Archive for April, 2007

April 4, 2007

part of the payment

I would like to gauge your opinions, people. But before that, you’ll have to read the scenario below first…

There is this guy – ‘Guy A’. He is a very nice and good looking person. (This is actually irrelevant to the story. Just thought some of you girls might want to know that).

One day, ‘Guy A’ called up Citibank to request for an annual fee waiver for his credit card, which he has owned since the dawn of civilizations. But instead of getting what he duly deserved (the credit card annual fee waiver, dumbass), he was made to wait on the phone for 10 over fucking minutes and was bluntly (and rudely) turned down by a quasi-retard female executive with speech impediment.

Feeling really unhappy with the service, ‘Guy A’ decided to fucking cancel the card instead and be done with it. But before he could do that, he would have to pony up the remaining balance he owe to that super-ungrateful bank. So he wrote a check that day. He signed it like it was his divorce paper… full of resentment and hate.

When he was tearing the check slip from the checkbook, he suddenly had an itch inside one of his nostrils. Acting purely on reflex (not that he’s a slob or anything like that…), he shoved his index finger into that itchy nostril and scratched zealously to relieve it. The itch eventually subsided, so he stopped scratching and took out his finger. But to his bedazzlement, out came along with his finger was a rather humongous piece of dried mucus (read: booger). It was so big that he swore he could feel its radioactive rays pricking on his skin.

Because it was still a tad moisty, that piece of booger kinda stuck on his finger. He rolled it a few times to remove the moisture and it gradually turned into a oddly shaped ball. He then tried to get rid of it by flicking it off the balcony, but that stubborn little shit just wouldn’t budge a millimeter from his finger. It appeared that it was not dry enough to be flicked off just yet. He would have to roll a little bit longer… but the radiation of that thing was really icking him a lot, so he had no choice but to go for the alternative disposition option – the ‘smear process’.

‘Smear process’ is quite a simple maneuver – one just have to make that sticky booger to stick on something else instead of his own finger through the process of smearing (eg. dustbin, wash basin, underneath your boss’ desk, colleague’s car)

He looked around for an object to smear on, but unfortunately, he could not find anything that he could use. And then he looked around some more, and finally, he saw that check he wrote to Citibank a couple minutes ago… and the idea struck him – he smeared that sticky big ass booger to the back of the check, enclosed it as part of the payment inside an envelope and mailed it to Citibank.

End of story.

Now, on the scale from 0% to 100%, I would like you to rate ‘Guy A”s act in terms of evilness. With 100% as the most evil, and 0% as the least. And if you would like to also state your opinion about the whole thing, please be my guest.

*This actually occurred to someone I know and he just wanted to find out if this is a violation of the human decorum or something. Nothing serious… (in case you’re wondering, no, I’m not ‘Guy A’. Believe me. Really.)

michaelooi  | experiences  | 44 Comments
April 1, 2007

I’m down

Like a server. Totally cut off from reality.

There has been a spate of troubles in my family lately. No, it’s not my marriage or my kid. It’s my mom. She has been giving me a shit heck of a time and it culminated a few days ago with a quarrel which I can still remember vividly right now. No it’s not about her getting old either. It’s her wild side that has been getting into me ever since I was born (remember what I said about wanting to be an orphan? Yeah…)

I know I’ve been saying positive things about my mom all these while – to the public and friends. But it was just part of the story that I wanted people to know. There’s still a big dark side of her which I did not cover. Not that I want to do it, but I just wanted to vent something today – so that I can remember this most fucked up episode of my life which she has given to me. (gee thanks mom)

Right now, I just want to recuperate from this whole thing. I’m trying set my mind to accept this as part of the whole package of trials and tribulations that come together in this life of mine. Who knows, it could be part of a big puzzle that would piece together the whole picture of a better life in future.

I need a couple more days to get my shits together now.

michaelooi  | personal  | Comments Off