December 14, 2007

what have i learned? – 01

Tonight, I’ll be made to haul my ass up a glittering stage to shake the hand of our Vice President, take a shitty photo with him (which both of us aren’t gonna be too fond of) and get from him my 10th year service award gift.

That’s right, you didn’t read me wrong. 10 frigging years. That is how long I have been with Company X. I was only a callow 20 year old when I joined. But now, I’m a fucking cunning old man in the company (and proud of it).

For that decade long of service, I bet you guys must be thinking that I will be getting a pretty nifty reward for staying so loyal for so long. Like maybe, a holiday to Europe or a nice notebook to complement my cunning old man image, you know. But no. Sad to say, I’ll just be getting a cert (with my name on it, how cool) and an mp3 player of insignificant value (not even an iPod). Fuckety fuck fuck.

But I ain’t complaining. You know why? Because I am grateful – for I have already gotten something even more valuable than that. Life lessons. The plethora of experiences. Fuck ups and mistakes that I made, and what I have learned from them. Those stuff. You don’t get those off the shelves. Those smart management books, seminars and courses? They’re all mostly bullshit – because in my arrogant opinion, nothing beats experiencing everything yourself.

And I got those, and still getting it.

So, what have I learned so far, after surviving for so long in the corporate world? I’m gonna share them in probably a few posts as I think and list them… and in no particular order…
(Count your blessings, folks – for when I was 20, nobody hinted me anything about staying afloat in the corporate world. I learned them all the hard way)

Lesson 01: Never bite the hand that feeds you.
That’s another way of saying, never fuck with your boss. When I first joined Company X, I never deigned to give anyone respect, and that includes my then boss. I got into a yelling competition with my boss on my first review, and was made to pay a dear lesson when words spreaded far about my attitude. And believe me, I am still paying for that mistake till this day – despite being a totally changed person, I am still being tagged as a mean fuck wherever I go. That attribute got stuck, and that’s just unfortunate.

Always think of it this way, your boss is like your locomotive, and you’re just a rail car being pulled in tandem. Fuck with him small, and you’re fucking yourself big. Many successful people know this secret. Probably some of you extra smart ones do as well. This is also the reason why people sell their soul and self esteem to the devil to suck on their superior’s balls (that’s taking it to the extreme). – they’re insuring their own welfare through good relationship with their boss.

Lesson 2: The only direction left for you to go when you’re at the top, is down.
That’s right. This has got to be one of the most important thing I’ve learned during my tenure in Company X. I understand that the youngs nowadays like to go with the motto of ‘showing what you can’ and can’t wait to impress other people with how much you can do for them. (trying to be smart, etc)

Trust me people, that’s not a wise thing to do. It only took me a couple years to learn this, and it has gotten me very far in my working life. If you still cannot grasp what this is all about, imagine your work as your weekly food ration. Now, think about this, would it be wise for you to eat them out of gluttony in one day, and suffer hunger for the rest of the week? Or would it be wiser for you to consume them moderately over the course of the whole week so that you’d get an even filling? See my point?

The key idea is to leave yourself enough work to do everyday. Impressing your boss is important, yes. But it is even more important for you to sustain that good impression on a constant manner, rather than setting your bar too high the first few times and see yourself fail on the subsequent. Spread your achievements thin, you’ll last longer.

I’ll leave this for now… lunch time’s over. Will post more when free. [to be continued here – “what have i learned? – 02″]

michaelooi  | enlightenments  | 

14 Comments to “what have i learned? – 01”

  1. deriku says:

    Waiting for your next post on ‘climbing the corporate ladder 101′.

  2. Adrian says:

    Excellent ideas to the young and inexperience fresh grad chap. Keep it coming, or maybe you could write a book about it, like “Corporate Life for Dummies” or something.

  3. seremban engineer says:

    This is a very impressing entry. Thanks for sharing. Hope to see the review in another 10 years. Ha ha, probably you become the VP already.

  4. tyra says:

    hmm so now im in MD’s office..not sure yet if i hv made d right choice but bottom line is when the learning process ends & no increament..i will quit? and stick with it?

  5. Janson Tan says:

    Nicely written.

  6. blusher says:

    Congrats! At least, you get a cert ;-) for being such a royal…er…loyal staff. Hehehe….

    Tips from the Guru himself. 10 years…you did it :-) More tips please!

  7. ashotiwoth says:

    dude – the only reason you were at the dinner were for the lucky draw prizes – heh :)

    btw – it’s nice finally being able to put the face to ;)

  8. michaelooi says:

    deriku – This is to sustain, not climb ler. To climb, you just need to know how to play golf and *ahem* perform fellatios.

    adrian – It helps us old folks in a way when they’re smarter sometimes…

    seremban engineer – If I’m a VP, this blog would be gone… no more ideas lar.

    tyra – Why the hell are you reading blogs in your MD’s office lar?

    janson – I know.

    blusher – More tips: Send Michael Ooi a Mac! (no more iPod)

    ashotiwoth – Asheeeehhhh don’t lar bocor my hidden agenda… I actually yelled ‘fuck!’ when the last number was called. I so fucking wanted that notebook so fucking badly. Eeesh…

  9. cbljkkj says:

    I guess the most important thing to do is be humble while working. Glad to see such an entry of work understanding. Definitely a guide to follow for a long term career.

  10. Primrose says:

    I’ve been educated. My ration for weekly food is constant. ;)

  11. d'Fish says:

    hi micheal…been awhile i’ve popped in here… still blogging over your job and nutty thing huh…

    why la…why la… nothing on current issues…

  12. michaelooi says:

    cblkkj – Humility goes a long way in human relationship, no doubt it is a good trait for one to have.

    primrose – And you’re getting more and more food…

    d’fish – Current issues? You mean like that Hindraf struggle? Nah. They’re just plain stupid to pressure the gov with violence, period. Influenced by too much Bollywood flicks perhaps. If it’s alright for everyone to flout the law and its constitution just to get what they need, we’d all be moving back to caves and wearing hides. Those people could have read more Gandhi or perhaps Martin Luther King before planning for anything.

  13. surfnux says:

    Congrats man! Thank you for sharing your experience. :)

  14. SPF 88 says:

    Thank you, Uncle Mike! :)

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