October 20, 2006

mind your own business

I was trapped inside a traffic jam for almost 2 hours on the way home from work on Thursday. I had to use the word ‘trapped’ because there’s nothing I could do about it… like taking a detour or something. That’s because it is the only way home for me – the Penang Bridge. The Penang fucking Bridge. What’s worst of all, my bladder’s at the verge of exploding, having forgotten to drain it before the trip. It was tormenting.

So what happened that day? A ‘4-car-pile-up’ at the middle span of the bridge. Apparently, some asshole lost control of his/her vehicle and got smoked up pretty bad. The whole thing wasn’t supposed to be that wretched, since the wrecks had been moved to the emergency lane much earlier on to make way for the traffic, but thanks to our ever nosy Malaysian drivers, almost every fucking one of them who drove past the wreckage had to slow down to a halt to quench their curiosity… and that’s how we got ourselves to a standstill traffic situation.

I happened to ‘meet’ one of those nosy dimwits in front of me when I was driving past the wreck. It was a heavily modified car, inside it was a pack of young Indian blokes. And they actually slowed down enough to make a cow look fast, just to gawk at the wreckage. I could see them making a lot of gestured commentaries inside their car… probably commenting on the resemblance of their faces to the mangled vehicles. Feeling frustrated and desperate (my bloated bladder, remember?), I gave them a few short burst of honks, you know, to urge them to move on already. The driver swerved his vehicle to the side and petulantly waved for me to get past his car. I didn’t hesitate, of course. Our eyes met when I did the overtaking, and spotted him giving me this scornful look as if I have stolen his grandma’s muruku. That was when I decided to clear the misunderstanding by flipping him a bird. I hope his pet dog dies before Deepavali.

So, as you can see, it’s all about our attitude, people. By slowing down to gawk at an accident, you’re creating a ripple in the traffic, which affects everything else that are connected to it. Important schedules had to be postphoned. Gallons of gasoline wasted. Thousands of prostates affected (eg. mine). Fuckloads of carbon monoxide emitted. And worst of all, you’re probably contributing to the unnecessary congestion that might impede the arrival of the ambulance to save some lives (of that accident). It’s bad enough to have an accident slowing down the traffic, don’t make it any worse by slowing it down even more.

Just mind your own business, and move the fuck on. (my lizard was drained exactly 2 hours later, and it took me over 1 minute to completely stop its gushing rampage)

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