September 4, 2007

private but not confidential

The Company X management sent out a memo to all employees yesterday, that we’re all required to take an online compliance course – which is about some Personal Data and Privacy protection kind of thing – as soon as possible, or else face a constant badgering from that fat conniving HR bitch with a head full of pubic-like frilly hair… Knowing very well that the consequence of forgetting to do that online course can be more dire than a painful cancerous death, I immediately got it done as of yesterday.

So what was the whole thing all about? I can summarize it into only 3 sentences:

1) If thou saw anything oddly fascinating or intriguing about the company clients or employees, do not ‘see’ any further.
2) If thou felt obliged to further examine or ‘see’ that oddly fascinating or intriguing info, then make sure you don’t tell anybody about it after that.
3) If thou REALLY HAVE to tell anyone about that piece of oddly fascinating or intriguing info ANYWAY, then make sure that person you share with complies these same 3 rules.

Alright, it’s more or less interpreted that way. Whatever.

So, the whole thing’s about respecting individual rights. You know, keeping secrets and all that. But more often than not, I see these getting violated like a cheap whore on a broad daylight. That’s why we have telemarketers calling you and me and everybody every fucking now and then. So what good is having one firm respecting privacy and another violating it? What privacy? What personal information?

It’s virtually impossible to control information from circulating the planet nowadays. A good classic scenario would be – getting caught wanking inside your unlocked room, by your mom. Ask yourself, can you actually convince your mom to not tell anyone about it? Yeah, maybe she’d promise not to tell anyone etc bla bla bla – but eventually, the whole neighborhood will be sharing that very same secret (it actually happened to my cousin Kelv before… poor guy). It’s like going against the intrinsic human instinct of wanting to get nosy about anything.

“Oh man did you know her tits are fake etc etc? *gossip gossip gossip*”

I have been made to go through the same test before. A colleague once accidentally saw one of our fat hag manager’s (an ex employee now…) payslip on the printer tray, and told me about it. She was paid RM 8,900 something per month. I went like, “WHAT THE FUCK??? SHE GETS THAT FOR READING EMAILS AND IMPERSONATING A BITCH???” – I told everyone her wage the next day. Everyone fucking hated her from that day on. Why did I do it? Because I can’t help it. It was as if, I’d fucking bust my balls if I keep the information about her any longer. I’m sure most of you people know what I’m talking about.

That’s why I quoted – “violated like a cheap fucking whore”. Everyone knows about everything, they just don’t talk about it. The best way of safeguarding your personal data – starts with yourself. Don’t tell anyone about your fake tits. Don’t tell anyone about your illegitimate affair with that skank from Sales. Don’t fill in your real particulars in a contest just to trade that slim chance of winning a shitty vacation to bumfuck. Just don’t tell anyone, anything… Be a fucking hermit or whatever. If you can’t do all that, then I guess you’ll just have to be content about everything that the technology can do to your reputation.

Clicking pages after pages of that online training, was just another facade of sucking up to the management to NOT GET a bad review for the fiscal year. Yes that’s what we corporate drones always do, bluffing each other to get real.

Makes me feel like a dirty slut everytime I do that.

michaelooi  | work shit  | 

4 Comments to “private but not confidential”

  1. tEo says:

    Juz drop by to wish u…
    Happy Birthday!

  2. Little Ray says:

    Your birthday? Happy Birthday =)

  3. Wilson says:

    Hey, Happy Birthday !!!
    Hahaha btw, I am doing more than emails at company X….. luckily….

  4. michaelooi says:

    thanks for the wishes guys.

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