January 25, 2007

tough guy my ass

I had a showdown with a ‘road bully’ yesterday. A middle aged Indian taxi driver, to be exact. I was making a turn into Company X parking lot when this taxi swerved out of its stationary position and almost collided with my car. I reflexed with honk (as always) and glowered at him (also gave him a ‘palm’ sign…). But instead of being apologetic about his mistake, the Indian driver gesticulated back… as if I was the one who did wrong. Pissed, I responded by stopping my car and we exchanged a few signs – but no confrontation, yet.

So I went on my way back to the building after that… when I saw that Indian taxi driver again. He stopped his taxi near the factory entrance, and appeared to be scoping for my appearance. Having had experiences with a lot of ‘unstable’ types of people before, I jotted down his car registration number on my palm… you know, just in case anything bad were to happen. Indian guy saw me doing that and flagged me over to his car. Apparently, he didn’t like what he saw and chose to confront me instead:

[conversation was actually in both Malay and English, but for convenience’ sake, I’m going to put it all in English]

Indian guy : “Why did you copy down my car registration number??”

Me : “Why can’t I?”

Indian guy : “No… I was asking, why did you copy down my car registration number??”

He obviously didn’t hear what I said, or he was too plain dumb to understand it.

Me : “I can copy down anything I want. Even a bull cart’s number if I like. So why not?”

Indian guy : [sniggers] “Alright, alright, go ahead and copy it as you wish” [chuckles]

Me : “Already done that.”

Not wanting the whole thing to end just there, I threw him a very shallow insult

Me : “Say… do you really know how to drive? Do you even have a driving license? I was wondering…”

He caught it.

Indian guy : “Hey! Watch what you say, ok??”

Me : “In case you didn’t realize, you almost hit my car just now. You call that good driving?”

Indian guy : “What? It wasn’t even close! You think I’m blind or something?? I was just waiting for my passenger bla bla bla and was bla bla bla…”

Me : “Yes I do think you’re blind.”

At that moment, he started to speak in a very harsh tone. Like he was trying to intimidate me or something.

Indian guy : “You’re the one who was paranoid… honking and giving me that nasty look!”

Me : “Why… can’t I do that?”

Indian guy : “Did I wreck your car?? No, right??”

Me : “Oh, so I can honk and give you a nasty look ONLY IF you wreck my car? What are you stupid or something?”

Indian guy : “Ma cheebye you!! What did you say???”

[I don’t know why he had to use a Hokkien dialect to vent his anger at me. As if being able to hurl expletives in Hokkien would make him sound more coherent and therefore, justify his fucked up behavior. Hhyeah right.]

Then he got out of his car and acted so very tough like that. But that was not what I really wanted. It’s no glory to beat up a short old man. Besides, I might lose my job for doing that.

Me : “So you’re suppose to be tough huh? Good. Let’s see how tough you are with our security guards.”

Indian guy : “Go lah! You think I’m scared??”

Me : “You bet I am going to. Just stay where you are. And don’t go away

Indian guy : “What can you do to me?? You think I’m stupid aa? Bla bla bla bla ” [inaudible voice as I was walking away to the security post]

Me : “Of course I think you’re stupid! If you’re not stupid, then you wouldn’t have been a taxi driver in the first place.”

If he’s smart or intelligent, he would be preaching some quantum physics theory at a university somewhere, instead of driving a junk around like a motherfucking prick, you know what I’m saying?

And he continued to wave his fist in the air and taunted me but I only responded to his pathetic attempt of heroism with couple retort in his native Tamil language – “Phordahhh!!!” (which meant “Fuck off!” or something)… and it got him madder. (It was fun watching him go apeshit)

I expected him to sustain that identity of a tough Hindustan hero, you know… to hold his stance until his 62% evil adversary return with his villain reinforcements (security guards), but I was wrong. Instead of that, he made a beeline into his taxi (he was more like diving into it) and sped off like a bat flying out of hell. I’ve never seen anyone disappear so fucking fast before.

I stood there dumbfounded and went “Hey! What the fuck?? Where did the tough guy go?”. Tough guy my ass.

But I went to report the incident to the security nevertheless, and got his registration number recorded down. I actually requested to get the taxi company blacklisted from our corporate list, but apparently, the decision has to involve somebody at the ‘higher level’… if you know what I mean. There’s nothing that our security department can do other than giving that chicken ass loser a verbal warning…

Whatever lah.

michaelooi  | happenings  | 

19 Comments to “tough guy my ass”

  1. Little Ray says:

    Hmm, he must be scared shit by you. Very exciting post. Haha.

  2. Arkane says:

    I hate it when bus / taxi / lorry drivers behave in a obnoxious manner. Just because they use the roads more often than us, they think they’re the king of the roads.

  3. n00b says:

    You’re the hero! :)
    I am learning hard to talk like you!

  4. Shar says:

    Cis. I tot halfway u guys were gonna wrestle. Nacho libre style.

  5. michaelooi says:

    little ray – I don’t know if he was scared shitless by me or the daunting thoughts of getting manhandled by the security guards. He didn’t stay long enough to let me find out…

    arkane – Yeah, the long hours of driving must have fucked their brain bad enough to make them behave like ruffians…

    n00b – No lah, I was not the hero. I was the villain who triumphed over the good and get to have that final evil laugh…

    shar – Nah, waste of energy. Like I said, no glory in beating up old people. (a little insult goes a long way in cases like this…)

  6. Pah says:

    A van backed up on me once, at the exit in front of Atria. An uncle driving the van didn’t know how to balance the clutch & accelerator and back up on my car. WTF! My car!!!

    My bf went out to sort things out. Then the uncle kept shaking his head. His passenger came out too. So I went out. I threw phrases like, “Is it my fault that you do not know how to drive?”, “siapa yang salah sekarang ni?”, “i don’t care, you pay me back right now”, “so sekarang you nak bayar ke tak?”, “You tak nampak ke dah kemek and cat terkeluar?”, and “Kalau tak nak bayar, jom pergi balai”…

    At my last phrase, he chickened out and paid me RM100. .. He must be thinking, “aiyoh, ini perempuan, manyiak takut worr…..”

    sekian, terima kasih….

  7. rene says:

    aiyoyo…uncle mike, u re a brave man! U not scared this indian whack u ah? u re my idol~ hehe!

  8. malcolmchoy says:

    yalor…u damn brave ler..if me i sure cabut fast fast ler..later he call all his indian gang come whack me…ahaks

  9. Dr. Tan says:

    Evil, but good in a way.

    Taxi drivers are damn fucked up. Its only one or two that are actually nice.

  10. mikelee says:

    Wow you are one brave man. However luckily he didn’t try to do any damage while you went and find the security guards. Just becareful next time. He might mark your car.

  11. michaelooi says:

    pah – Hahah, your experience reminded me of one I saw – where a girl intervened in an accident negotiation between her boyfriend and another guy. Made some smartass demands and the guy shouted at her to ‘fucking shut up bitch and get back into the fucking car’. The guys eventually shook hands and settled everything amicably. heheh…

    rene/malcolm/mike – I wouldn’t call myself brave ler. I actually made a few careful observations and judged whether it was safe before I decided to provoke that Indian guy. Of course I wouldn’t do something stupid if the guy’s unstable or hostile. He seemed stupid and shallow enough for me to pick on, that’s why I did it.

    dr.tan – Yeah, their fuck-up-ness came right after factory bus drivers. God I hate factory bus drivers.

  12. rene says:

    Frankly, do u actually looked down on them? Those lower class workers. Your replied seemed like u enjoy bully them.

  13. michaelooi says:

    rene – I only lose my respect for inconsiderate people. Had this guy apologized, all these wouldn’t have happened. And this has nothing to do with ‘working class’. If he was to be an executive working class kind of person, I will still have my own way to pick on him. No shit. (check this out – http://www.michaelooi.net/2006/03/28/the-showdown/)

  14. doc says:

    Had my fair share of this kind of people. Outside they can act tough but after they get chopped and you are trying to stitch them up, they cry father mother ancestors. It’s their survivor instinct at play.


  15. seremban engineer says:

    This entry recall back my bad experience in 5 years ago. I was nearly killed by the india taxi driver when i was crossing the pedestrian way in front of the traffic light. The cheebye motherfucker india driver were rushing to pass the traffic light after the traffic light for him is turned red. He was speeding to my way when I was crossing the road and I was shocked because this motherfucker really speeding to me about 10 meter distance from me only, I jumped into the middle of road to be not killed by this motherfucker. I was like the Tom Cruise in MI-3 rolling in the middle of road. Cheebye india taxi driver. I’m not looking down to this kind of low-paid worker, but I’m looking down to this kind of bad ethical and attitude ppl. I wish he was killed in the car accident.

  16. michaelooi says:

    doc – Do us all people a favor, the next time you stitch up one of them motherfuckers, sew his wound deeper. Let him scream. (muahahahah)

    seremban engineer – Oh man, that sux. But if you look at it on the bright side, at least you get to be Tom Cruise… For me, that taxi driver made me look like Kojak having a really bad hair day. For those who witnessed the shouting match without really knowing what happened, would see me as another loser who fucks around with geriatric taxi drivers. Life, man…

  17. Bengbeng says:

    Rene is missing the point…the taxi driver was the one at fault in this instance and he would eat up any one he wishes bcos the majority of us jus bow our heads down n accept it. Michael knew where his strengths and weaknesses were and he used it. That’s all.

  18. bodicea says:

    farneeness *sadistic laughter*

    i did my own version of conning taximen too. like when i was 14.


    p.s. you’re so linked.

  19. bodicea says:

    btw, just wanna point something out from The Showdown post:


    He’s indeed a Drama King.

    I would simply ignore him and walk off if i were u.

    You are still kind enough to reciprocate.
    # | souplad | March 28th, 2006, 1:12 pm

    I’m kind maaa… what to do?
    # | michaelooi | March 28th, 2006, 1:18 pm

    i told the same thing to people too, regarding my showdowns

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