Something magical happened to me during the weekend. I was standing on the balcony catching some breeze when suddenly, this beautiful bird appeared out of nowhere and stood right next to where I was standing… which made me felt kinda astounded - because you know, birds aren’t normally that bold.

I thought, maybe for some weird reasons, this bird wanted to be friendly to me, and maybe it wanted to be my pet or something like that. Not wanting to be rude, I extended out my index finger and invited it to perch on… and you know what? It actually flew up and perched on my index finger - pretty much like what you see in those goddamn fairytale cartoons! Like, how many of you actually experienced something as awesome as this?

What’s even more bizarre was, the bird then started to sing… and before long, the rest of its members appeared and I suddenly found myself being surrounded by motherfucking load of birds that was all over the fucking place and…

Alright, I made up the story above. This suicidal bird actually flew into my balcony glass door and got knocked out cold. This was the second time it did that. Not sure if it was the same bird but, it was definitely the same TYPE of bird.

The first time it happened, bird didn’t lose consciousness but kinda stoned from concussion. I caught it up and released it after letting it rest for a while.

This time however, the bird got a little bit more messed up. It regained consciousness after a very short while, but it never got its shit back together again. I reckoned that its brain could have sustained permanent damage or something. Couldn’t even use it to control its sphincter because it was shitting all over my balcony. I made sure that it was sober enough to flap its wings and tossed it out of the balcony - which she (assuming that its a ’she’ bird, as I didn’t see any dick dangling under that birdie crotch) ungracefully glided into a shapeshifter’s arms at the garden below - which I then saw her being brought away into a dark corner somewhere and disappeared out of sight. No idea what happened to the bird after that.

But that was of secondary concern. The main concern for me was, I had a close encounter with a live bird. A live suicidal bird in fact. Why was it suicidal? Could it be that she had found out that she has a terminal stage breast cancer? Or even worse, somekind of deadly… fluuuuuuuuuuuu? That was why I spent the next half hour sterilizing my whole fucking balcony with Lysol… and gave myself a good scrub with an antiseptic soap. Had to clean my darn camera as well… I’m not taking any chances. (if you’re not already aware about the H5N1 virus infection, read this)

Weird things happen to me all the time. Sheesh