One of the headlines in our local news site yesterday:
“New crackdown soon on tinted vehicles”
If you haven’t already read that news article, well, the main idea of the whole thing is – the government is gonna go all out against you motherfuckers out there who abetted the aliens’ evil plot to take over the country/world by tinting your vehicles.
Fuck shit if you’re not scared the daylights out of yourselves already.
So what’s this all about really? Or shall I say, is that all necessary? Why heavily tinted vehicles become such an important agenda for our government all of a sudden? To divert our attention from the leaking Parliament roof? Apparently, not.
“Heavily-tinted windscreens and windows can pose a hazard to other road-users, especially during rainy days or at night” – one of the big shots was quoted saying.
I was like, Wow, that’s something scientific that we could use to add into our goldfish-equivalent knowledge. Thou shalt not tint your ride until you can’t see through your windscreen/window. Riiiggghttt.
To make you people believe that they mean business this time, they alleged that they have imported 150 units of tint checking doohickey from Australia for 1 million bucks (with that sum of money, I can buy enough education for the MP’s in our Parliament to have a more refined behavior) – a machine that’s capable to measure light penetration through your vehicle tint, day and night. Those who get caught, will be made to pay a hefty fine of 300 bucks.
Now that’s gonna burn a hole in our pocket. All that for a decent purpose of wanting to cut the cancer causing UV and IR from messing up with our skin. They (the government) would rather let us die of skin cancer and prickly heats than looking as cool in tint as their Yang Berhormats that scoot around the city at sub-sonic speed with police escorts… They’re all out to make us look as uncool as possible. We’re needless to say, fucked.
That’s why I came up with this method to verify our tints – whether or not it allows enough light penetration into our vehicles. You know, better act fast before too late. 300 bucks are not easy to get by. (Elliot has to get anal-fucked by 300 Banglas, or the same Bangla for 300 times, to pony up that amount of cash…)
Here’s what you can do to determine if your tint’s ok and to potentially save that 300 bucks :
1) identify a ghetto or gangster spot in the city.
2) look for a specific bunch of gangsters hanging out in the open.
3) drive by in front of them.
4) wind up all your windows (if not already wound up)
5) honk to beckon for attention
6) flip those gangsters a bird.
If your car tint has adequate ‘light penetration’, you’d get those gangsters hot on pursuit behind your ass. Enough light penetration means, they can see your ‘bird’. See?
(I flipped a bird at an Indian truck driver last week, he almost got a stroke from fuming too hot over my ‘bird’. My car tint is safe. No issue.)
If they’re not reacting to anything, it’s time to get your windows/windscreen re-tinted.
Alternately, if you’re a chick, you can opt to drive around town in nude. If your tint has adequate light penetration, a lot of guys will give you a wolf-whistle or honk (or puke if you look like a walking clinical waste).
If no reaction is garnered from the exposure, then you know lah – your car needs a new tint job.
You’re most welcome.