“Vacancy”
This is suppose to be a slasher flick. I repeat, SUPPOSE to be a slasher flick. Judging from the title, one would assume that the plot would have to do with somekind of job vacancy, probably to lure unsuspecting victims to the killing fetish of a calm but psychotic slasher.
Well, had it been that, it would have been a neat plot. But no, it wasn’t like that at all. Apparently, the word ‘vacancy’ in this film is referring to the level of intelligence one needed to be able to enjoy this film. I have only 1 word for this flick - BORING.
It was about an estranged couple who got stucked in the middle of nowhere at night when their car broke down after taking a shortcut off the interstate highway. Fortunately for them (or rather, unfortunately), there was a motel nearby and they decided to spend a night after couldn’t get themselves a mechanic. But that motel, turns out to be a den of a bunch of snuff film makers - who murders and records their victims inside their motel room. Adventure ensues (and both of them miraculously survived the ordeal).
Sounds like kookily fun but trust me, it is not. I shit you not but, it is more interesting to watch Fun Song Factory on Astro Playhouse Disney Channel than this crap. The film lacked of blood, lacked of gore, lacked of serious stunts and lacked of even a decent storyline. The villains (note the ’s’ - there were more than 1 slasher in this film) were a bunch of clumsy farts and the antagonist looked like the senile version of that lewd Lieutenant Jim Dangle from Reno 911. Heck, even the chick’s not hot. (I used to have the hots for Kate Beckinsale, but after a horrific episode of seeing her semi-exposed tits with crack marks from a forwarded email, I kinda dumped her). From what I reckoned, the budget probably did not exceed 2,000 bucks had it not for the couple of moderately famous actor/actress in it. It still sucked even if it was to be marketed as a B grade movie, that is how bad it was (for me).
My rating for this movie : 2 out of 10 - this is a slasher-flick wannabe, but far from qualified to be called one.
(I think I’m gonna start giving grades for the movies I review from now on - so let’s start with this one).
So the title of the movie is Vacancy, Michael? Yes, i think it’s a good idea to start a rating for your reviews. Looking forward to more reviews…
You must be feeling the same way I felt after paying 10 bucks (x2) for that stupid crap called “Harry Porter and the Order of the Phoenix”.
junkgirl - I have no idea why it’s called “Vacancy”…
arkane - Well, perhaps not as bad… since I didn’t pay zilch for this crap. It’s crap, but free crap.
Aw..i kinda like kate beckinsale. But yea, vacancy sucks.
Don’t bother watching “Wrong Turn” btw. A “hills have eyes” ripoff. Badly done.
Uhm.. it is called Vacancy cause that term is often used in motels/hotels to indicate they have rooms open (vacant). No vacancies, no open rooms… So it is a fitting name for a film centered around a motel.
Michael, hopefully I don’t get that Kate Beckinsale email… I still would like to think she’s hot
Zer0 - The first “Hills Have Eyes” was kinda good. But the sequel sucked donkey cock.
Andre - Ah, that’s how it’s like. Thanks for the enlightenment buddy. I didn’t know the Americans have that sort of thing.
Honestly, I thought u were gonna blog about someone’s ‘vacant’ mind.
Ah hahahahaahaha!