November 20, 2006

psychopath cow

I was frantically searching for a couple bricks of butter in haste at a local hypermart in my desperate bid to avoid the rush hour traffic. And boy, it sure is hard to look for something in particular when you’re in a hurry. After searching a few aisles down the vast hypermart floor, I finally found the dairy department… with a cow standing on 2 legs blocking off my view. o_O

Seriously…

I was initially locking my vision on a set of cute butt belonged to a hypermart chick who was stooping down to tag some milk cartons, when that obese shapeshifter started to flail her hands uncontrollably like that and was shouting at a little girl inside her cart, whom I reckon must be her daughter of 5? Yeah. That was how she piqued my attention, in a negative way. (ever since I became a parent, my sensitivity towards potential psychopaths has multiplied by a thousand folds – even when I’m not with my baby. Like, you’ll never know if anyone’s going to snap and start kidnapping babies or something).

So this shapeshifter full of organic fertilizer was kinda irascibly loud there. My intrinsic alarm went off, just like that face recognition thingy that we often see on CSI. Bitch alert… bitch alert. You know, if I were to be a dog? I would have leapt at her on compulsion and rip her fucking windpipe out. Just to give you the idea on how bad her vibes were. But I ain’t a dog… so, that didn’t happen. Instead, I plodded my steps carefully through the ample space left by her colossal ass on the aisle and went on with my business to get my butter.

But just as I was about half the journey past the grease planet, a rather shocking sight unfolded before my eyes. The bitch lifted her dimpled overgrown lardy arm and pounded hard onto the kid’s thigh. **WHOPPPP!!** That blow, I reckon, was hard enough to take out a small mammal if it were to be applied to the right spot on the skull. The poor girl immediately buried her face into her own arms and bleated silently, probably a move that she had been doing many times, to avoid more swatting from her psychotic mom. The bitch then lifted her up like a ragdoll, and tossed her onto the plastic toddler seat (you know, those that came prefixed on shopping carts?). The kid landed hard on her side and sprawled horizontally across on it. Had it been a little bit harder, the little girl would have fallen onto the ground and god knows what kind of injury she would have gotten.

From what I manage to gather, the kid was actually asking to be seated onto the plastic seat… but apparently, the mom wasn’t too happy about it.. and went ballistic. That’s how a simple request was translated into a full fledged violence in public. And that really got me wondering, what the fuck was she thinking. Firstly, she shouldn’t have brought along her kid, knowing that they’re nothing but a bunch of self centered noise maker. Secondly, she shouldn’t have taken a cart with a toddler seat on it. The fat bitch could have taken a regular cart, since she didn’t want her daughter to sit on a toddler seat. Thirdly, having taken a cart with a toddler seat, WHY THE FUCK WOULDN’T SHE LET HER KID SIT ON IT???? I’m always a believer in effectiveness of corporal punishment, but this is way out of the ballpark. This is child abuse. And being all fucked up.

I was tempted to confront that violent mom, you know? Like tipping her over into the wedged fridge compartment? Then to REALLY rip out her windpipe with a brick of butter? But I decided not to… for following reasons:

1) It’s none of my business. I could have tried stopping the bitch from spanking her kids there and then, but it won’t be permanent (unless she’s dead – which would make that kid half an orphan – no good)

2) That was a big lady there. She’s like, the sea elephant of all cows. She could have possibly freaked even real full grown cows that moo, what more a puny human like me. It would be suicidal to provoke her – which would make my daughter half an orphan – no good.

3) I don’t like tampering around with the ecosystem. I believe the world exists in balance like a close looped chain. You remove one of the links, it’ll all go down like a deck of cards. Killing a cow is akin to removing a part of that important link. It’ll all go down and we all are gonna fucking die.

4) I forgot to wash my car last weekend.

Alright… those are just excuses if you couldn’t tell. I can make up a thousand of those. Part of me says that I could have done something about this. Maybe report to the authorities or something. But then, I just ain’t the type. I’m not Spiderman, or even that very kind uncle who smiles at everyone in the neighbourhood. I’ve been there and done that, and it bit me on the ass so hard, that I decided that it’ll be good for me to just be another regular person who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about anything. (Now, if you were to be in my shoes, what would you do?)

Right now, I can only hope the best for that girl, and the worst for that cow who hit her that day. A freak accident maybe, that somehow causes a plastic toddler chair to lodge inside her rectum… (cows have big rectum so it’s entirely possible)

michaelooi  | what I saw  | 

28 Comments to “psychopath cow”

  1. sooi2 says:

    i wud prolly give planet grease the meanest stare in the galaxy and…that’s it. like u sed, it’s none of our bisnes lor hor?

  2. eric says:

    Sometimes we see/get/meet parents from hell, sometimes it the kid who are from hell!

  3. michaelooi says:

    sooi2 – And hope that your stare of death would petrify the bitch? What are you, a gorgon or something? XP

    hijackqueen – That kid was probably her side effect from an unprotected sex… it explains everything.

    merv – People like her should be grazing grass somewhere…

    silencers – Then, supposedly, she’ll repent and fucking kill herself? Riiiiight man. (if only that is possible,…)

    eric – Yes but, have you really ever seen kids from hell beat up their parents like they’re pests?

    Jason – Hmmm, if you really take offense on that descriptive fact about a CERTAIN bunch of filthy Indian kids that I happen to observe back when I was still schooling, then I must take it that – YOU ARE ONE OF THEM!!!! FUCK MAN, GO WASH YOUR HAIR OR SOMETHING!!!! Seriously, as much as racism can be a bane to the society, so is stupidity and lack of hygiene (sound familiar?)

  4. bongkersz says:

    I wonder if the will kid grow up and become another sociopath just like her mom :D :D

  5. Hijackqueen says:

    Sometimes I wonder these type of mother, do they actually love their children?

  6. titoki says:

    What if the kid is someone whom we know and he/she is under the care of her nanny?

  7. merv says:

    Unbelievable… Parents like her shouldn’t have kids. Hell, they shouldn’t even be alive :P

  8. Silencers says:

    I’d walk past and say out loud ‘Aduii sakitnya makk!’

  9. jason says:

    Dear Michael,

    I know you are not going to approve this, but I want you to read it.

    You know the remarks you always make about Indians being oily? Those racist remarks? Well, just in case you haven’t noticed, you are not anonymous. Someday, someone will find you. And when they do, may God have pity on you, because they sure as hell won’t.

    Maybe you should rectify matters by typing an apology on your blog, but knowing you, with your pride, you won’t. Being a racist is not only damaging to society, it could also be very damaging to your health and general well-being.

    Hopefully we have the pleasure of meeting someday. You seem like a wonderful person.

    Jason

  10. Min says:

    I doubt there is an agency where someone could go to for a child abuse report. Oh well, not like the agency is going to do anything anyway.

    I really sympathized the kid. And if she has other brothers and sisters, gosh what on earth is this woman thinking!

    And why in the middle of no where there is a comment of racism issues and etc? Maybe you ought to e-mail Michael instead of posting it on his comment?

  11. megabigblur says:

    I think I’d have scolded the woman…or at least said something like “Aunty, you shouldn’t hit your daughter like that, you could hurt her quite badly” (yeah, i don’t have massive sarcasm skills like Mike). If nobody speaks up, who’s going to save the kid?

    In secondary school, one of my friends was being beaten by her drunkard father…me and my other friends were pretty reluctant to do anything at first but we eventually talked to a teacher about it. Ppl with conscience NEED to do something about abuse instead of just going “oh, that sucks.”

  12. jeez says:

    i certainly agree about the indian issue, the fact that they smell really awful with the minyak kelapa sawit they apply. it’s unbearable. imagine seating behind someone with that smell in the lecture hall and u have to bear with it till the lecture ends. It’s definitely annoying and difficult to concentrate in that atmosphere.

  13. malcolmchoy says:

    “Maybe you should rectify matters by typing an apology on your blog, but knowing you, with your pride, you won’t. Being a racist is not only damaging to society, it could also be very damaging to your health and general well-being.”

    Ahaks…

  14. michaelooi says:

    bongkersz – Growing up could be a challenge itself for the kid…

    min – I think there is. But then nobody seems to know their number. (just like most of our emergency numbers…991, 994, 121, 584, 003..etc)

    megabigblur – Aisehman, thanks for making me feel bad ler. But seriously, I wish that I could have done something more than just verbally mocking that cow. And I don’t know what is it.

    jeez – No I don’t personally believe that ALL Indians are odoriferous. That’s where I draw my line between stereotyping the entire race, versus a particular group of people. But yes you’re right in a way… people with BO does make one lose a lot of concentration…

  15. Nicevil says:

    I would use my EVIL PENETRATING HUMILIATING stare combined with the occasional disapproving nod.

    I then fake myself walking away past her.

    And deliver the final bomb. The MOAB.

    “You call yourself a mother ? Heh.”

  16. JaneDoe says:

    That’s the problem with Malaysians. Everything isn’t our problem. It only becomes our problem when it happens to us or our loved ones. It’s amazing how selfish we are and yet all we do is complain about others!

  17. michaelooi says:

    NicEvil – You actually think that’ll work dude? Hmmm…

    JaneDoe – Yeah… just like how you whined inside my commenting system instead of telling us how your eminence ass would do when you see someone swatting their kid in public… (in addition to that, you’re also a consummate hypocrite)

  18. Jason says:

    Dear Michael,

    Once again, defiance. You should really think twice before being so stubborn. You are after all a grown man with a wife and daughter. I would expect more maturity from someone like you. Instead you behave like a 5 year old.

    You know, for someone whose grammar is comparable to that of a 3 year old, you do seem to have quite a high opinion of yourself. Perhaps you should start blogging in your mother-tongue. Then people will start taking you seriously.

  19. michaelooi says:

    jason – So, now I have the mentality of a 5 year old, and grammatical prowess of a 3 year old? (and at the same time, a racist?)

    o_O

    Wow.

    I’m amazed with your ability to hurl, Jason. I wonder what next… that I might be Spiderman? Hmmm.

    Anyway, despite of our differences and your negative opinions about me, I still think that you’re a nice person. Maybe you had a bad day at the spastic center or something, but whatever it was, you have my sympathy. Rest assured, I won’t get mad with your incoherent diatribes against me. ;-)

    And oh, if you ever need any recommendation for a good shampoo, feel free to consult me ya? It is always a pleasure of mine to assist mental degenerates like you. Part of the reason is because I am naturally a very charitable person. Yeah.

  20. bongkersz says:

    trolls are busy these days.. heh.

  21. Jason says:

    Dear Michael,

    Yes, you have the mentality of a 5 year old, and grammatical prowess of a 3 year old? If we average that out that will make you a 4 year old racist.

    When you say “had a bad day at the spastic centre”, you are implying that I am back home now. That logically means that I am not spastic. However, your deep knowledge on spastic centres does make me wonder where you grew up.. hmmm.

    You say “incoherent diatribes”. Incoherent because you lack the mental capacity to understand plain and simple English, with no grammatical errors? Unlike YOU, who chooses to use the biggest possible words you can find in your mummy’s dictionary and try to string them together with, well, as I said previously, the grammatical ability of a 3 year old.

    And my dear Michael, I dare say that I live a much more luxurious lifestyle than you, who I believe lives in a FLAT. So, don’t try to tell me what shampoo to use. Why don’t you improve your shitty standard of living first and then talk to people who are many many levels above you. Stop writing crap here and work harder. Maybe then you can move up from the Pantene or Rejoice crap you are presently using.

  22. michaelooi says:

    Allow me to dissect your comment, Jason…

    you have the mentality of a 5 year old, and grammatical prowess of a 3 year old? If we average that out that will make you a 4 year old racist.

    What a great way to apply your mathematical skills, moron. If you are 25 years old, with the mentality of a 5 year old and grammatical prowess of a 3 year old, you’re still 25. (hmmppffhhh)

    When you say “had a bad day at the spastic centre”, you are implying that I am back home now. That logically means that I am not spastic.

    You don’t get it do you? It doesn’t matter if you stay-over at the spastic center or come back home at night, technically, YOU’RE STILL A RETARD! I guess that explains your lack of common sense in your previous retorts.

    Unlike YOU, who chooses to use the biggest possible words you can find in your mummy’s dictionary and try to string them together with, well, as I said previously, the grammatical ability of a 3 year old.

    Big words to YOU perhaps. Those are very common words used by regular secondary students. I’m sorry if you have to inconveniently look up the dictionary just to understand my comment. (but I’m not surprised though, as I don’t expect you to be intelligent at all…)

    I dare say that I live a much more luxurious lifestyle than you, who I believe lives in a FLAT.

    Oh so you’re what, an elitist now? You live in a ‘much more luxurious lifestyle’ than me… big fucking deal dude. Yeah, I do live in a FLAT… that costs a quarter million with designer furnitures. Like, what do illiterates like me know about hygiene… humbug!

    So, don’t try to tell me what shampoo to use.

    I thought I only offered the help? Did I ‘try to tell you what shampoo to use’? Do you have comprehension problems, o’ english master?

    Why don’t you improve your shitty standard of living first and then talk to people who are many many levels above you.

    No thanks. I know you’re feeling very proud about the fact that you’re ‘many many levels above me’… in terms of retardity. (check my replies above to recap)

    Maybe then you can move up from the Pantene or Rejoice crap you are presently using.

    I may be pouring those ‘Pantene or Rejoice crap’ on my head…. but at least I don’t smell like STALE COCONUT OIL! (btw, I use Dove. Sorry.)

    I rest my case, Jason. If you want to flame my blog up, try something more intelligent. It makes my blog look really bad when you’re commenting like someone who thinks with his appendix.

  23. vincent says:

    You know how when you were a kid, and your parents would scare you :” Be good or the Indian man will come catch you!”

    It’s actually not the Indian man that is scary, but all that coconut oil and greasy hair that gets implanted as a really bad image in your head.

    But the point is your troll probably doesn’t know that because he stays in a bunglow with nice smelling Indian blokes whom he pays to rape his ass everyday.

  24. Jason says:

    Dear Michael,

    To return the favour to you, I will dissect your comment as well.

    “What a great way to apply your mathematical skills, moron. If you are 25 years old, with the mentality of a 5 year old and grammatical prowess of a 3 year old, you’re still 25. (hmmppffhhh)”

    You obviously seem to lack a proper understanding of this concept. Perhaps that is why you are retarded. Oh well, it looks like you are not just a 5 year old in terms of behaviour but also in terms of thinking and analytical capabilities.

    “You don’t get it do you? It doesn’t matter if you stay-over at the spastic center or come back home at night, technically, YOU’RE STILL A RETARD! I guess that explains your lack of common sense in your previous retorts.”

    Well my dear Michael, since we have concluded that you are mentally a 5 year old, let me explain to you that not everyone at the spastic centre is really spastic. Just like how not everyone at a hospital is sick. You see, the doctors are not sick right? Well at least not ALL of them. The same applies here. There can’t be a spastic centre run by spastic people, or is there one that you came from and are not telling anyone about? Kindly enlighten us.

    “Big words to YOU perhaps. Those are very common words used by regular secondary students. I’m sorry if you have to inconveniently look up the dictionary just to understand my comment. (but I’m not surprised though, as I don’t expect you to be intelligent at all…)”

    Michael, what is the point of using so many big words when your grammar is so bad? I am sincerely concerned about this. I personally don’t know whether or not you look through your mother’s or father’s dictionary before using these words, or whether you really know what they mean, but the fact that your command of grammar is atrocious does lead people to conclude that you used a dictionary. You see, grammar is part of the basics of the English language, and until you master that, you should not move on to the next step. Please don’t force me to pick out the thousands of grammatical errors in your posts.

    “Oh so you’re what, an elitist now? You live in a ‘much more luxurious lifestyle’ than me… big fucking deal dude. Yeah, I do live in a FLAT… that costs a quarter million with designer furnitures. Like, what do illiterates like me know about hygiene… humbug!”

    A quarter of a million? Why don’t you just say 250k. Why must you use the word million? That is like saying my mineral water costs 1 millionth of a million, just to make it sound expensive. It is only 250k my friend. My car costs more than your house. There is no need to boast about having designer furniture. And by the way, Syarikat Perabot Ah Kow is not a designer. In relation to hygiene, since you brought it up again, I am quite curious to know as to whether your people have evolved to keep up with the invention of bidets and started washing instead of wiping. I also picture you in my head having a long pinkie fingernail. Please correct me if I am wrong.

    “I thought I only offered the help? Did I ‘try to tell you what shampoo to use’? Do you have comprehension problems, o’ english master?”

    Allow me to quote you “And oh, if you ever need any recommendation for a good shampoo, feel free to consult me ya?”. To recommend a shampoo. I wonder what that means. You definitely have another problem, other than being mentally retarded of course. I think you are either very forgetful or maybe slightly blind. Maybe we should meet so I can pinpoint the problem for you.

    “No thanks. I know you’re feeling very proud about the fact that you’re ‘many many levels above me’… in terms of retardity. (check my replies above to recap)”

    It is nothing to be proud of being many levels above an idiot, and therefore you are mistaken. I don’t know where you picked up that “in terms of retardity” thing from. Nothing you have said points to that. Please don’t make vague statements referring to non-existent matters.

    I may be pouring those ‘Pantene or Rejoice crap’ on my head…. but at least I don’t smell like STALE COCONUT OIL! (btw, I use Dove. Sorry.)

    Michael, what makes you think I use coconut oil? I just think that you are exremely rude and have to be told that what you say is not right.

    “I rest my case, Jason. If you want to flame my blog up, try something more intelligent. It makes my blog look really bad when you’re commenting like someone who thinks with his appendix.”

    Dear Michael, the only reason your blog looks bad is because it is YOUR blog and YOU are being made to look stupid.

  25. michaelooi says:

    Jason,
    Oh boo hoo – I’m rude. What a joke you are.

    So you’ve covered 5 year old, 3 year old, racist, blindness (and sooner, all my five senses) and now a RETARD. That’s pathetic. Can’t you get anymore creative than that? So much for a guy who claims to lead a ‘luxurious lifestyle’ and drives an ‘expensive car’. (oops, my mistake, you’re not actually boasting there. What a hypocrite).

    Not to mention low – for the lack of substance in your argument. You can only go as far as pointing out my atrocious grammar… and heaps of repetitive and irrelevant remarks.

    Maybe people like you should go back to be a rubber tapper… and be a food source to our Malayan tigers. I’m sure a lot of people would rather have more tigers in their forest than to have shitbags like you roaming around in our society. (oooooh i drive an expensive car and you’re rude boo hooo – there goes for my atrocious grammar again)

  26. NicEviL says:

    Naturally I would sit back and enjoy how Michael slaughters the various idiots he encounters. Like the most of us. Great job. You da man !

    But allow me to interrupt here.

    Fucking Jason,

    Why the fuck do you care so much about proper grammar ? Stop complaining and arguing.
    Stop pussying yourself.

    Only pussies pick a fight online.

    Oh.

    If the only thing going inside your mind is that “pussying” isn’t even a word and I didn’t address you as “dear Jason”, I’m so sorry for you.

    What happened to the flexible open minded part of your brain ?

    Don’t bother replying. I won’t be reading.
    There’s a limit of how much idiocy I can laugh at.

    :D

  27. Beth says:

    Been lurking around your blog for months, this is my first time commenting.

    Jason – You are so full of shit dude. Your grammar isn’t all that good either. You should look at yourself before pointing at others. Mike was right about you being a retard and hypocrite.

  28. sb says:

    According to official figures, Indians make up less than 10% of the total population in Malaysia. But their population in jail is more than 50%.

    Please go back to where you belong, Jason you stinking piece of shit.

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