May 29, 2007

does your tint allow adequate light penetration?

One of the headlines in our local news site yesterday:

“New crackdown soon on tinted vehicles”

If you haven’t already read that news article, well, the main idea of the whole thing is – the government is gonna go all out against you motherfuckers out there who abetted the aliens’ evil plot to take over the country/world by tinting your vehicles.


Fuck shit if you’re not scared the daylights out of yourselves already.

So what’s this all about really? Or shall I say, is that all necessary? Why heavily tinted vehicles become such an important agenda for our government all of a sudden? To divert our attention from the leaking Parliament roof? Apparently, not.

“Heavily-tinted windscreens and windows can pose a hazard to other road-users, especially during rainy days or at night” – one of the big shots was quoted saying.

I was like, Wow, that’s something scientific that we could use to add into our goldfish-equivalent knowledge. Thou shalt not tint your ride until you can’t see through your windscreen/window. Riiiggghttt.

To make you people believe that they mean business this time, they alleged that they have imported 150 units of tint checking doohickey from Australia for 1 million bucks (with that sum of money, I can buy enough education for the MP’s in our Parliament to have a more refined behavior) – a machine that’s capable to measure light penetration through your vehicle tint, day and night. Those who get caught, will be made to pay a hefty fine of 300 bucks.

Now that’s gonna burn a hole in our pocket. All that for a decent purpose of wanting to cut the cancer causing UV and IR from messing up with our skin. They (the government) would rather let us die of skin cancer and prickly heats than looking as cool in tint as their Yang Berhormats that scoot around the city at sub-sonic speed with police escorts… They’re all out to make us look as uncool as possible. We’re needless to say, fucked.

That’s why I came up with this method to verify our tints – whether or not it allows enough light penetration into our vehicles. You know, better act fast before too late. 300 bucks are not easy to get by. (Elliot has to get anal-fucked by 300 Banglas, or the same Bangla for 300 times, to pony up that amount of cash…)

Here’s what you can do to determine if your tint’s ok and to potentially save that 300 bucks :

1) identify a ghetto or gangster spot in the city.
2) look for a specific bunch of gangsters hanging out in the open.
3) drive by in front of them.
4) wind up all your windows (if not already wound up)
5) honk to beckon for attention
6) flip those gangsters a bird.

If your car tint has adequate ‘light penetration’, you’d get those gangsters hot on pursuit behind your ass. Enough light penetration means, they can see your ‘bird’. See?

(I flipped a bird at an Indian truck driver last week, he almost got a stroke from fuming too hot over my ‘bird’. My car tint is safe. No issue.)

If they’re not reacting to anything, it’s time to get your windows/windscreen re-tinted.

Alternately, if you’re a chick, you can opt to drive around town in nude. If your tint has adequate light penetration, a lot of guys will give you a wolf-whistle or honk (or puke if you look like a walking clinical waste).

If no reaction is garnered from the exposure, then you know lah – your car needs a new tint job.

You’re most welcome.

michaelooi  | enlightenments  | 

17 Comments to “does your tint allow adequate light penetration?”

  1. wings says:

    hahah nicely written, yea i also dont see a god damn reason why the government pays so much attention to heavy tinted vehicles. they should pay attention to something else more important.

  2. mikelee says:

    In my opinion, government should have used that 1 million bucks to fix the condition of roads around Klang Valley instead of that Aussie machines.

  3. littleComma says:

    I didn’t drive around in nude, I didn’t show anyone a ‘bird’ … I merely waved at my friends. They had to squint their eyes to see whether is there anyone in the car? Geezz … habis lar me.

    However, there’s still a workaround. Wind down all the windows when you see a policeman. :)

  4. Little Ray says:

    “If no reaction is garnered from the exposure, then you know lah – your car needs a new tint job.”

    I think it may also depend on the attractiveness of the chick =P

  5. xTr3me says:

    wow. nice tips man. i agree with you on that education thing. they shud spend their money on something useful like education or charity, anything that could improve the country instead of this crap shit stuff. bloody idiots.

  6. Zer0 says:

    I’m one of those who HAD extremely dark tints. Don’t see what’s the big deal. Police can’t issue a summon on the spot. Gotta bring you back to the station to “check” So………. *ahem*

    But..if you got caught by the jpj department, that’s a whole different story.

    “Heavily-tinted windscreens and windows can pose a hazard to other road-users, especially during rainy days or at night” – er..did the big shot said how?

  7. Sometimes the government means well, but in doing so, they usually act like a fat, indignant fool. According to RACV:

    window tinting can reduce a driver’s visibility in certain driving environments. So that’s what the minister meant. Just say lah, reduce the visibility and provide some expert to talk cock about the subject a bit.

  8. like that also can?? like that everyone is going to puke if i ever decide to use your method..

  9. anas says:

    “Heavily-tinted windscreens and windows can pose a hazard to other road-users, especially during rainy days or at night” …hmm, then the big shots with heavily tinted windows are also a hazard to other road users then.

  10. michaelooi says:

    wings – Yeah, like improving our traffic condition…

    mikelee – True true… mend more potholes, hire less assholes.

    littlecomma – Better change your tint, babe.

    little ray – That’s why I covered the ‘puke’ portion.

    xTr3me – They’ve already got a raise maa right? But not enough I guess.

    Zer0 – How? Cannot see lah, how else.

    unladen swallow – Shouldn’t be much of an issue. Visibility can be very subjective. Doesn’t have to be due to tinting problem (short sightedness? astigmatism? cheap ass sunglasses? cataracts? poor lighting condition? etc)

    lotsofcravings – Self deprecation is a sign of awesomeness. It’s a good thing.

    anas – They’re exempted because their drivers have bionic vision to see through anything.

  11. Rynical says:

    The only little ‘upside’ I can see in this tinted windows crackdown is that cars would appear less fishy :P So if anyone’s being kidnapped or something we could spot it immediately haha.

  12. Dr. Tan says:

    Well our pupils can (opposite of dilate), fuck i forgot.

    Anyway, it can. Anyway, I prefer wearing my sunglasses when its raining. Reduces the reflections from the water droplets on the windscreen

  13. jusoh says:

    based on the RACV’s website, tinted window cannot help much on these glare, UV, cancer (uhuk! uhuk!) and air-cond cooling problems.

    so, why in the hell I have spent quite a lot of money on tinting my car window at the first place? @*$%!!! kena tipu bulat-bulat from the tinting window shop !

    “A desire to increase the aesthetic appearance of their vehicle?” then again my car window is not tinted dark enough to make it look differently, what a waste!

  14. michaelooi says:

    rynical – Now that they’re easier to be seen, the kidnappers would resort to clubbing their victims blackout and transport them in the trunk instead…

    dr.tan – You mean constrict? Yeah, my eyes came with that function too. Ahaks

    jusoh – By reducing light penetration, you’re technically reducing UV and IR as well. But then, of course all these will not prevent you from getting cancer… because you don’t hide inside your car all the time maa, right?

  15. TiBuN says:

    You know, now that you mention, many developed countries allowed heavy tinted window like for example, Taiwan and Singapore; heck, even Thailand have no tint limitation.

    So I really don’t know why Malaysia have to be such a pain to force us to buy V-cool type tint (RM1.8k above) just to prevent ourself from getting cancer.

    and btw, for your last statement, I think the size of the breast will play a role in determine the respond from the public :P

  16. yy says:

    UK is cracking down on tinted windows too, so maybe malaysia is just following their lead.

  17. Paul Tan says:

    I did something really stupid. I tinted my car. Only to find out my PDA with GPS cannot receive GPS signals in the car anymore.

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