Archive for 2007

December 26, 2007

2007 roll up

2007 has been a ‘Regine year’ for both Emily and I. This is because everything that we did in 2007, has influences of our baby girl in it. From making plans to executing them, from allocating budgets to splurging them, from the balcony of the house to the kitchen patio, Regine is never far from any equation. She is like, the carbon of our lives, and will remain so for a very long time.

And I guess that is why we haven’t got much activities outside our circle of family. We have been so busy showing our little girl all the nice things on this planet, that we have left ourselves very little time for leisure. For example,
– we’ve only been to the cinema together ONCE in 2007 (for that shitty Transformer flick), compared to hundreds of times in the pre-Regine years.
– I myself been to far less orgies, parties and drinking outings compared to any other years in my life (used to be zillions, now only millions).
– zero overseas vacation for both of us (unless you define traveling from Penang island through the stupid bridge to the mainland as ‘overseas’… then yes, many times over).

…among many things…

If our lives were to be summarized into minutes, there will only be 2 points

– time for Regine the Little Samseng.
– time for Work

But then, not that we’re complaining or anything. Though 2007 may seem to be lacked of conventional desirables, it was one of the most wonderful year to date for me, if not for both of us. The primary reason of all, is to see Regine grow by the day. Her progress can be best described as remarkable. Like, you know, she only started to learn how to walk at the 8th 15th month, and got us piss worried like hell. But then, she made it back up by learning everything at warp speed. She came back home from the daycare, day after day, and showed us new things that we’ve never seen before (new words, special dance moves she observed at the nursery, etc). Now, at 18 months old, she can understand 2 and a half languages (probably some accidental profanities from daddy’s road raging moments), knows how to run, climb, jump, dance rhythmically and do my tax (I was kidding about this one).

As for my career, I said I’d give it a wake up push a couple years ago. This year, it was the payout time. I became the most productive engineer in the workgroup. I met only a fraction short of the impossible goal line. I got good feedbacks from other peers, that I’m now not so much of a jerk I was before. And then one of my old project, was nominated for the US patent office. Though it is now still in the 2nd level review process, I have received lots of recognition for this. The VP and GM – they all wanted me to shake their hands (and I missed all of them coz I’m too cool to give a damn… ahahahahh). And last but not least, I finally fucking got my promotion (finally, like releasing a big piece of stale shit that had lodged in my rectum for ages). I’m a level 3 engineer now, and that’s the highest one can ever get for this level. (trivial achievement for some of you rich & lucky bastards, but this means a lot to me… so, fuck you)

I couldn’t have been any happier.

So, what am I planning for 2008? I think I’m going to give it a rest. I’d like to stabilize my career over – now that I have bigger responsibilities with the new level and shit. As for Regine, the goal is to get her to master a proper speech, and to get her going to places. And I hope everything will go as well as it is at this juncture of my life, and then, I’m gonna have another 2007 in 2008, and the subsequent years to come…

But for now, I’d like to wish you guys a happy brand new year. May your wish and mine come true.

See you next year.

[pic deleted]

michaelooi  | flashbacks  | 21 Comments
December 23, 2007

wildlife preservation & merry christmas

i stumbled into this in my inbox…

From: pk tan To: Michael Ooi
Date: Dec 22, 2007 8:04 AM
Subject: Malaysia Wildlife Conservation Awareness Campaign 2008


My name is Pk Tan, the editor in chief for Malaysia Travel Guide. I’m writing in to request for your help in our online campaign on “Malaysia Wildlife Conservation Awareness 08″.

[site link – if you’re interested, google for the link yourself, sucker]

Here at Malaysia Travel Guide, we seek to promote Malaysia Tourism in the right way. Our first campaign revolves around the conservation of Malaysia wildlife. We seek to increase public awareness and knowledge of the value of biodiversity, its threats, and actions that will help conserve wildlife and natural areas in Malaysia.

We believe that Wildlife conservation begins with education; It is to address this lack of understanding that Malaysia Travel Guide introduced The Malaysia Wildlife Conservation Awareness Campaign.

The objective of this campaign is to increase the awareness of “Malaysia Wildlife Conservation” via the internet, especially through Blogs.
Join us in our campaign:
There are a number of options that you can help us in this campaign.
– On the 1st Jan 2008: Blog / Write a post that relates to the Malaysia wildlife conservation. It can be to do with your usual topic or totally just about a Malaysia wildlife conservation issue.
– Prior to 1st Jan 2008, inform other bloggers about this campaign and explaining it in terms they understand (or direct them to the campaign page).
– Support the campaign: Add our banner to your site and spread the word

The best way to raise awareness is simply talking about it.

Wildlife conservation begins with each of us – Together, we can make a difference.

I would also be interested to hear any comments or suggestions you have about this campaign.

Oh yah, please do let me know, Thanks!
Thank you for your time : ))
Warm regards,

Another pimping request. Some wildlife conservation. Wtf.

I’ve had a few cans of beer tonight after a round of barbecuing some wildlife (ironically, with a bunch of wildlife, and got a bit wild ourselves) and I felt like replying so, I did it. And here’s my reply to the editor in spam…

From: Michael Ooi
To: pk tan Date: Dec 23, 2007 2:39 AM
Subject: Re: Malaysia Wildlife Conservation Awareness Campaign 2008

mr. tan
I hate to say this but, I think I’ll have to disagree with you about something – i think tourism and preserving wildlife are both different ballgames, and they don’t complement each other very well.

for one, tourists don’t come here to see wildlife. They’re here to have a great time (i.e. they don’t give a shit). And if they’re here, they’re gonna produce more wastes – that’s not gonna be good for any ‘wildlife’ per se (unless the ‘wildlife’ you’re referring to are those with silicon boob bags and stilettos)

Ergo, it is best to not have more tourists here if you really want to ‘preserve’ wildlife.

If you want tourists, forget wildlife. If you want wildlife, you should stop driving automobiles, quit using computers to spam email strangers, ditch your clothes and live in the wild instead – then you would have done your part to preserve the environment (which, indirectly, could save a thing or two that breathes).

But then, I’ll still post this email exchange in my blog. It’s not going to be on 1st Jan though, but in a way, it’ll still help to pimp your cause.
And all the best with that.

P/S: Please, don’t email me anymore. I eat animals (though domestic), I do not want to feel any guilt while doing that. (eating animals since 1977)

Merry Christmas, everybody. Remember to recycle your beer and wine bottles, and kill less wildlife (leave the orang utans alone please… and I do not mean those that work in unisex hair salon…)

michaelooi  | mails/posts  | Comments Off
December 17, 2007


I now feel tempted to know, what do you guys actually think about the Hindraf movement thingy that has been generating lots of hoohahs recently.

1) Do you think what they (the Hindraf cult/gang/movement/whatever) had done was right? Why?

2) If you’re so fucking smart, what do you think that they could have done differently to make the whole struggle a more successful one?

3) What do you think of the government? Do you think they have done anything right at all to address this whole Hindraf shebang? Elaborate please.

Of course, I’ll answer those myself. I have my own ideas. But not before I see what’s the general opinion out there first…
Please rape the commenting system if you must.. cheers.

Read the rest of this entry »

michaelooi  | satirical shit  | 27 Comments
December 14, 2007

what have i learned? – 01

Tonight, I’ll be made to haul my ass up a glittering stage to shake the hand of our Vice President, take a shitty photo with him (which both of us aren’t gonna be too fond of) and get from him my 10th year service award gift.

That’s right, you didn’t read me wrong. 10 frigging years. That is how long I have been with Company X. I was only a callow 20 year old when I joined. But now, I’m a fucking cunning old man in the company (and proud of it).

For that decade long of service, I bet you guys must be thinking that I will be getting a pretty nifty reward for staying so loyal for so long. Like maybe, a holiday to Europe or a nice notebook to complement my cunning old man image, you know. But no. Sad to say, I’ll just be getting a cert (with my name on it, how cool) and an mp3 player of insignificant value (not even an iPod). Fuckety fuck fuck.

But I ain’t complaining. You know why? Because I am grateful – for I have already gotten something even more valuable than that. Life lessons. The plethora of experiences. Fuck ups and mistakes that I made, and what I have learned from them. Those stuff. You don’t get those off the shelves. Those smart management books, seminars and courses? They’re all mostly bullshit – because in my arrogant opinion, nothing beats experiencing everything yourself.

And I got those, and still getting it.

So, what have I learned so far, after surviving for so long in the corporate world? I’m gonna share them in probably a few posts as I think and list them… and in no particular order…
(Count your blessings, folks – for when I was 20, nobody hinted me anything about staying afloat in the corporate world. I learned them all the hard way)

Lesson 01: Never bite the hand that feeds you.
That’s another way of saying, never fuck with your boss. When I first joined Company X, I never deigned to give anyone respect, and that includes my then boss. I got into a yelling competition with my boss on my first review, and was made to pay a dear lesson when words spreaded far about my attitude. And believe me, I am still paying for that mistake till this day – despite being a totally changed person, I am still being tagged as a mean fuck wherever I go. That attribute got stuck, and that’s just unfortunate.

Always think of it this way, your boss is like your locomotive, and you’re just a rail car being pulled in tandem. Fuck with him small, and you’re fucking yourself big. Many successful people know this secret. Probably some of you extra smart ones do as well. This is also the reason why people sell their soul and self esteem to the devil to suck on their superior’s balls (that’s taking it to the extreme). – they’re insuring their own welfare through good relationship with their boss.

Lesson 2: The only direction left for you to go when you’re at the top, is down.
That’s right. This has got to be one of the most important thing I’ve learned during my tenure in Company X. I understand that the youngs nowadays like to go with the motto of ‘showing what you can’ and can’t wait to impress other people with how much you can do for them. (trying to be smart, etc)

Trust me people, that’s not a wise thing to do. It only took me a couple years to learn this, and it has gotten me very far in my working life. If you still cannot grasp what this is all about, imagine your work as your weekly food ration. Now, think about this, would it be wise for you to eat them out of gluttony in one day, and suffer hunger for the rest of the week? Or would it be wiser for you to consume them moderately over the course of the whole week so that you’d get an even filling? See my point?

The key idea is to leave yourself enough work to do everyday. Impressing your boss is important, yes. But it is even more important for you to sustain that good impression on a constant manner, rather than setting your bar too high the first few times and see yourself fail on the subsequent. Spread your achievements thin, you’ll last longer.

I’ll leave this for now… lunch time’s over. Will post more when free. [to be continued here – “what have i learned? – 02″]

michaelooi  | enlightenments  | 14 Comments
December 12, 2007

Ook Aa Ah

Emily : “Regine, say – Aunty Heoh…”

Aunty Heoh is one of Regine’s caretaker at the daycare center.

Regine : “Ook Aa ah.”

Emily : “No, not ‘Ook aa ah’. Say it properly – Aunty Heoh… say it.”

Regine : “Ook Aa ah.”

Emily : “Repeat after me – Aunt…”

Regine : “Aunt.”

Emily : “Tee…”

Regine : “Tee.”

Emily : “Aunty…”

Regine : “Auntee.”

Emily : “Heoh…”

Regine : “Heoh.”

Emily : “Now say – Aunty Heoh…”

Regine : “Ook Aa ah.”

Emily : [Legs up in the air]

michaelooi  | 3-of-us  | 5 Comments