June 26, 2007

the rempit syndrome

If you do not already know what does the word rempit means, I suggest reading this first.

The “rempit syndrome” – as I would like to call it from now on – seems to be omnipresent in all stages of our Malaysian society… as I’ve learned in the past 2 weeks…

Incident 1 :
A fat young guy on his bike took to the right side of my fast moving car from behind, and attempted to overtake my car. But when his bike couldn’t match my car’s speed, the guy suddenly braked hard, went ballistic and honked at me like I have accidentally ran over his family cat.
Apparently, fat-shit wanted to go left at a Y-junction ahead (which was quite close). He should have taken the left side of the lane to do that, but for some strange reason, he didn’t. Maybe he thought that it was way cooler to dramatically maneuver his bike past me and cross diagonally in front of my car with just enough niche of timing to clear the path into the left junction… But of course, it didn’t work out well for him.
I slowed down after hearing his honk of misery from behind, which he caught up on me at the left side and I reciprocated with my way-more-superior air horn… jolting the shit out of him… and then showed him my version of The Finger.

Incident 2 :
I wanted to make a right turn at the base of a T-junction, and saw this slow moving car approaching from the left side of the junction, with its right indicator turned on. Being a considerate driver, I adhered to the tacit right-of-way rule – I stopped to let the car pass – and that was exactly what the guy behind the wheel did.
But when the car reaches half way in completing the turn, the middle aged driver suddenly braked and stopped right in the middle of its track, dead center at intersection. I thought the car was broken down or something, but it wasn’t. The driver stopped because he wasn’t sure if he turned into the right junction, and decided to have a small discussion with his passenger about it.
Since it was quite a busy intersection, there were dozens of car backed up at the intersection. And again, I had to use my air horn to rectify the situation, and woke those morons up from their fantasy style driving…

Incident 3 :
I was driving along a straight stretch of trunk road, on my way to drop off Emily to work. There was this particular section of the road where there was a nasi lemak stall operated by the roadside.
That was why the bike in front of my car stopped, I think – checking out his breakfast on display. No indicator, no brake light, no nothing. The bike stopped dead in the middle of the road. Like ‘Incident 2′ above, I could have thought that the bike had broken down or something. But the young rider did not even budge from his riding position. The guy was just looking to his east, eyeing on a few packets of nasi fucking lemak (or perhaps some factory chicks’ handbags?).
Not wanting to be late for work, I caressed the rider’s soul with my air horn… and he reflexed by catapulting to the roadside, followed by another lagged respond by waving his fist in the air… as I saw him disappear in my rear view mirror…

*****

I don’t know what is with these people with stunted ability to think. Bad food? Bad education? No fucking idea. Maybe it’s just inherent in them or whatever the reason is.

But what I definitely know, is that these people walk amongst us in the society like any normal person, and there is no way to distinguish them apart (which is kinda scary when you think about it). But once they’re behind the wheels of a vehicle (or operate anything that moves), you’ll be able to tell – that they have the “rempit syndrome” – best defined as the kind of people that may be physically advanced along with time, but mentally still in the very primitive form. Goddamn.

I hope our astronaut doesn’t jack off in the rocket to see what effect the gravity has on his cum…

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16 Comments to “the rempit syndrome”

  1. WristBandMan says:

    I guess I’ll have to get an air horn for my car as well.
    It’s the ones that sound like coming from a huge truck right?

  2. cocotomcat says:

    Totally agree with you. Some people do change their behaviour when they reached behind the wheels. I’m not sure it is because of the “rempit syndrome” or not but it does affect on other vehicle drivers causing harm, sometimes.

    Really pissed of with those damn retards!

  3. Jase Lee says:

    You made me want to install the baddest air horn to blow these suckers off to hell…

  4. bongkersz says:

    this country is so full of them. i wonder why? thank god for the air horn. but i don’t like honking, still i think we don’t have a choice heh? honk the fark out of them. is there any solution to this? idiots are not allowed to be on the road or even in public. hazardous.

  5. toothless says:

    after years of driving… i only used my honk once (just happened last 2 weeks).. on a rempit guy who insanely ramp into my front light while trying to overtake me during a rainy day.. my car suffer minor scratches and the mat rempit went for a roller coaster ride..

  6. Dr. Tan says:

    I miss my 4X4

  7. Zer0 says:

    Really don’t know whats their problem. Hate it when they are at fault they react like its mine. Especially when i spared them the honk. I guess they just want to see the finger badly.

  8. Little Ray says:

    You should really show us your version of the Finger. Maybe put it up as your blog banner or something. Heh.

    toothless: Roller coaster ride? You shoulda recorded it! ;)

  9. MT says:

    No offense meant to anyone ya…

    I notice something else very common on the roads here… People with blinkers.

    Firstly, a blinker is this thing that’s put on racehorses to block their side vision so that the only see straight ahead and thus not get distracted.

    Now, it may be just me but, sometime I notice these “tudungs” driving their Kancils/ Kelisas in a manner that suggests they have blinkers on. And when I do pass them, lo and behold! I am right! The sides of their tudung is pulled so far in front that they have no stereo vision!

    That and no signalling to switch lanes/ turn…. DEADLY!

  10. rzmie says:

    last several nights, there was a car..i think it is iswara..the road was clogged with car because of the traffic light. quiet suddenly, i heard ambulance siren from somewhere..i look for it (just in case i need to give the way for the ambulance) but nothing..

    lo and behold..the siren actually come from the stupid iswara..after got horn blast from me and several other road users, he stop sounding the siren..

    i noticed that several cars in Penang already installed the siren on their car..maybe they think they can impressed people with it..

  11. michaelooi says:

    WristBandMan – No dude. I wish I can install that. Mine’s just a twin Hella air horn… but it’s loud enough.

    cocotomcat – It’s beyond the word ‘piss’ can describe.

    jase lee – What’s holding you back lah? Go get it done already!

    bongkersz – I don’t like honking either. But I have to do it sometimes.

    toothless – You only used your horn once? Wow. Salute you man.

    DrTan – I dream of owning a 4×4. *sigh*

    Zer0 – Always select your target carefully before you finger dude. There are fuckloads of dangerous people out there.

    Little Ray – My version of The Finger – here

    MT – Could be a factor… but probably insignificant. I’ve seen Chinese / Indian chicks without tudung that drive like they have a big ass ‘blinker’ (never heard of this before, thanks)

    rzmie – They just want to be cool I guess… those fucking retards.

  12. anas says:

    hm, instead of installing bad ass horns, why not install a PA system? shouting profanities at road retards is more therapeutic, and satisfaction guaranteed…imagine shouting “woi p**imak, nak masuk, bagi la signal, BODOH!!” with the PA at full blast…hahaha

  13. michaelooi says:

    Yeah, i think someone suggested before in this blog. A PA system… just like that old newspaper van.

    “HOII pukimak cheebye hangpa kaliampun! Jalanlah tunggu apa lagi??”

  14. Jasmine says:

    So farny… lol… I like the PA system comments…. Anyway, it’s not the clever ppl that your are afraid of… it’s the stupid ones… lol…

  15. bongkersz says:

    that will be fun lol.. not against the law right to pasang PA system :D should seriously consider doing that bwahahaha!

  16. zewt says:

    we all have our moments with these urukhais… trust me…. it could have been much worse… i was unfortunate enough to experience that.

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