mys departments heads talks funnys
My department head came to talk to us today. He sure had a lot of things to talk about. Both coherent and incoherent. Whatever they were, somehow… I just couldn’t get myself to concentrate on his boring sermon. If it’s not about ’strategy’, it’ll be about ‘breakthroughs’, or how important it is for us to ‘work as a team’ and ’synergize’. It’s always about the same fucking shit.
The only thing that I manage to notice about his whole presence was his peculiar way of adding an ’s’ at the end of each and every word that he utters - Like this :
“I am lookings forwards for yours understandings on this issues.”
“For examples, Michaels is a diligence workers.”
“The quicks browns fox jumps overs the lazies dogs”
“Mays the forces be’s withs yous”
It’s kinda funny to me in a way. I almost had a barf-out moment there by myself constructing my own sentences using his quirks… you know, like trying to imagine him having a secretary name Penny… he would have called her “Penis” or something like that… ha ha ha… snort.
Anyways, I’ll be hells ofs a busy mans for the next couples of weeks. Theres ares shitloads of reports pendings, ands on tops of thats, I’ve gots to clears tonnes of my stuffs to gets myselfs readys for my week-long trainings nexts weeks. Postings on this sites wills be intermittents. (nots ons hiatuss buts I wills posts ifs I don’ts gets too tireds afters a day’ss works.)
Hes talks likes Popeyes Thes Sailors Mans.
That reminds me of my lecturer during college….. Function became funksion and Notation becomes Nooo-ta-sion. I made a joke about his “Funksion and Nooo-ta-sion” and he hates me since that day.
did he start shaking his head???
Ummm… Mike… No offense but… You DO do that as well man!
You almost always type “shits.” Its just “shit” without the “s” unless you’re having a case of the shits, which would then lead to a really sore s @ ass….
Hahahaha! Lawak budusssssss!
Anyhooo… Yeah, I know a couple of people who add in an ’s’ behind a lot of words and remove it when it is actualy necessary!
Adrian’s story reminds me of my physics teacher in 2ndary school. He could NEVER pronounce the word “fluctuation” properly.. It ALWAYS came out as “Fucktuations.”
You need to hook him up with a woman who doesn’t know how to use plurals. Then they’ll complement each other.
Eh your boss a bit fatty, botak with pointy hair on both side above the ears?
And you’re the engineer with a tie that’s half erect right? :p
I should start making fun of people with speech impediments too. w00p~!
gatal - Popeye talks like that one meh?
adrian - That’s my boss dude. I cannot make fun of him. *sigh
tyra - No I don’t think he’s on drugs…
MT - No… man, one shit. two shits. three shits. Shit as in problem. Problems. Comprende?
megabigblur - Thai girls. They don’t seem to be able to pronounce anything with ’s’…
auyongtc - No, I’m the cat.
bogan - Only if the person’s not a handicap… if you get my drift…
Mike… Seriously boss, there’s no such thing a “shits.” I get what you mean, as in one problem, many problems… But seriously… If ya use shit in place of the problems, its still one shit, many shit… It’d be someting like this..
He is a piece of shit…
My boss is a fat, retarded, unreasonable arse and all that shit.
Anyhoooo… enough of this Lorna Whiston shit!
I like your blog and the shit you write. So keep up the good shit man! 
MT, how you got it all so wrong. If you’re talking about shit as human waste shit, yes… you’re right. But if you’re talking shit as a slang for boner, or as a metaphor for some trivial stuffs… then no.
I don’t even want to debate about this. Maybe you should read up bit.
Oh and please, don’t bug me anymore about my English… coz I’m fucking sick of it. I am not an English professor to begin with, nor this site is an educational site or some shitssssss like that .
I don’t understand why people would come to my blog and expect me to write a grammar-perfect thesis on virtually everything I write about. This is a personal blog for fuck’s sake! And my mother tongue is Cantonese! And I’m a Chinese! I’ve been living in South East Asia for all my life! If you guys want to read something in English without an iota of grammatical flaw, seriously, stay away from blogs. Go read a law book or something. (what is wrong with you people )
I think your boss must have attended super high intensive training , the effect of such training will mold the attendee’s mind with the following keywords or phrase :
1. paradigm shift
2. thinking outside of the box
3. synergy
4. win-win
5. taking ownership
6. Nothing is impossible
7. *alot more catchy phrases
BTW super high intensive training == SHIT
Mike… Laaaaa…. Jangan la marah! Gua takda correct correct lu pasal English la brudder! Kan gua dah cakap… Fuck dat Lorna Whiston shit! I like your blog man! Perfect English or not, who cares? Chill la homie!
I dont wanna fight with you! I wanna heckle other people with you!
Penny. Penis. LMAO. I can imagine if I had someone talk to me like that all the time I would eventually oh, I don’t know…hire someone to take him out. Noise pollution and all that you know? We could say it was for the betterment of mankind. Heh.