October 12, 2006

homicidal

You know what could be more annoying than someone trying to fake an English (or American) accent? Adding an ‘errrrrrr’ in the middle of his speech. You know, with emphasis on the long R at the end of the expression by fluttering the tip of the tongue against the palate. Elliot the idiot does that all the time.

It was as if inserting that ‘errrrrr’ expression would make one believe that he’s supposed to have some Western accent or something… FUCKKKK!!!!

He was recently hired to replace Rod’s place (I know… of all people… it had to be him…), and that was why he moved to the desk behind mine. And every goddamned awakening minute, I had to contend with his ‘errrr’ expression like it was part of his speech impediment (that’s because he’s always on the fucking phone for some weird reasons).

I so fucking feel liek grabbing the nearest pot of cactus (which I can spot one on Jude’s desk next to mine right now…) and shove it down Elliot the idiot’s throat and repeatedly pummel the hump down his neck to maximize the side effects… while yelling “Errr somemore… errr somemore! You motherfucking cheebye piece of worthless clinical waste!”. After that, I’m gonna gouge his eyeballs out, and crush them by repeatedly stomping them under my feet. Once he’s down and immobile, I’m gonna fucking stab him dead with my coffee spoon, and spit at his corpse. Then I will drag him by the hook into the toilet and drain his blood dry… before mutilating him into a thousand pieces and feed it to a mob of stray iguanas at the contaminated creek behind Company X.

I feel better now…

michaelooi  | rantings  | 

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