I used to have a boss in my previous company whom I commonly addresses as Mr.Tan. He is a Singaporean. Doesn’t look like one though. He looked more like a parking attendant to me. Flip flops, gap T-shirt and knee length pants. Was without that Singaporean attitude too, you know, being a conceited bigot and all that. A very friendly guy and as likeable as a plate of chicken rice (alright, that was a bad example. I’m feeling kinda woozy today due to sleep deprivation, so, cut me some slack here…)
One day, while both of us were working on something, Mr.Tan suddenly sighed out loud and asked me this
“Michael, do you know why modern Singaporean girls have big tits?”
I was quite surprised as to why my boss would ask me such a question. Like, what has Singaporean girls with big tits got to do with our work? Fearing that it might be one of those personality assessment trick to evaluate my work performance, I gave him a half witted reply, just to keep myself safe…
“Errmmm… I don’t know… maybe they’re being kneaded too much by dirty Singaporean guys?”
He gave out a friendly laugh and said
“No Michael. That’s because the previous generation fed them too well. Previous generation, people like me. We worked hard to earn all the money, and showered them with a good life. Coddled, spoilt and pampered. All the goodies we worked hard for, are all grown into big tits. In the old days, girls don’t have tits that big. That’s because life used to be hard.”
(he’s using ‘big tits’ as a metaphor, he doesn’t sound as sick as I might have portrayed in my blog here…)
“Well, Mr.Tan, you should see it as a good thing that your children are leading a good life because of you… At least they don’t have to come out to suffer and work… like me.”
That sentence was an all out effort to etch both sympathy and impression in my boss’ mind. Yeah, you people should have noticed that I was already quite a smart guy at 19 (to be able to come up with such a beautiful shit at a relatively short time like this..).
“Hehh, yeah. But I feel that they’re too spoilt with all the attentions and good life. Just look at their clothes for example. They’re all expensive and branded. Me? I got mine at those cheap sale at pasar malam!”
And he continued to lament about how modern young Singaporeans squander their parents’ hard earned money wantonly on unncessary items. And I listened. At the same time, also wondered, if the paradox was any true - that our children tend to become a better parent than us - which might have explained Mr.Tan’s distress. A generation spoiling the next.
Today, I had a disturbing sense of deja vu, when I look into Regine’s eyes and saw the reflection of that zealous parent who fervently made funny faces just to trade for a hint of smile off his daughter’s lushy lips. It suddenly occurred to me that, hey, I’m actually doing a small scale coddling here. I’m like, consciously hypnotized to do it. I was telepathically being influenced to do things in favor of my baby. I’d entertain her when she wanted it. I’d pay a lot of money for her. Hell, I’d even lose sleep for her (and that’s a big thing…).
If this goes unregulated, I might be washing my daughter’s car in the near future, and still feels alright about it! o_O”
And I ain’t sure if this is right. Why do we still do it knowing that the course would be brutal and unfair? Suddenly it made so much sense to me why the salmons killed themselves after laying their eggs…
But I’d still do it. Senseless acts of love. I’ll probably try to explain why when I can figure it out.
(Mr.Tan went back to Singapore after he got hit by a drunken Indian guy on a motorcycle while walking to a nearby food joint & I never saw him ever since. I left his company one year later to join Company X)