November 5, 2006

my neighbor had a nasty fight

My neighbor had a nasty fight with her husband a couple nights ago. No I didn’t actually see it, but they were loud enough for everyone in the apartment block to have a clear inkling of what was going on. It was a classic husband and wife brawl, that ended up with plenty of broken furniture, traumatized kids and a whole market load of shapeshifter gossips.

From the outlook of that family of four, they seem to be a bunch of happy folks. No they don’t look like those coarse barbarians who shouldn’t have kids at all. The husband’s a fair skinned guy as if he’s without any pigmentation and always sported with a neatly trimmed hair. You know… like the kind of bloke who hangs out at churches, that would weep over a dead rat he happens to find on the street and loves tennis as much as his wife. No signs of life violence in him at all. The wife is a typical housewife who probably watches too much ‘Desperate Housewives’, and spends majority of her time inside the family car ferrying her kids around to tuition centers and piano classes. Then there are both her kids, a dick and a jane who have been schooling at the best schools in town. Like I said, a bunch of nice people. (I’ve briefly mentioned about them here – the second mention in that list.)

But on Friday night (or was it Thursday?), they shocked the living shit out of all their neighbors. It was as if hell had just broken loose inside their apartment and they were having a chainsaw party with undeads. First, it was just their kids, screaming and crying. I initially thought that maybe the little girl had just swallowed a spider or something, as the parents didn’t seem to be the kind that would get medieval with their kids. But soon, I realized I was wrong, when came the voice of the mom, yelling and threatening her kids. It was so unusually loud that it made me wonder, what had the kid done wrong. Got the pet cat pregnant? No, it had to be more serious than that… and besides, they don’t have a pet animal. The kid must had stolen the mom’s vibrator and showed it to the grandma or something of that scale… and he/she (I don’t know which one) was getting his/her ass creamed for it.

The kid’s scream then got louder by the seconds, and mom got more apeshit. There were some stomping noises, which I presume the kid must had dodged mom’s biffings by running away. Smart kid. It was all only stompings and screamings for approximately 10 seconds until suddenly, the dad joined in the orgy. Dad was yelling something to the mom, and then the mom went whimpering. Not just any whimpering but, the kind that makes you imagine that she must have had a part of her nipple amputated with a nail clipper and her pain amplified with a pinch of salt mixed with curry powder. Yeah, the dad must have done something really painful to the postal mom. It was total chaos. The whimpering was then followed by a screaming competition by both the adults, drowning the kids’ bleatings. Then furniture went crashing, pots clanking and then, the mom screamed at the top of her lungs – “I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL MYSELF!! I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL MYSELF!! HOW DARE YOU BEAT ME!!” (well, she was screaming in Cantonese and didn’t actually say ‘fuck’. I added ‘fuck’ to make it sound more dramatic).

The suicide threat continued for a few more times, followed by more scuffling and stuffs getting thrown around the house… and we listened. I guess the husband must have lent a hand to help her kill herself. Emily got real freaked out and remarked that the screaming reminded her of Linda Blair in “The Exorcist”. I went ‘wtf???, I was trying to concentrate here! hush, will ya?’ …you know, in case the wife would jump out of the apartment unit and wreck another annoying neighbor’s car downstairs (that would be so fucking cool). But I wasn’t hoping that to happen of course, I’m not that cold blooded, ok? Maybe, just let there be one or two stray pots to hit the car instead… that would be as equally awesome.

Anyway, the wife didn’t eventually kill herself. That was because after the fight ended and noise ceased, we didn’t hear any ambulance. There would have been an ambulance if she’s dead or hurt too badly. It was all silence after that. The whole episode lasted for about 20 minutes and no asshole neighbors’ cars were damaged in the process (damn!).

In case you’re wondering why I didn’t play hero to lend a helping hand to my neighbor who’s getting a piece of her husband’s karate chop, I’d have to say that, I’m not the kind of person who likes to poke my nose into my neighbor’s domestic problems… or pretend that I care for them. (hate to say this, it’s also not my obligation). They’re having a fight, which they probably needed to resolve some family issues. Besides, if she’d be needing any help, she would have shouted for “HELPPP!!” instead of “I’m gonna fucking kill myself because of you my love!”. See my point?

And in case you’re also wondering where I stand on the topic of domestic violence – I’m totally against it. Although certain shapeshifters do deserve to get their jaws dislocated and having their nipples ripped off by a nail clipper (like those that I mentioned here and here), I’m totally against the idea of beating up the weaker gender (weaker gender as in, the females. Not transvetites or effeminate males). In my arrogant opinion, the moment a guy hurts a female physically, he’d be instantly downgraded all the way down to the lowest social standard.

Just leave the fucking bitch and look for a better life, if it’s so distressing for you.

michaelooi  | happenings  | 

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