacherous paths to worry about. I mingled and I learned indiscriminately. Still doing it.

michaelooi  | enlightenments  | 12 Comments
January 8, 2008

are dogs androgynous?

I learned something about dogs over the weekend. Something probably a lot of people already knew except me. It was told by a friend of mine, Tony – that male dogs, unlike us human, do not have the ability to differentiate genders in its own ring of society… at least not until somebody in their group starts to emit that redolent scent of love, which only then, they’d get all crazy and started to pork whoever that smells.

I do not know if my friend Tony is fucking with me but, that sounds kinda dubious, don’t you think? I mean, aren’t dogs suppose to be intelligent or something? Like, if they can sniff porn dvds out of thousands of stacks of baggage, or even guide some blind person around town – why can’t they at least have that wee bit of consciousness to realize that some of their buddies have dark wrinkled sacks hanging under their asshole and some do not? You’ve got to be shitting me if they’re that ignorant, man.

In my own ways of interpreting this fact, that would mean, dogs always think of themselves as androgynous, and probably if they do not get to smell any of those bitch-scent in their lifetime, they’d probably go ahead with the delusion to split themselves into 2 dawgs through asexual reproduction process (yeah man, like amoebas).

Maybe some of you who knows a little bit about dogs can confirm this – if my friend Tony has been fucking with me.

michaelooi  | thoughts  | 10 Comments
January 7, 2008

the weirdest shit

My 10th year service award dinner. I wasn’t going to attend it until I saw the grand prize for the lucky draw – it was a notebook that I desperately longed for. That was when I decided to give it a shot, you know, just in case I got lucky or something. But it was a decision that I would regret later – not only did I not get anything, but I had to sit with the weirdest shit.

The weird shit I’m talking about, is a spinster in her late 40’s. Just in case you wonder, yes, she’s there to receive her 10th year service award. Like me. (But then, I assure you, that was the only thing we have in common). What’s worst, she sat right beside me.

So, what makes me think that she’s the weirdest shit? A lot of factors, people. I’ll list them out and you decide yourself.

First of all, the look. You see, this lady, I reckon that she’s still a spinster because of many reasons. One of the main ones, has got to be her looks. And man, is she fucking ugly or what. Emaciated and greenish pale in complexion, you’d think that either she’s a retired crack hooker or someone impersonating a decomposed corpse in a Halloween party. On top of that, her face is also riddled with acnes and warts, with a coarsely cut scarecrow hairstyle. As for her garbs that night, she was wearing a somehow worn out and faded T-shirt (untucked), with an oversized dark blue khaki pants complemented with a pair of white sneakers. (it wouldn’t have looked so weird if she wasn’t attending a formal company dinner to receive her 10th year service award)

Now, you might probably think that she just has a bad taste in fashion, and was not blessed with a good look and shit, and that doesn’t warrant the right for anyone to label her as a weirdo, right? Well, unfortunately, no. She also talks to herself. She’d babble things (by herself) during the whole course of the dinner. Initially, I thought she was talking to me. As I did not want to be rude, I asked for her pardon a few times – and she’d just go “bzz bzzzzz bzzzz bzzzzz” and ends it with a cackling witch laugh “eeehehehehehehehhehh”. It happened for a few times before I got really scared – you’ll never know if people like her is gonna short circuit, grab somebody’s balls (I was just sitting right beside her, you see) and bite his nuts off or something.

And then, there was one particular moment, she closed her eyes, crossed her palms together on her lap and started meditating right on the table. Everyone was so dumbfucked then. I even jokingly said to one of my colleagues, that if we see smokes coming out of her head, we better fucking run. She’s probably evoking her voodoo shit and is opening the hell gate. (I deliberately said it loud enough for her to hear it – I was just testing water if she’s pretending. But she didn’t seem to hear it). She did the meditation for a whole 5 or so minutes, woke up and continued to cackle like usual. Totally bizarre, man.

The management said that they hoped that we’ll all have an unforgettable experience that night, and I certainly had that (albeit in quite the opposite way). I kinda also wondered, what actually happened to that loony spinster? Was she as kooky as this 10 years ago before joining Company X? Is her present self a by-product of years of stress and depression from excessive work? What would be her next stage of metamorphosis then? A full mental retardation?

I’ve already worked for Company X for 10 years. She probably got kooky years ahead of me due to her shallow character or perhaps unhealthy diet. And if that’s true, then it is just a matter of time before I become like her… and that’s a disturbing fact to learn indeed.


michaelooi  | work shit  | 8 Comments
January 2, 2008

‘review my site, michael’

How bout me clobbering some retards as my first post on a spanking brand new year? Sounds like a good idea.

Here you go, people. (received this a few days ago)

from: HeartBeat Admin []
date: Dec 31, 2007 3:57 AM
subject: Review on

Hi, I’m Vincent from A website that providing personalized gifts online in Malaysia.

I just visited your website & I found it is interesting and informatic.

May I know could you help me to write a review on my

As a return, I would be very happy to present you a personalized mug from our website. We can print your own photo on the mug.

Looking forward in hearing from you.
Thanks. ^_^


012-647 9294

Ohhh [squeal]! He finds my site ‘informatic’ and I have every reason to be thrilled about it.

I fucking hate spammers.

from: Michael Ooi
to: HeartBeat Admin [],
date: Dec 31, 2007 6:19 PM
subject: Re: Review on

dear vincent
your site looks like a cheap ass porn site without porn.


There. Feel free to visit Vincent’s site and tell me if my review’s accurate or what.

michaelooi  | mails/posts  | 13 Comments