I was waiting for someone with a few colleagues of mine for lunch when I saw something disturbing – an agonizing sight of a fat chick about 30 years of age… kohl rimmed eyes, rebonded straight hair, a face full of what resembled white construction plaster, complemented with a body hugging tight black blouse that accentuated her ridges of blubber out like a (big ass) stick of lotus root… and a pair of taut black pants at the verge of splitting apart from the high tension caused by her super-volume of cellulite and flesh.
I went like “Uggghhhh! What the fuck!” before realizing that she was actually FeiHai (not to be mistaken with the same metaphorical character I created here…), the most talked about person amongst the engineers in my department. ‘Most talked about’ – because of her somehow odd relationship with an ex-colleague of mine named Patrick – who happens to be everyone’s most hated character in Company X.
The time I saw FeiHai plodding her turgid physique out from the employee entrance with a fake gait of catwalk, she was waving to one of my lunch members, exchanged a couple of short greets and then disappeared into a heap nearby. Looking at my colleague, I asked him:
“Dude, was that FeiHai, Patrick’s girlfriend?”
“Yeah, but they’ve broken up recently”
“Really? Good for Patrick then. I mean, look at that fat shit.. omg.”
“You know what? She’s a client of Marie France’s!”
It actually got my jaw dropped onto the floor and my brain reset itself a few times to process that statement with an extreme case of wrong checksum.
“WHAT!? You fucking kidding me? So that was suppose to be the ‘slim’ version of her!?”
“I don’t know man, that was what she’s been telling everyone.”
You heard me right. FeiHai has been telling everyone that she actually paid 20 grands to complete a slimming course at Marie France. For what purpose, I’m not sure. What I’m sure, is that she’s anything but slim.
Maybe it was a case gone wrong…
Maybe she actually slimmed down from the size of a giant landfill…
Maybe she just wanted to brag…
Or maybe it was all a bluff, you know… a desperate bid to mindfuck everyone to think that her obesity was just an illusion… she’s actually a rich good looking supermodel trapped under the skin of a whale from a curse… and she needed someone to rub her dimpled lardy thigh to free her from that terrible curse.
Whatever it is, she could have used some self realization about her physical condition and practiced a little decency (and humility)… instead of making up that Marie France shit to impress her friends – which I think are more inclined to think that she’s stupid (for spending that amount of money for a treatment that yields zero result) instead of being cool.
Weird things that chicks do to fit in the modern society…
Can’t blame them for all the tv shows that brainwashes people on how they need to look good. Slimming centers, beauty centers, hair growth centers, tits restructuring centers, you name it. Mind you, they are not just adverts but actually tv programs sponsored by these companies. Govt should ban these shows instead of banning fast food ads. I mean, what good does these shows bring besides giving you a low self esteem if you can’t afford their expensive treatments and a false sense of achievement like in the case of feihai.
By all means banning those stuffs won’t help a single bit. THey know they want it even if those tvprograms sponsored byt hese companies don’t advertise. Its not against the law to advertise your product and services and it goes through thorough test screenings if am not mistaken here due to the fact being a “religeous” country. They should be banning the people then…lol … and in the case of fei hai hahaha she probably just started only leh mike go ask n see :p… cuz i’ve known a few feipohs that got slimmed down with their fats being allocated to the right parts. …oolala …. i tell you ….back then my lil bro will hide now he’s a tad bit eager to meet them :p
That’s still not so bad! The worst type of ads are the lightening/ fairness inducing creams and shit… Those ads are so damn farking stupid! They take some fucking ugly ass biatch who is as white as a ghost and say she is the epitome of beauty! Or, they will show some chick who is sliiiiightly brown i.e. the colour of most of us, make that bitch whine and shit because apparently some dumb fuck guy didn’t notice her, then make her use some bleaching cream… Then suddenly, the whole goddamn world notices her! Yeeesh!
I have to say this out loud; fat people, PLEASE don’t wear tight/ revealing clothes! You look like fat laden piles of tightly constricted and wrapped up shit! Fuck that excuse of “Its my body, I can do what I want.”
The last skankily dressed fat pig who said that to me got a MEGA dose of the “whale talk.” (watch Finding Nemo)
it would be easier for these people to live their lives if they accept what they are, then other people won’t be disgusted…there’s nothing wrong in trying to look your best, but please try to match your outfits with your body style…hehe my friends and i always find amusement at people who are trying too hard to look hot, regardless of their body size and shape…
I have one working in my office. A whale who wears nothing but mini skirts day to day. Her legs are similar to the legs of a snooker table.
I get nightmares!
Even Marie France advise their clients to have a healthy, balanced diet and exercise. There is only so much slimming machines can ‘aid’ you to loose weight. But sadly, everyone think by paying 20K, they can eat like a pig and look great… NOT!
arkane – It’s the mentality dude. You can ban the ads, but they’d still pick the bad vibes anywhere else if they can’t think straight themselves.
arsky – Like I’ve said before, I have no issue of people being fat. But I have issues of fat people who thinks they’re hot…
MT – Oh the SKII ad eh? Those are just special effects… Hell, if they can use a computer to make dinosaurs walk on TV, they can of course fucking make a black man white without cosmetic surgery… It’s a gyp to rip money off gullible chicks… we all know that.
anas – Some people tried waaaayyy too hard to look hot, that it actually gives out an opposite effect. Ugghhhh
feizal – Snooker table legs ain’t that bad. Feihai’s leg looked like a really big beetle larvae growing out of her ass. It’s so fucking revolting man
bonnie_clyde – Yeah, that’s why everyone’s talking about her stupidity. Paying 20K to buy the virtual confidence, nothing else.
Mike, I know its CGI… But what I’m saying is the impact those ads are making… It makes normal people think its almost a sin to be not one hundred percent pucat white… So they rush out there and buy all those whitening creams and rubbish… I’ve personally seen people coming to my uncle’s dermatology clinic with burned and discoloured skin as a result of the bleach found in whitening creams!
Anyhoooo… this story kinda reminds me of another funny/ weird thing that people do; join a stylo mylo gym and never attend! When you ask them “You in a gym ah?” they will say “Yes! I joined FF and I have a full Passport” or whatever… but if you ask them “How many times workout a week?” they say “Oh I dont go. Have no time la.”
Cibettttttttt….. Join gym for what then?!
MT – Ermmm eerrrrr… ehehhh… I joined a gym once … a couple years ago… been there only like, 2 times… ahaks. My excuse? I’m fucking lazy and I’m peeved with those beefcakes showing off man… o_O
alright, I joined the gym to ease my Plica Syndrome (no, it’s not a form of retardation… read more about it here). That was also why I went for physiotherapy for a period of time, which I’ve first blogged about here.
Hahaha! Reading your entry about your “barbarian” experience reminded me a similar experience of mine. There were a bunch of Middle Eastern twits in the gym I used to go to. they fit 100% into the typical sterotype; hairy, talked loudly, arrogant and most of all, DAMN SMELLY!
These arrogant fuckers liked to strut around the gym and act like they were all dat. One day, their leader, who we all called “Idol” wanted to use the leg press machine. I was there before him but he was still huffing and puffing. I didn’t car and went ahead. First warmed up with 110lbs. He was snickering. I’m sure he thought “Cheh! That’s all this fella can lift.”
Then I went to the proper load of 190lbs. Finished it off with three 220lbs pushes. The fella’s face was priceless! He was not to be outdone! He sat on the machine, put 250 lbs (to outdo me) and let the safety pin go…
He was stuck in the machine until one of his camel jockey friends came to help him… Hahahahaha!!!!!
The gym thing reminds me of the Fitness encounter I had [here]. Of course, there were some boys who acted like they were damn strong and there were some fat chicks jumping up and down, vibrating the whole floor and their flaps were bouncing on and off. But it was more of the “harassment” I got from homosexual.
hmmmm… maybe she’s in some form of delusion or is in denial u know… the fact that she still wears tight fitting clothes albeit exposing her lurrrveee handles go to show that she still thinks she’s a chicko! but clearly (from what u described), she’s a whale! so ya… i’m inclined to think that she’s a little bit psycho… n the marie france she talked about… maybe it’s mary france (MARY) hehehehe, some dunno what slimming center…
You know what? Marie France and all those other slimming salons are just a big conspiracy to keep fat women fat and depressed. ‘Cos if their techniques really worked, they’d be out of clients.
Check out Jocelyn Yik’s great comic on the subject here.