let’s talk about ultraman…
A colleague of mine copied me a full length Ultraman flick a few days ago. It was titled ‘40th anniversary of ultraman’ or something like that. Tried to watch it but, can’t understand 99% of the shits they’re saying. That’s because the whole damn thing was in Japanese. But that’s not really important anyway. It’s Ultraman for fuck’s sake. There’s nothing deep in there. Just pure brainless brawls and kindergarten level mayhem.
Alright, after realizing that it was in Japanese language, I started to skip through the dramas and dive straight into the actions (there was an unbelievable shitload of dramas in this flick. I didn’t know ultramans have feelings… geez)… you know, the wrestling part… I was expecting something different from what I saw 20 over years ago. Maybe a computer animated ultraman or some kickass realistic graphics. But surprisingly, it was all the same. The same rubber suit and the same plastic miniature props all over. Hell, even the fighting looked the same - ultraman kept walloping the plastic monster like how my Regine tosses her ridiculous looking ragdoll onto the floormat and laughed like a jackass (daddy’s trait).
I found myself constantly laughing at it, instead of feeling intrigued - a far departure from my childhood days. I can’t help but think, what was I thinking when I was a kid? How could recycled acts like this could capture my kiddy ass interest over and over again without fail? It has always been the same ultraman and same act, just different monsters. Really…
Now watching the damn thing as an adult, I suddenly see so much ridiculousness and flaws in this whole ultraman realm.
eg.
- how come nobody realizes that the hero never get himself killed everytime his plane or vehicle crashes?
- why would the ultraman choose to wrestle when he can use his zapper to dispatch the rampaging motherfucking monster right at the beginning of the fight?
- if it always take an ultraman to finish off the monster’s ass, why would they need the team of futuristic looking defense squad around? I’ve never seen them kill a monster before…
- the monsters, what are their motives other than destroying buildings and city blocks? (these monsters appear to be able to talk in this movie. I can’t help but think, since there are some intelligence in them, do they ever look into the mirror at any one time and have a moment of self realization that their existence is a big mistake? you know… with the tentacles and odd looks…)
- the ultraman has a blinking LED on his chest - which from my tacit understanding, is an indicator that he’s fucking gonna have a cardiac arrest or something. The big question is, what’s that indication for? Is there another third person, other than the monster and the kid who’s viewing the show, that need to know when the ultraman’s tired? Why lah?
And so on. So many open ends… and yet, these people manage to sustain the whole kid-cheating empire for 40 fucking years.
I felt so retarded for just watching the show… had to switch it off in no time. Kanneh.
Tried to answer some of your questions
- Same reason as why dr. bruce banner never gets killed when his car crashes (esp when the crash is caused by the bad guys). it only gets him pissed enough to turn him into a badass green monster
- Coz ultraman has to accumulate certain level of powers before his zapper becomes effective. ever played the ultraman arcade game ? you have to whack the monster to increase your power until you accumulate enough energy to unleash your zapping photon beam.
- the team of defense squad are “calleh feh”. all shows gotta have them, from kung fu flicks, cop shows, mob shows and comic-turn-movies.
- the single motive of the monsters is to entertain you. they achieve that by going out with a bang. the more dramatic their demise, the more entertained you become (or supposedly).
- i think i saw an episode before where the blinking LED actually sends out a signal to ultraman’s accomplice. forgot what “man” his accomplice is called. but he comes and take over the fight when his pre-decessor is about to die.
I feel the same way with Transformer. Huge fan. I practically bought all the old generation 1 series on DVD and watched it. Then felt kinda retarded with its kiddy storyline. But its still a classic. Same goes with Ultraman.
Too late. You’re dumb-efied redi!!! *jeng jeng jeng* Idiot box recruited their very new member. *hehe*
arkane - So the ultramen already have GSM or long distance wireless technology 40 years ago? wow.
olrt - I liked Transformers too. Not an avid fan, but I did follow the shows on TV when I was a kid. One thing that I didn’t like about Transformers was its disregard about size. You ever noticed Megatron… when the guy transforms into a gun, it sort of became like… so friggin small compared to its original robot form? A few others too…
sniperberry - Yaler, I was retardified, dumbified and fuckified by the idiot box. But how come nobody allows me to park my car on the disabled parking lot? aisehman.
Dude, when we were young, everything was cool. By the way, what’s cool yesteryear is not cool today. Just like when I looked back at my highschool year, I thought I had the smartest hairstyle that time. Now when I look back, I felt like a dork.
i remember when i was small and watching ultraman that has been translated to BeeEm, the monster always sound like a rooster cackling…”kok kok kok kok kok”…hahaha in fact i think all japanese super heroes flick, when translated to BeeEm, the monsters will always sound like a rooster…
same goes with 1966 batman, i dont know it you’ve watched it but it’s a classic
i grew up watching ultraman. lolz..
There is another classic I am looking out: V (TV series). I remembered i was horrified by it when I was young. Bnch of alien reptile pretending to be human. Any body have any lead where I can get them?
Hah, I never watched that actually. Well, I don’t actually remember what stuffs did I watch. By the way, my brother said I’ve been reading too much of you as I’m using words like “stuffs”.
Cheers.
hahahhaha never a big fan of ultraman.
1966 fatman was a classic
I remember V but besides the rat eating and goldfish drink i couldn’t remember anything else.
adrian - Yeah hahah. I was a dork too. Many times. Aaron Kwok mushroom-do… and I even had a mullet once (and it was captured in a friend’s old wedding video). Sheesh…
anas - Ultraman on TV has always been dubbed in BeeEm. Not that it’s a bad thing… I’ve learnt a lot of words through ultraman in BeeEm. Words like ‘pesawat’ and ‘raksasa’. Hahahh
nicholas - Errrmmm I’ve seen the old batman comic but, the TV show was waaaayyyy before I was born… Sorry dude, I’m not in your league…
xTr3me - So you don’t watch anything else? Like your mom or dad or something? (pun intended)
Willdestine / Kevin - Never heard of V. But I can remember myself watching cartoons like “Popeye”, “Inhumanoids”, “Thundercats”, “Silverhawks”, “Robotech” and “Transformers” (I can remember some shitty ones as well, those that I wouldn’t watch at all - “Jem”, “Carebears”, etc)
dr.tan - Reading too much of me is a good thing. Your brother’s missing out something awesome in his life.
haha ultraman!!. Yea..those were classics. They have a family or something. With the father and mother ultramans and all sorts…lol..
well, i had a boring childhood. yeah, i agree with anas. learnt some BeeEm thru ultraman. pesawat, raksasa, bahaya, otromen.