don’t expect too much from your children
Emily ‘celebrated’ her first Mother’s Day today. It was nothing sort of extraordinary. We didn’t have any special meals, nor did we go all out to hog the public road and wanting to be seen. It was just another normal day for her (us).
The lack of enthusiasm can be best attributed to this - we didn’t give a shit about it. And maybe part of it could also be due to the fact Regine was too little to acknowledge the significance of this day. But then, even if she does and chose to ‘didn’t give a shit about it’ (like me), it wouldn’t have mattered to us (me).
However, for some, stuff like this could mean a big difference between two different sides of the ‘filial piety’ line. Whatever that their children did for them on Mother’s Day (or Father’s Day), it would become the gating criteria between good and evil. They would overlook every other things, but hope on the big one - that their children would reciprocate their love through material means. To them, raising a family is like an investment. They think by sowing some shitty efforts to raise a child (whom they’d fondly refer as ’sacrifice’), they can get a guarantee of a good retirement (to improve the odds, they raise more children). And when they fail to get what they want eventually, they would whine and lament about their ill fated life and tell everyone about it.
Well, I don’t know if it’s just me but, I think that’s just plain wrong. In my opinion, the last thing you should ever expect, is your children reciprocating your love. Raising a child is not an investment or a ’sacrifice’ (sacrifice is WAY MUCH MORE than that). It’s something that we multi-celled organism do biologically to populate the world. The animals do it all the time, and do you see them sitting there waiting all day long for their offspring to feed their sorry ass? No. But we humans do it differently. We raise our children in hope that they’d repay what has been given to them. This is so fucking wrong.
To me, this is the kind of thought that makes us weak. People put too much hope on their children, that they start to disregard their own well being. They would settle comfortably at the shady illusion that the last of their days will seen off peacefully by their children. That’s bad judgment dude, as the saying goes - “don’t put all your eggs in the same basket”. That’s why we see so many old people end up finishing their days at old folks home (but then, not that it’s a bad thing when you get to hang out with people your age). They’re too dependent on their children. I think we should change that.
I raise my Regine without any expectations for her to repay what we have given to her. The only expectation I have, is to grow old feeding my own self and Emily. Of course, Regine can repay my love out of her own will, but that’s not really a requirement. To raise her as my child, is my responsibility. To lead an honest life without having her old parents encumber her from reaching her dreams, is her prerogative. I made the choice to bring her into this world through a spasm of orgasmic spurt, but she on the other hand, didn’t make that choice to be my child. That’s the raw deal. If you think that this is unfair and unjustified, well… fuck safe. Practice birth control. Wear a condom or something. Don’t fucking have any kids. If you want to have kids, you should raise them up unconditionally.
Just remember to think for yourself. Haul your lardy ass up from the couch and have a plan before you grow old.
Happy Mother’s Day people.
