January 28, 2008

i hate CNY

I have been thinking today – oh how I hated Chinese fucking New Year. If it is about something, it has to be about spending money unnecessarily. The projected damage that Emily and I are getting this year, stands menacingly at about 700 bucks. Small amount, but considering the fact that they are to be spent for NOTHING, it’s a motherfucking lot of money. You see, most of the time, they are given away to obnoxious kids whom we hardly meet or particularly fond of. And those kids, would wish nothing of you except to bilk you off your money. They don’t really care if you’re his father’s cousin or that uncle who once saved the family dog’s life. They just want that red thing in your hand, and then you can disappear for all they care.

So, what’s the fucking point man? Where’s the love bebeh? If you were to ask me, I’d say I would rather spend those hard earned money on something that I feel worthy, like my daughter’s expensive formula (which costs about 100 over bucks per jumbo can – cheebyeee!)… or some exotic lens filters which I’ve been abstaining from getting for myself. But the custom dictates otherwise, and whoever that came up with the idea of distributing money to bribe ourselves some friends and relationships, ought to be hung and shot.

If this is all for turning the gaiety event up a notch, why can’t they have candies instead? Kids would go nuts for candies. Just like Halloween. They can dress themselves up or do funny things to amuse us, and based on their performance, we arbitrarily decide how many Tic Tacs to be dispatched on that those little tykes’ palms. Or maybe, we can judge them based on their final exam at school. Those who got good results, candies for them. Those who failed any subjects, will have to hoover that little green bug from grandma’s lawn there. (Come on, it’ll be fun)

If they’re too piss scared to eat little green bugs, well then, stay the fuck away from Uncle Michael! (And leave me a little peace).

No pain, no gain – kids should learn about that from young to better prepare them to face the bitterness of reality. But until that idea gets popular, perhaps I should think of a way to avoid this… like maybe, go for a vacation or something.

Yeah, I’m so gonna do that someday.

michaelooi  | rantings  | 

13 Comments to “i hate CNY”

  1. Danielle says:

    Nah it’s OK for you now coz you’re married WITH a kid. Imagine being married and childless-now that’s gonna give you a big, big loss. Just bring Regine to every house you can think of and parade her in front of the other elders!

  2. michaelooi says:

    danielle – it’s still a bad trade-off. I only have 1, some of those people have 3 – 4 kids. *sigh

  3. Arkane says:

    nah, the vacation idea doesn’t work. i tried that once. my mum asked me for the ang pow’s upfront before I left so that she could pass them to the aforementioned pesky kids. It’s called “commital in absentia”

  4. ashotiwoth says:

    dude… try the vacation thingy… last year i did that and saved quite a lot… hehehe…

    or u can try this….

    you dun go and give the angpow away. you sit, and wait for the kids to come. if they don’t come, just pretend you don’t see them. works for me everytime… muahahaha

    and oh – i don’t do the passing-angpow thingy… if the kids were not there when i give out angpow, then they missed out :) simple?

  5. Chrys says:

    Use the money for a short trip during CNY.

  6. blusher says:

    Vacation? Hmm…good idea. I’ve been losing out the past 7 yrs. All out, none coming in. :mrgreen:

  7. michaelooi says:

    arkane – that didn’t work for you because you told your mom upfront about your vacation. You should have just absconded without telling her, and perhaps only sms her when you’re about to board the plane…

    ashotiwoth – the pretend thing don’t work. Kids are like a pack of wolves during CNY. They hunt for people trying to pretend not to see them. I know it won’t work.

    chrys – Yeah. Short trip long trip, doesn’t matter. Just outta here.

    blusher – I haven’t had a vacation since 2004. Sheesh.

  8. TiBuN says:

    Do you give ang pao to neighbours then? They are not those kids who just took your money and see you next year.

  9. michaelooi says:

    neighbor’s an indian family. We gave them a box of homemade cookies and oranges.

  10. Shar says:

    Just tell ppl it’s against ur religion to give out money to half breeds

  11. esther says:

    Well, think of it this way. You were once a child who thrived on angpows. (I could be wrong.)

    And besides, isn’t Regine on the receiving end of angpows as well.

  12. michaelooi says:

    esther – don’t take this too seriously. it’s a grown man’s gripes, everybody does this when they’ve been paying for too much shit. ;-)

  13. esther says:

    Understood! :)

    I’m currently living overseas and have very intention to return to Malaysia but I miss the traditions and culture.

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