April 24, 2007

‘mad woman’

It was one of my colleagues’ farewell lunch and we’re at this seafood restaurant. About 10 minutes after we were seated, I felt a soft poke on my shoulder. I looked over, it was an old lady with disheveled white hair… showing me a small piece of torn out paper. Written on it, were 4 digits of number. Forgot what the numbers were, but let’s just put it as 5349.

“….. ….. ….. ….. 5349 ….. …..?”

That was all I could make out from what she was trying to say to me. Only the 4-digit number. As you may have noticed, it ended with a question mark. She was actually asking me a question and I had no idea what was it all about. From the way she expressed her face, it was as if I’m gonna fucking regret for the rest of my life if I don’t copy down that lucky 4 digit number from her… for a small fee maybe.

Not quite interested in what she had to offer, I did what I usually do best – I flashed her a friendly smile and said “No thanks”, and turned my attention back to the table. But it didn’t quite end there, for the old lady was still standing right behind me. Again, she asked

“….. ….. ….. ….. 5349 ….. …..?”


I was thinking of maybe to pay her off so that she would leave me alone but, I was also worried that it might make her feel the rush of being bold… you know, like I’m fucking scared of her… which she might then climb up on me and give my ear a blowjob or something. So I decided to be honest with her and react accordingly to whatever that might come from her…

“Errmmm, I’m sorry… but I’m not into 4D gambling, alright?”

She didn’t budge a bit. She just stood there looking at me like she’s expecting something from me. I didn’t know what else to do, and decided to ignore her for good, at the same time hoping that she wouldn’t turn hostile on me.

One of my colleague however, sensed that something was wrong about the whole thing, and decided to investigate further. He kinda listened to the 4D old lady for a couple more times and asked some questions… and after a whole deal lot of understanding later, he found out that she was actually asking if anyone of us on the table owned a car with the registration number ‘5349’ (which to my embarrassment, was completely not about 4D at all). Apparently, that ‘5349’ car was blocking some traffic out there and she wanted the owner to remove it pronto.

Man, I was like, beet fucking red about the whole misunderstanding thing… and I suddenly felt like

a) a jerk
b) putting my head into the toilet bowl and flush (also called a swirlie, by the way…)

I was lucky that the old lady wasn’t some kind of a bad tempered hag or the like of it. She could have yelled “MOVE YOUR FUCKING CAR!!!”, but she chose not to… Instead, she asked softly and politely and got her own ass mistaken as a mad woman trying to solicit 4D lottery number. What an injustice that I had done to her. *repeatedly smacks myself stupid*

Maybe it would have been better for her to yell like she had lost her mind… vandalize the car maybe… (that ‘5349’ car turned out to be my boss’ car…)

michaelooi  | happenings  | 

10 Comments to “‘mad woman’”

  1. littlecomma says:

    hhahahahhaha … this is so hilarious ! hey … put in your picture so that I can imagine how your face was like in red ! *hhahahahha* i can’t stop laughing

  2. Dr. Tan says:

    Hah, if you flush you’ll be doing what you advocate people doing. Relax lah dei.

  3. abubin says:

    I hate inconsiderate assholes who parked their car like the road belongs to their great great grandwhoremother.

  4. meow meow says:

    I think she speak with soft voice, that’s why you didn’t hear what she said!

  5. michaelooi says:

    littlecomma – when my face is red, i look like a stud with an attitude… really…

    abubin – Ermmm it’s not nice to say things like that to my boss. (still need my paycheck lar weh)

    drtan – Doing what?

    meow – Actually, I kinda have a little bit hearing problem… ahaks…

  6. Je5sie says:

    LOL! This is the problem with us, we tend to think the most negative stuff when someone approaches us. Insurance? Donations? Beggar? Sales Person? Just how much money you want from me huh??! This is what we KL-peeps think. So, I don’t blame you. It is ALL normal. =D

  7. sniperberry says:

    Hmmm… so not true. You’re 100% evil! You phony! Disguising as only 62% is sooo unethical. Teehee

  8. megabigblur says:

    This is what the phrase “Sorry, auntie” was invented for.

    (one of these days…i’ll learn to speak chinese)

  9. michaelooi says:

    Je5sie – Yaler, but sometimes, it is good that we listen before we make judgement. My bad…

    sniperberry – Aisehman, you made it sound like I’ve just punched the old lady in the face…

    megabigblur – So it is alright for me to denigrate someone then issue an apology later? Cool.

  10. Dr. Tan says:

    Flushing the head, the swirlie.

    You used to often say “If you don’t know ….. , go flush your head”.

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