‘off’ in the head

Emily was deluged with shitloads of chores at her office this morning when her cellphone went off. Agitated by the untimely call, she answered it with a ‘it-better-be-an-important-call’ tone… It was Sweety on the line, as anxious as ever. Emily would have asked her to call back at another convenient time, but because she’s pregnant (yes, she finally did it), Emily had to give her the privilege of attention, lest that she might kill herself or something (you know knocked up ladies are usually a bit ‘off’ in the head)

Sweety : [alarmed tone] “Emily! I have to ask you something!”

Emily : “What is it?”

Sweety : “I remember you told me about Jane had diarrhea when she was pregnant, right?”

Emily : “Yeah, what about it?”

Sweety : “Well, I’m having it now!”

Long silence…

Emily : “Errrr… so?”

Sweety : “I’m having a diarrhea now!”

Emily : “Errr… am I supposed to do something about it?”

Sweety : “No. I just called to tell you that I’m having a diarrhea… that’s all.”

[click]

Emily : o_O”

When imbecility and psychosis combine, the end result can be fucking scary.

This story was relived by Emily on our way home from work today.