December 21, 2006

common sense

It was rush hour and I was overtaking on the fast lane. But due to the traffic congestion around the area, the overtaking was snagged to a limited speed, but good enough to get pass the stretch of slower moving vehicles on the left lane. Then came this impetuous driver, appearing out of nowhere behind my Lorraine and started to repeatedly flash his headlights like mad – like he so desperately needed me to move over to let him through or else his balls are gonna fucking explode or something.

On any normal circumstances, I would have moved over (then flip him a bird). But I couldn’t and didn’t. That’s because I was surrounded with cars on my left and at the front. On my right, was a 2 feet high divider with fence. There couldn’t have been any other way for me to let him pass other than flying. Ergo, he must had thought that my car could fly. Fly right over the traffic to make way for him to advance that few feet closer to the hind bumper of another car… Riggggght.

Well, that’s a flattering thought… but the last I checked, my car didn’t come prefitted with any anti-gravitational device, or any nifty eggbeater blades capable of generating enough airlift to lift 1.3 tonnes of sheer metal off the ground. (If my car could do that, I probably would have fucking flew to my destination instead of pissing myself off contending the traffic.) So, there could only be one explanation for that guy’s excessively irrational behavior – lack of common sense.

Not very surprising though… as this wasn’t the first time I encounter utterly hopeless people like him around. There was once I encountered a young lady who stopped her car right behind my reversing car, waiting to park my spot. Like… if her car is blocking my reversing car, how the hell am I gonna vacant that parking lot for her to park? It’s unbelievably fucking stupid, isn’t it?

Sadly, it really happened. It seems that this ‘lack of common sense’ syndrome is quite widespread, especially amongst the younger generation. Ask yourself, how many times have you received forwarded mails (from your brain damaged friends), alleging that if you don’t forward it to another 20 subsequent recipients in your address book, your pet dog’s going to fucking explode (or something like that)? Go figure why would there be anyone stupid enough to be duped into believing that kind of shit.

I’m not sure if this is due to the amount of synthetic food that we religiously consume everyday, or is this some kind of side effects the computer technology has on human evolution. But one thing I’m sure, is that if we don’t do something about it sooner, we’re bound to evolve back into cavemen…

So what should we do? I don’t fucking know. Maybe create an additional subject in school specifically to encourage logical judgment and thinking? I can imagine some of the questions in their exam to be like this:

eg# 1:
Pundi kencing anda telah penuh, anda harus
a) minum air
b) makan nasi
c) hisap kotek
d) pergi kencing

eg# 2:
Anda terserempak dengan seekor beruang yang tempang. Apakah yang anda harus buat seterusnya?
a) Menjerit sekuat hatinya.
b) Cuba melawan beruang tersebut.
c) Merogol beruang tersebut.
d) Lari.

Something to start with… for the good of humanity.

(if you’re wondering if I’ve done anything to the impetuous flashing driver – well, I pulled a panic-brake maneuver on him… but it didn’t stop him from flashing though. Got him madder instead.)

michaelooi  | traffic shit  | 

17 Comments to “common sense”

  1. bongkersz says:

    yeah, farking annoying drivers.. encountered many of them, seems like there are everywhere, suspected they belong to a clan. damn tulan when it’s farking jam, and the car behind start honking or flashing headlights. Maybe should installed some electronic board at the back of my car so that I can send some ‘message’ to the car behind in this situation :D

  2. Zer0 says:

    Lol. This is what separates the smart and the dumb. Plain common sense.

  3. xTr3me says:

    nice post man! :) I totally agree with you..The society is full of ppl with shit for brains..

  4. deriku says:

    usually when i encounter these flashing madhats on the highway, i’d slow down just to piss them off.

  5. Jeebs says:

    bongkersz : No, all cars should be fitted with loudspeakers, just like those vans buying old newspapers. Then we can shout profanities at those road terrors. Or use it to scare some aunties to move along or something.

  6. ahmog says:

    On the middle lane:
    You should do what deriku does.. only this time I would be bopping my head like hearing some ‘tak-no’ music.. not seeing / hearing his demands..

    On the fast lane:
    But usually i’d move aside and wish him/her meet they’re own kind. :)

    On the slow lane:
    I couldn’t be bothered.. i’ll drive even more slower .. like 50 to 60 and pretend to be on a conversation with my imaginary friend. ;)

    BUT … I’ll get the hell out of there.. if the one tailgating me is one of those speeding construction truck juggernaughts.

    Don’t know about Penang.. these juggernaughts in KL are ruthless, partly because the truck isn’t their’s.

  7. bongkersz says:

    good idea, but.. ugly shiet if my car is installed with loudspeakers..

  8. titoki says:

    Happy Dong Zhi, Merry X’mas, Happy Boxing Day and a Happy New Year to you!!! Ho Ho Ho~ :)

  9. michaelooi says:

    Zer0 – He need to have the hardware to support the common sense software…

    xTr3me – Or could be the other way round – they use their colons to think.

    bongkersz – I was thinking of something better, maybe a spout of somekind that links to a canister of compressed paint. With just a press of a button, I can spray out a mist of fine paint particles from the rear of my moving car… and fuck his windshield up.

    deriku – That’s almost the same to that panic-brake maneuver I mentioned.

    jeebs – It won’t work dude. A lot of cars have good sound insulation nowadays. Consider my spray paint suggestion instead.

    ahmog – Penang truck drivers are as badass I think.

    titoki – same goes to you. And the rest of you who can read this.

  10. Silencers says:

    Apabila anda berdepan dengan seorang yang dungu seperti tiang telefon, anda harus:

    a. sumbat mulutnya dengan kasut anda
    b. langgarnya dengan motosikal
    c. cekiknya dengan wayar cerek anda
    d. didiknya sehingga dia pandai

  11. michaelooi says:

    silencers – dude, that’s a tough question. I would have opted for either (a), (b) or (c)… coz we all know, no matter how much we teach a telephone pole, it’ll still be that stupid… *shrugs*

  12. Angeleyes says:

    hahhaha… can’t agree more!
    Merry Chrismas and Happy New Year to you and your family!

  13. bongkersz says:

    i see snowflakes! :D merry christmas and happy new year michael and family~!

  14. sooi2 says:

    woowee, pretty snowflakes in 62% evil blog! merry xmas to u and ur family mike!

  15. phangan says:

    haha… had a fair share of such incidents myself. On the fast lane… lotsa cars on the left, front is one long line… and this idiot starts flashing behind me. Usually i just pretend i don’t see anything and drive along with the traffic. :P

  16. michaelooi says:

    Merry Christmas y’all. Now, we shall move on to New Year.

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