January 30, 2007

am I right or what?

Last week, the CEO of Company X visited our Malaysian plant. Not sure what was his agenda, but it sure got the local folks here really excited. In just a short period of time, both the Company X premises were literally transformed into a completely different place. The building(s) washed, walls and floors painted, the cubes were decorated with colorful posters and there were even a few areas transformed into showrooms of some kind. Employees on the other hand, were asked to tidy up their workplace so that it wouldn’t sore Mr.CEO’s eyes – you know, the whole package of it to ensure that everything was as perfect as the CEO was made to perceive.

I was like ‘DUHHHHHH’. Are all these… like, really necessary? I wonder if it’s only me that is having a different kind of thoughts about all these but, shouldn’t we… they… be doing the opposite instead?

Eg.
– instead of painting the building, the management should be spraying water on the building(s) to promote the growth of fungi and kudzu. So that we’d get more budget to repaint the building.
– instead of cleaning up the office floor, the employees should make a mess out of their work desks to let Mr.CEO see that they’ve been working so hard that they barely have time to clean up. (that’s how work desks should look like, anyway…)

The fact is, everyone who works in Company X here is a wage earner. I’m sure Mr.CEO would very much interested to know how well he has been spending his money paying for all these mongoloids here as part of his money-making empire. So, what do you reckon he would think when he sees everyone has a squeaky clean desk and are idling by the hall to welcome him like he has just been released from prison?

If I were to be him, I’d sure be piss-mad. I’ll probably give a big smack on the table and shout out loud:

“WHY ARE YOUR DESKS SO CLEAN!?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN DOING???? SITTING AROUND WIPING TABLES???”

Yeah, and I’d complain about the waste of funds allocated to paint the building too.

“IS PAINTING THE BUILDING GOING TO MAKE YOU IMPROVE YOUR PRODUCTIVITY?!?”

The banners, posters and stage hoo-hahs.

“If I want to have a good time, I’d be visiting a NIGHT CLUB!!! WHY WOULD I NEED YOU TO SPEND MY MONEY ON THOSE GAUDY BANNERS, WELCOMING MYSELF, TO MY OWN PREMISES???”

Things that I couldn’t get myself to understand, man. Those guys are sure lucky that the CEO doesn’t think like me… or should I say, they’re lucky that I’m not their CEO? Fucking hell.

I strongly believe that’s why our increments and bonusses are getting less each year. The CEO just couldn’t see the need of increasing the budget for a bunch of people splurging unnecessarily for the organization.

*****

You can give yourself a test here.

Say you’re somebody’s boss. 2 of your employees come into your office one day to ask for a raise. Both claim to be in dire need for a raise to support their family.
– Employee#1 rides a rundown scooter to work.
– Employee#2 drives the latest edition of Audi A6 and he also has a brand new Seamaster on his wrist.

Who do you think – between Employee#1 and Employee#2 – deserves the raise more?

michaelooi  | work shit  | 

24 Comments to “am I right or what?”

  1. I totally agree you, the CEO of company X or the likes do not give a toss about new painting, shiny welcome banners, or tidy desks. In fact, like you said, he only cares if the branch is efficient, cost-effective, and productive. Plus, people working at company X-kind of companies DO NOT have clean cubicles…it’s a requirement your desk looks like a mess. For example, my company’s big boss RM (coincidentally) comes to our corp HQ a lot lately, and I ain’t see no banner, red carpet, or new paint. Business as usual. I think your CEO at Penang is very Chinese, typical Chinese. ;)

  2. Din says:

    Obviously, neither.

    Employee #1 needs a better job.

    Employee #2 needs to be bloody investigated.

    Am I right or what?

  3. michaelooi says:

    RM – That CEO happens to be an angmoh

    Din – Dude, you missed my point. Read again. And also, you didn’t answer the question – I didn’t ask what to do with both of them. I asked who deserves the raise more. The answer should be, either Employee#1 or #2… it’s that simple.

  4. Zer0 says:

    Is that a trick question? Erm employee #1 because #2 doesn’t look like he has any problems raising a family.

  5. Little Ray says:

    Fuck that. Easy answer, #1. How can it be a trick question? But if there’s an employee #3 who takes a bus to work, it’ll be rightfully his/hers.

  6. MT says:

    I’d give it to Employee #2. Reason being, the fella has shown that he has managed to buy a nice car and watch even with the shitty money I’ve been giving him. So that means he’s a good worker who knows how to make the best of his money and time.

    As for employee#1, I’d tell that slacker ma’fucker to buck up or risk getting my boot up his ass pretty damn soon!

  7. WX says:

    I’d say #1 deserves the raise.

  8. teddseven says:

    michael this is my opinion :

    employee #1 : keeps his stash of money at home and borrows the neighbours’ rundown scooter to work.. doesnt deserve a pay raise

    employee #2 : uses his money to buy all those expensive stuff to show off.. but then side effects : hutang all over… : deserves a pay raise to support his expensive taste..

    hahahah but actually in my opinion : neither of them deserve it but ME!!! MUAHAHAHAH

  9. cmos says:

    Whadafak is employee #2 still workin for???

  10. michaelooi says:

    That question there was not meant to be answered. It was meant to promote critical thinking. i.e, “if you want to beckon for my sympathy, you’ve got to look sad enough.” or perhaps in this case, “if you want to ask me for money, you’ve got to look convincingly poor enough…” – get my point now?

    (as for who deserves the raise, it doesn’t matter. In the real corporate world, it’s always the one who knows how to play golf that gets it.)

  11. Shar says:

    I miss Company X!
    In Company ABC that I am in now, they have this clean desk policy. NOTHING shld be on your table except for the fking phone. Not that I am a stupid, Jay Chou loving bitch who ‘decorates’ her cubicle with dried flowers, teddy bears and poster and crap, but I love leaving papers ard and sticking reminders.

    Personally I think it’s stupid when they ask us to clean up the desk before arrival of company’s big shots. Like Michael says, if I were them, I would want to see sleeping bags and shitloads of coffee cups strewn ard. And employees shld all smell like they have been taking showers from the company’s toilet. Cos that’s what they shld do instead of going home.

  12. TiBuN says:

    Maybe it’s true, but then again it could be because of the upper management want to lift the image of company X in Penang, hence allocated the budget to perform the makeover?
    Imagine the CEO come down and see a deplorable state of company X in Penang, maybe because of this he diverted some of the business oppurtunity elsewhere?

    Worse is maybe CEO come and see all the fungi and old paint, he say “I allocated 3 million dollar for you guys to upkeep the facility and this is all you can do?”…. we never know.

  13. Sasha says:

    i think they shud use the money and give Mike Big bonus. Hahaha

  14. Shar says:

    TiBun – the budget could be better allocated to do something about the bloody parking condition in Company X. Also the security. My old tag still can get me in.

  15. eric says:

    In all multinational co. offices it’s like that lar. Every year some big shot (CEO, regional VP, etc) will make a visit to each country office & the local management will hoo-hah to clean up all & sundry. Wanna look clean & efficient mah. Add posters, potted plants, some tacky slogans at the entry & whatever they can come up with.

    I could never keep my own cubicle neat but still am efficient, what!

    Agree with Shar. If I’m the big boss seeing all this neatness & tidiness, I’d be wondering if the guys in the branch were really working their ass off, for all the fat salaries I’ve been paying them. Better install webcams!

  16. doc says:

    If it were me, I’d be dropping by without prior warning.

  17. michaelooi says:

    tibun – Errr, if someone wants to upkeep the image, there are plenty of ways to do it. But definitely NOT by painting the building ONLY when the CEO comes. You feel me?

    sasha – Fuck YEAH!

    shar – Yeah the parking lot at Site 1 is a hellhole. That’s why I’ve been refraining myself from attending my weekly meetings there.

    eric – That’s what I’ve been saying. If you’re really working your ass off, your desk shouldn’t be that clean.

    doc – It’s really hard to be discreet about your visit when you’re the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company. Sending an undercover would be a better idea (maybe he’s already doing it)

  18. [comment expurgated by siteowner]

    *your comment is gonna reveal where I work ler… I had to expurgate it. Sorry.

  19. bodicea says:

    at first, my heart would feel that Employee #1 deserves the raise more.

    But then again, my logic would reason that with the very reasonable pay I have been feeding them with, how come #1 only chose to use such a distasteful piece of junk?

    and how is it that #2 seems to own these canggih pieces of shit and still bor lui to feed the family?

    so in the end, i’d feel like investigating first.

  20. EinsamSoldat says:

    Employee #2
    1. Needs more money to maintain his/her “needs”.
    2. With a flashy life style its good for maintaining the corporate image.
    3. The way he/she spends will improve local/global economy.

  21. ahmog says:

    I’m surprised the company didn’t request employees to “voluntarily participate” after office hours to sing a new office anthem, wave patriotic company X banners and logos and distribute face masks to hide the other mongolid staff’s ugly faces.

  22. EinsamSoldat says:

    ahmog: Does the company practices facist ideology(ies) ? This is real scary…

  23. michaelooi says:

    bodicea / einsam – In the real world, there are indeed such people. Employee that has chicken ass low pay, but somehow able to live a luxury lifestyle. How? I don’t exactly know… but I reckon it must be those direct selling or insurance shits. (eg. Production operator who earns less than 1K per month driving an 80K car to work…).

    So, given a choice, I’d give Employee #1 the raise. At least I know that guy doesn’t have a part-time income and the raise will become his sole motivation factor for the company. As for Employee #2, who gives a crap about him… he’s already so well-off. As long as he does his work, he will be ignored. And if he does a mistake, I’m gonna axe him out.

    ahmog – They did. Those guys actually sang the company anthem and they waved their hands in unison. (but they didn’t wear masks though)

    einsam – That’s definitely not fascism. Just generic case of sycophantic act. (you’ll see that a lot at large corporations…)

  24. megabigblur says:

    Say you’re somebody’s boss. 2 of your employees come into your office one day to ask for a raise. Both claim to be in dire need for a raise to support their family.
    – Employee#1 rides a rundown scooter to work.
    – Employee#2 drives the latest edition of Audi A6 and he also has a brand new Seamaster on his wrist.

    I watched the 80s British comedy “Yes, Minister” and was totally shocked at one scene where the minister was taking THE TRAIN home from work. You know, when I see Rafidah Aziz or Samy Vellu or better yet…Najib…on the LRT, then I’ll believe they’re here to serve the people.

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