January 17, 2007

a dick short of a wanker

Me: “Hey man, have you ever taken an IQ test before?”

Mojo Jojo: “…Huh?”

Me: “I was wondering how much you would actually score if you were to take the test.”

Mojo Jojo: “Why?”

Me: “Coz you’re the most fucking stupid creature I’ve ever met in my working life.”

Mojo Jojo: “… … …”

I may have crossed the border of being what people would refer as ‘adequately social’. I was very mean, I know. But it’s for his own good. I thought the insult might perk him up a little and get him running, you know… I don’t really need him to like me. I just want him to spare me from anymore unnecessary troubles at work by being less stupid.

The following afternoon after I complimented his rock bottom intelligence, he came to me with a computer motherboard… his finger pointing at its memory slot,

Mojo Jojo: “Michael, is this a heatsink?”

[Oh I'm sure you guys know what's a 'heatsink'. If you don't, go find the nearest toilet bowl, put your head into it and flush.]

Me: “What??”

Mojo Jojo: “Errr… is this a heatsink?” [point point at memory slot]

Me: “What do you think man? Does this look like a heatsink to you?? Have you seen a plastic heatsink before??”

Mojo Jojo: “… … …”

Me: “That’s a MEMORY SLOT you retard! What the fuck is wrong with you??”

Mojo Jojo: “eheks…eheks… I thought it was a heatsink…”

Me: “And yet you call yourself an engineer?? FUCKKKK!”

Mojo Jojo: “eheks…”

Me: “Dude you better go read up some stuffs on the internet to fill up your empty brain! Hell, do you even know how to surf??”

Mojo Jojo: “Yes I know, thanks for the advice”

Mein Gott Im Himmel!! Now you know why I can be so feisty sometimes…

michaelooi  | dialogs  | 

17 Comments to “a dick short of a wanker”

  1. seremban engineer says:

    No Kidding, there are many similar creatures in my company. A 35 yrs old Senior Test Engineer asking me how to search info using google. A UKM graduate (E&E) asked how to differentiate the Ground, Life and Neutral. A UPM graduate (Computer Engineering) couldnt differentiate the SCSI and parallel port. Strictly speaking, I dont know what these kind of fucking engineers know about.

  2. Silencers says:

    Geez, Mike. I haven’t heard anbyone say ‘Mein Gott Im Himmel’ for ages.

  3. ahmog says:

    Next time Mojo asks another stupid question, direct him to ask another engineer .. sooner or later he would have no face because everybody knows how useless Mojo is..

  4. ahmog says:

    How did Mojo get into your department is such stupid questions are asked?

  5. Arkane says:

    Try to beat this. I have a manager from my engineering / R and D department asking me what does CMOS stand for.

  6. michaelooi says:

    seremban engineer – Paper engineer. They only have the qualifications, but not the knowledge. I weep for our nation man…

    silencers – Well now you have. ;-)

    ahmog – Frankly speaking, I have no idea why was he hired. My best guess is, to make everyone look a lot more smarter? *shrugs*

    arkane – Wow, classic. R&D manager somemore. Dude, email me your company name. I’ll refrain from buying anything that has something to do with your company.

  7. eric shieh says:

    I’m in consumer sales & am not technically-inclined. Maybe I can look for seremban engineer or michael if I ever want to venture in engineering career cos I know what a heatsink look like or rewire a plug or get the right port or go google for it. Can ah? I can handle toilet flush mechanism too.

  8. Arkane says:

    hehehe. mike, tak boleh lah. For the same reason that you can’t reveal company X’s name, i also can’t reveal company Y’s name, lest I be charged with high treason.

  9. vincent says:

    It’s not about the company x or company y. We ALL face the same fucking problem.

    A mechanical engineer me asked that day, “Why does this nail look so funny?”

    Because, you fucking idiot, that is not a nail. Its a fucking RIVET.

  10. michaelooi says:

    eric – Sure, why not dude? If you know how to play golf, you can even be my boss!

    arkane – If they want to charge you high treason, they don’t need you to reveal Company Y’s name to do it man, trust me…

    vincent – I wonder what’s next… a male porn star asking what’s that funny looking tongue jutting out of that girl’s pee pee?

  11. Xiao_zhai says:

    Whoah….you can be a good boss.

  12. I think this would be very funny if you do a cartoon strip about this…;)

  13. arboon! says:

    reminds me of dilbert…

  14. ShaolinTiger says:

    If you work in any engineering line shit like this happens.

    The stupidity of people is astounding sometimes.

  15. doc says:

    *holding a piece of excised tissue* “Is this the appendix?”

    “No!!! That’s her ovary you moron!!!”

  16. bongkersz says:

    can’t imagine that happening doc.. duh.. haha~!

  17. EinsamSoldat says:

    It is only me thinking or it is a known conspiracy for company X to hire ignorant-dumb-fuck ?

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