Archive for 2006

January 2, 2006

lady boss advice

I was reading some emails when the corner of my eyes caught someone standing at my apartment doorstep. It was Emily, home from work, flashing me this scintillating megawatt smile. Almost immediately, I knew something was wrong.

“What’s wrong? What happened?”

She didn’t say a thing, but gave me a wider smile.

“Oh…no… something happened to Lorraine??”

Smiling stops. I was right.

You see, I didn’t go to work that day and hence, I was unable to carpool with her to work. That was why Emily’s driving my Lorraine for that day, while I proclaim myself clinically dead for half the planet revolution from partying too hard the day before (and no, it wasn’t even the New Year’s eve…)

That news was shocking enough to wake me up from that feeble state. ‘What a fucking way to end 2005′ I thought. And before I could even get myself to ask more questions, Emily went on detailing the damage of the car to me – A detached alphabet on my car registration plate. Odd but, that’s the only damage Lorraine sustained.

Apparently, it happened when Emily accidentally released the brake pedal too soon at a stop junction, and scooted the car forward to kiss the vehicle in front. Since there wasn’t any damage to the other run-down Kia either, both parties cooled it off without any settlement (there’s nothing to settle).

But Emily, fearing that I might go apeshit about this accident thing, got really miserable and started consulting around for advice. That was when her lady boss, taught her about the art of “keeping-secrets-from-your-husband”. To get the car fixed as soon as possible, and tell me nothing about it. Her lady boss has been following this same old formula all her married life – wreck the husband’s car, got it fixed, and kept it out of his knowledge – and it always worked for her. (I hope her husband reads this entry…)

Well, thinking that it’s probably a good idea, Emily followed her advice and got a colleague to help fabricate a new registration plate for my car. But that colleague, warned Emily that the consequences could be even more dire if I found out about the accident by myself. The brand new sparkling registration plate would stick out like a sore thumb and it would be easy for someone as awesome as me to spot it.

That’s why Emily chose to tell me in the end. And I was glad she did, as I couldn’t have spotted the difference between my old versus new plate (as I later found out).
But I was even more glad, that her lady boss didn’t actually teach her to sell the goddamn car to some thugs, keep the money and claim that it was stolen at the workplace car park.

Goddamn!

michaelooi  | 2-of-us  | 7 Comments