When I read the plot outline of this movie, I immediately got reminded of a Chinese flick that I watched sometime ago - “The Infernal Affairs” - which was a brilliantly made movie with an all-stars cast. Curious, I wiki-ed “The Departed” and found that it was INDEED the western adaptation of “The Infernal Affairs”. With a little bit of a tweak here and there of course, but the main plot remains the same - a thug undercovers in the police force, and a police undercovers in the thug force - which then, the fate of both undercovers intertwine into a complex plot of betrayal and lies.

So, it is only natural for us who have watched “The Infernal Affairs” to benchmark “The Departed” against the original. For me, I find the original better. “The Departed” seems to be too dense and the storyline’s a bit of a rush. It’s like, cramping the whole fucking lifetime’s worth of storyline into a 150 minutes of celluloid (yes, ironically, it FELT that long). Not that it was bad but, if you’ve seen “Infernal Affairs”, you’d know what the word ‘better’ means. The continuity was a little bit of a mess.

Then comes the cast. I don’t know if it was just me but, I think Matt Damon didn’t carry the character of the villain-rat well enough. That guy literally look more like a retard (though he surprisingly played the Bourne legacy damn well) than anything else. He’s a good actor yes, but he just didn’t have what it takes to play that role. For a complex role like that, you’d need someone that look smarter, you know, nice on the front and super freaking bad behind his veil of deception.

And then, there’s also something about the script. There were too many ‘fucks’ in it. The good and the bad, doesn’t matter who they are, they seem to revolve around the word ‘fuck’ like it was their religion or something. You can almost virtually spot a ‘fuck’ or two in each and every sentence that they utter. It’s like monosodium glutamate in Chinese food. It was so overused that it sounded trite and bland and not that special anymore. Here’s an example :

Dignam : [to a team of police officers inside a meeting] “Ok, my people are out there. They’re like fucking Indians. You’re not gonna see ‘em. You’re not gonna hear about ‘em. Except for me and Captain Queenan. You will not EVER, know the identity of the undercover people. Unfortunately, this shithole has more fucking leads than the Iraqi navy.” [then looks at Ellerby]

Ellerby : “Fuck yourself”

Dignam : “I’m tired from fucking your wife”

Ellerby : “How’s your mother?”

Dignam : “Good, she’s tired from fucking my father”

The script’s pretty much like that the whole length of it. Some of it ridiculous and some downright funny. I’m not even sure how are they going to release it in the cinema - it sure hell going to be a lot of beeps if it ever gets approved for screening.

So, that’s pretty much about it. Just marginally good. Nothing to shout about. I doubt you’re going to see this title in the local shore cinema - so if you haven’t already watched “Infernal Affairs”, go get this DVD or download it from the internet. It has 150 minutes worth of potential to kill your time with - if you don’t have anything to do.

*****

There’s actually one particular quote which I kinda like from Alec Baldwin who played that Ellerby character :

Marriage is an important part of getting ahead. It lets people know you’re not a homo. A married guy seems more stable. People see the ring, they think, “At least somebody can stand the son of a bitch.” Ladies see the ring, they know immediately that you must have some cash, and your cock must work.

How very apt… how very…

Me: “Elliot, the trash is full again…”

Elliot: “Give me a break, ok? Please contact the janitor, not me…”

Me: “You know, you did quite a good job that day. I can see that you’re quite gifted in taking out the trash… maybe you should pursue a career out of it. You have good prospect in that direction…”

Elliot: “No please, leave me alone”

Me: “And you looked very smart when you took out the trash that day. I almost couldn’t recognize you.”

Elliot: [ignore mode]

Me: “You know, when you’re old someday, you don’t have to go for plastic surgeries to look young. You just need to take out the trash, you’d turn smart and young immediately… ain’t that cool? You should take out the trash dude…”

Elliot: [ignore mode]

I just couldn’t get that Jedi mind trick to work on Elliot. That tells me one thing - he doesn’t have a fucking brain.

Have you ever had a hunch that something bad will happen… and it really fucking happened? Well, that happened to me. I mean, not something bad but, the whole deal of having a hunch thing. Almost paranormal, but not yet. (if you’re wondering if I saw an ET like Elliot, no I did not)

I was driving Regine and Emily back to my in-law’s at Perak the other day, and was compelled to keep myself within the speed limit - you know, fatherly obligation… that kind of shit. But that wasn’t the ‘hunch thing’ yet. The ‘hunch thing’ only came somewhere near the straights at Bukit Merah - when I saw this small truck doing an average speed on the inner lane.

At one glance, there was nothing wrong with that truck. The second glance, nothing wrong either. It just looked like another regular truck minding its own business. It wouldn’t have made anyone suspicious of anything. But right there and then, I had that ‘hunch thing’, like something super fucking bad will happen if I overtake that truck. So I subconsciously slowed down… and looked on if I was right or something.

About a few seconds later, it happened. The truck suddenly made a 45 degree diagonal maneuver and headed straight towards the divider on the express lane. I went like “OH MY FUCKING GODDDD THAT TRUCK’S GONNA CRASH!!”. And crash it did. The truck then grated its side against the divider, spraying the road with debris and all. The first thing that crossed my mind, was that the driver might have suffered a heart attack and went kamikaze into the steel divider. But that suspicion was quickly dismissed when the truck somehow managed to swerve back into the inner lane after chafing the divider for about 50 meters, and drove on like nothing happened. So it had to be only one thing - falling asleep behind the wheel. And I was right about that - confirmed it when I later overtook the truck and saw that horrifying sight - a drowsy driver with swollen eyes and drooping head almost touching the steering wheel. Goddamn!

I was thinking, had it not been that ‘hunch thing’, I probably would have crashed into that motherfucker. And it would have been worse if I had sped. (I normally would do 130 - 150kph before Regine (BR)). The thought of the possibilities alone would make my bunghole pucker. Sheesh.

So people, lesson learnt here - Always be aware of your surroundings when you’re driving, especially on straight boring highways. People may just fall asleep and ruin your shit out of the blues, without you even realizing it. It doesn’t matter if you drive the safest car around. Once you speed and crash into the back of a truck, the result’s always the same - you’re fucked. I was lucky to have that hunch and ended up with a close shave instead of an accident. But not all people are as lucky as me all the time. You’ve got to just take care.

Title: Regine’s first experience with a computer keyboard.
Date: 06 February 2007.
Time: 2011 hours.
Hardware: Dell Inspiron 700m 1.8GHz 512MB.
Application: Microsoft Office Outlook 2003 SP2
Location: Daddy’s lap, in front of the dining table

Content:

cccc———–;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/3S

bbbbhhb rr 7 hh qzxqawf

Doesn’t make a lot of sense but, it’s a good start. *nods slowly*

I overheard Elliot told the boss that he saw a UFO (or something like that) just now. (he also added stuffs like karma, and all those zen shits in it. Didn’t quite get the whole detail)

I was like… oh my fucking god!! Who the fuck tell their boss about things like this? Like, of all people, your bosss?? Really?? maaaaannnnnn you’ve got to be fucking shitting me!

Believing in UFO is one thing, but with whom you share that belief with… is another. Oh my fucking god really… I’m so absofuckinglutely stupefied right fucking now.