I was doing a withdrawal at the ATM yesterday when suddenly a smartly dressed old man came right up to a machine next to mine. I took notice of him because he had this strong asshole aura around him. From the first look of his attire, I reckoned that he must be either a vice president or a director from a nearby corporation. A ‘winner’ in the society. Like, who else wears a long sleeved shirt in the middle of a hot sweltering afternoon? Either a salesman or top management people like him. (and he’s too frigging old to be a salesman)
Old man looked very focused. He was completely oblivious to everything that was happening around him. He looked like he was cracking his head thinking about some serious work stuff, but his body was in ‘autopilot’ mode – probably a routine which he had been through for so many years that he only requires half of his brain to get them going. And that was when the problem started.
You see, he was using only half of his brain, maybe less… to run his errands. The rest of the resources? Used up by some other important tasks. That was why he didn’t realize that the machine he was trying to use was out-of-order. There was a sign on the screen of the auto-teller machine telling everyone that. I took a snap of the sign with my phone :
sorry for the poor quality. I was doing a walk-by shooting with my phone
As you can see, it was a big ass sign. But old man’s half working brain failed to detect that sign. It was somehow beyond what his half brain power could process. Without suspecting anything, he shoved his card into the machine and the damn thing started to blink like mad. And when he was about to key-in his pin number, then WHAM! His brain bitch-slapped a fatal exception error screen across his vision and he started to panic. MACHINE NOT WORKING MACHINE NOT WORKING!!! He started to clap his hands repeatedly with a wide eyed expression (it was a rather odd reaction… I have to admit)
“SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!” – I could hear him cuss at himself under his breath.
Then he started to frantically press the buttons on the ATM, probably hoping that it would explode inside and spit out his precious card. Miraculously, it actually worked. The machine spat out his card (it didn’t explode if you’re wondering…) and he quickly grabbed it like what he’d do to a tit after being released from a 20 year jail term. He stood there for like 10 or so seconds, apparently unable to believe how screwed up it was of him for failing to see that sign. Man, what if the sign was not a harmless plastic, but a rampaging mad man wielding a cleaver? He’d be minced to pieces like a pig inside a slaughterhouse. What the fuck indeed.
It was then a young lad holding a helmet walked pass where he was standing and saw him pausing there like a stump, and gave him this weird look. Quick thinking old man noticed that, and in a split second, thought of an excuse to redeem his self esteem by thinking out-of-the-box, like what he had uttered millions of times to the bevy of employees under his leadership, and said to the young lad…
“This is not right. They should have covered the card feeder instead… so that people won’t accidentally shove in their card to this defective machine…” [shook his head like a really smart champ]
I was compelled to chide the man “CAN’T YOU FUCKING SEE THE BIG ASS SIGN THERE TELLING YOU IT’S OUT OF ORDER, MORON??”, but then, I didn’t. That’s because Penang is such a small place. Who knows… one day this motherfucker might become my boss or something. I chose not to provoke him…