May 15, 2007


I wanted to borrow something from Mojo Jojo

Me : “Dude, do you have some Kapton tape here that I can use?”

Mojo Jojo : “Oh sure. It’s right over there, on that koshtek.”

Me : “I’m sorry, what??”

Mojo Jojo : “. You know koshtek?” [point point]

He was pointing at a tape dispenser loaded with roll of Kapton tape…

Me : “Fuck! You call that thing a koshtek???”

Mojo Jojo : “Yeah, koshtek. I thought everyone knows that…”

Me : “For fuck’s sake dude, that thing is called a ‘tape dispenser’, not koshtek!”

Mojo Jojo : “Huh?”

Me : “The name is actually ‘Scotch tape’. Not koshtek. ‘Scotch’ is a brand name for cellophane tape. People like to call cellophane tape as ‘Scotch tape’ because the brand name is well established… just like what people would call plastic containers as ‘Tupperware’. Got it?”

Mojo Jojo : [sheepish grin] “Eheheh… thanks for the info.”

I was needless to say, baffled, to the depth of my soul. Like, how did Mojo Jojo :

a) get his engineering degree from USA?
b) get fucking hired as an engineer?

I took my leave after that, still unable to boot back into reality… but not before removing that roll of Kapton tape from his koshtek (now if that doesn’t sound obscene to you…)

michaelooi  | dialogs  | 

25 Comments to “koshtek”

  1. anas says:

    heheh, that does sound obscene…

  2. Unladen Swallow says:

    If they can say things like fanny and wog, they sure as hell can learn things like koshtek. ‘sides, he got his degree from the States. THE United States! They’re crazier than we are over there!

  3. bongkersz says:

    i ingat kotek tadi… isk isk..

  4. michaelooi says:

    anas – Yeah, I thought he cussed the first time I heard it… kausai…

    unladen swallow – Americans are wacky, there’s no doubt about that. But are they stupid? That, I’m not so sure… being the inventor of internet and all that (internet is the most awesome invention EVARRR)

    bongkersz – If he put the Kapton tape on his kotek, I would have opted to kick it instead of ‘borrowing’ it… ahaks.

  5. CHOW FC says:

    OMG! Slap him quick! Before he spawns more!

    A Scotch tape is a Scotch tape!!!

  6. MT says:

    Biasa la… Some other stuff that people commonly call by other names or brand names:

    1. Engine oil = Black oil… I guess when it comes out its black la, but when you pour it into the engine, its not black is it?

    2. Nitrous oxide = NOS… NOS is a brand! Its Nitrous Oxide Systems.

    3. Correction fluid = Liquid Paper… Once again, its a product brand!

    4. Evaoprated milk = Ideal milk… A brand!

  7. Little Ray says:

    Er, gonna ask a stupid question – what’s Kapton tape? I presume it’s a cellophane tape(?)

  8. Silencers says:

    I went through this kind of shit in primary school. Friends who wanted to borrow my rubber eraser would go “Wey, aku nak mintak raba kau kejap.” WTF.

    Perhaps”pemadam” was a mouthful. to them.

  9. Tim says:

    Engineering degree from US and he’s that stupid? How do you think this works? Shud be someone else replacing him there. Wat a dumbass. He’s just taking away someone else’s rightful spot as an engineer. Management shud bloody sack people like this…

  10. michaelooi says:

    chow fc – Hmmm, I don’t know if a tight slap would actually sterilize that ape…

    MT – He’s calling a tape dispenser koshtek… and you think it’s biasa? This is like calling a dog ‘tits’.

    little ray – Lazy to explain dude, read it here –

    silencers – If that comes from a hot girl, you’d let her raba jugak… ahaks

    tim – He wouldn’t have been hired in the first place if I’m the manager… *sigh*

  11. Little Ray says:

    And I asked you because I was lazy to search =P

  12. sasha says:

    added with a lil tune of melayu ma

  13. MT says:

    No no… What I mean by “Biasa la” is you and I both know those are all the wrong names to describe those items but no matter how damn much you try to correct these ignorant pricks, they will not change…

    Don’t believe me? Ask one of your colleagues to ask that boob MoJo sometime soon for the Kapton tape. He will surely tell them its at the koshtek.

  14. Zer0 says:

    *chokes*. LMAO. Sounds like some high tech “kotek”

  15. megabigblur says:

    My first thought was actually that “koshtek” was a kind of cat…hard to explain…if you’ve ever read A Clockwork Orange which is a pretty sick and violent novel (but cool!) you’ll understand. “Kotek” in Russian means “pussy”. the exact opposite of BM =D

    Kids say “raba” and “shapna” because “pemadam” and “pengasah pensel” are a pain in the ass, let’s face it. Although I never heard “koshtek”, just “selpin tep”, which you could argue is actually more accurate cos it’s from the generic “cellophane tape” and not a brand name…

    As to the “education in the US” issue, a JPA scholar friend who did civ engineering at CMU says that a lot of scholars tend to cling together & don’t mix with the local students to the point that after four years they still haven’t had much chance to practice English. Seems simiilar here at UW-Madison.

  16. Jase Lee says:

    It’s like hearing customer scolding us for not warning him 30-days before a virus attack. As if we’re Symantec or McAfee.

  17. michaelooi says:

    little ray – That’s an ominous sign that you’re turning into ‘one of them’. You better change that dude

    sasha – That bugger don’t even speak Malay! Believe it!

    MT – So, I should just shrug him off instead of correcting him? Okay, that sounds altruistic…

    ZerO – With some wire bondings in it…

    megabigblur – That figures why he doesn’t even speak elementary level of English. But how lahhh… did he pass his papers if he can’t even differentiate a verb versus a noun? (I just found out, he graduated from Ohio)

    jase – You encountered such customer before dude? THat’s insane man!

  18. MT says:

    NO NO!! Fuck him upside down royally! If you didn’t bang him upside down, what the hell would there be for us to read? :)

  19. Little Ray says:

    One of them eh? I know, I know! =D

  20. Jase Lee says:

    Believe it dude. That MF actually wanted to sue us because we didn’t take responsibility as a manufacturer to warn him of an impending virus attack. Even the legal people was pissed at him. I think they should counter-sue, but who am I to advice them?

  21. Shar says:

    just like a colleague of mine who’s a masters grad from roo-fking Aussie. She speaks with Aussie accent, altho she hails from Ipoh and ony stayed in Aussie for 2 years.
    Anyway, we were at Starbucks and she wanted to taste a bit of my iced chocolate. Her comment: This is Milo, mate! Obviously not chocolate!

    go figure

  22. the drowmage says:

    Haha… . You learnt a whole new word – koshtek.

  23. megabigblur says:

    Anybody who lives overseas for less than 10 years and comes back talking like a Mat Salleh is an total wanker…show-offs. (i’ve been in the US 7 years and i can still speak Manglish wat)

  24. michaelooi says:

    MT – I’ll give you his number, you can go fuck him yourself. (i’m into females, sorry)

    little ray – Good dude, good!

    jase – WOw. That’s like, asking us to predict the next lottery number. Then why lah would we sell computers, right? Might as well rake income through online gambling, lotteries and lucky draws.

    shar – Bunch of pretentious college freaks eh? I’ve seen plenty of them. And I like to terrorize people like them.

    drowmage – Yeah. Somekind of a new word konon… ahaks

    megabigblur – I’d say, even if you’ve lived 10 years there, you’d not totally ‘convert’ to have their accent. I’ve met an Iranian director who lived in the US all his life, but he still speaks like an Iranian.

  25. Feizal says:

    megabigblur – I’ve seen plenty. There’s this 1 girl who went abroad for only six months and you can tell she forces out the American accent like a true American wannabe. On top of which, she has terrible grammar..yup go figure. One classic lempang material right there…

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