August 8, 2006

babies are weird people

I was reading some mails on my PC when all of a sudden, Regine wailed out loud inside mom’s room. Earlier, mom had brought her into the room for some tummy massage (to rid of her intestinal gas). It was all going well until she started to wail unprovoked. I stormed into the room

“Mom what happened??”
“I don’t know, she just set off like that.”
“UWAAAARGHH!!!!!!!! UWAAAAARGGHH!!!!”

She never wailed like this before. It sounded very unusual. It was as if she has just witnessed her beloved pet dog explode or something like that. It really got the whole house in the state of pandemonium there. I came up with the idea that she might have been bitten by one of those nasty bugs, and so the three of us (Emily, mom and myself) frisked all over Regine’s corrugated layers of baby fat to spot for a bite rash or just anything that might hurt her.

Nothing.

Her wailing went louder. We were getting edgy by the seconds as none of us could figure out what was wrong with her. We tried everything – pacifier, lulling, cuddling, they all didn’t work. Just then, my mom took her out from the room and went for a walk, only then… she started to calm down.

I was like “What the fuck? What was wrong with mom’s room?”. I tried to check around for anything that might have provoked the baby, you know, maybe a very odd looking old people bra that might have irked her or something… but there wasn’t any. There’s nothing wrong with mom’s room except that stupid fengshui crystal. So, what provoked Regine that night? Could it be something that’s paranormal (after all, it’s the hungry ghost festival month…)? Perhaps my Regine saw something that we didn’t?

Spooky.

It was all forgotten until the next day when she was brought into mom’s room again for more tummy massage (oh yeah). Guess what? She wailed again. I wasn’t there because I was at work. But Emily told me it was the same kind of wail like the night before. Knowing that it had got to be something in the goddamn room that was upsetting the baby, Emily brought her out of it and mom combed through her room to investigate, what exactly was the problem. And finally, she found it.

It was the hairdryer.

Strange, but true. You see, part of the traditional baby tummy massage procedure was to rub oil (somekind of lemon grass oil I think) with both your palms until it is warm, then you tenderly apply it on the baby’s tummy. But my mom, being an inherent smart lazy fart, found an easier way out of this – to use the hairdryer to warm up the oil on her palms instead of laboriously rubbing it. It was all good until that tumultuous Sunday night, when out of the blues, my Regine suddenly developed a fear of hairdryers. The big bad evil fucking hairdryer.

She should feel grateful that she wasn’t born in the 70’s. Coz if she did, she could have been an outcast in her teenage life in the 80’s… back when hairdryers used to be the ‘in’ thing… That lucky little shit.

Babies are weird people.

Btw, anyone of you know of the phobia word used to describe the ‘fear of hairdryers’?

michaelooi  | 3-of-us  | 

21 Comments to “babies are weird people”

  1. Sasha says:

    I understand how U feel Mike.It’s not Kan Cheong or something. It’s just a Fatherly/Motherly thing. Anyway, try to avoid using hairdryer or vacuum cleaner near yr baby cos they have very soft ear drums.
    I used a few method to get rid of Jayden’s big tummy (filled with wind)
    1. Give him Gripe Water
    2. Use Yu Yee Oil to rub his tummy after every bath (i think we’re using same oil)
    3. Change his bottle to “BFree” bottle. The Bottle really helps alot.

  2. Din says:

    takut pengering

  3. KY says:

    you know they actually use hairdryer bowling into a steel pot to make the engine sound of racing pods in starwars?

    not sure what’s the phobia word for fear of hair dryer, but the fear of long words is hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia. hehe

  4. titoki says:

    Waaaa nowadays a little little thing already so kan-cheong. I start to feel pity towards Regine’s future bf already. LOL.

  5. ibm says:

    why did u call ur own baby a “little shit”?

  6. inevitable says:

    At last, you re’open’ the comment section. Wanted to comment on your previous water post…

    Anyway the closest I can find on fear of hairdryer is, Soceraphobia – Fear of parents-in-law… Oh, my mistake, that’s your phobia. ;)

  7. michaelooi says:

    din – Wow, saintifik nya nama tu…

    KY – So I take it that my Regine will grow up to become an anti-Star Wars fan as well, now that there are hairdryers involved…

    titoki – Heh wait till you have your own children… we’ll see what happens.

    ibm – Because I feel like doing it. You want to blow? (with a hairdryer, that is)

    inevitable – Me? Fear of parents-in-law? Heheh, if only you know the truth…

  8. Silencers says:

    I tried looking for the greek word for hairdryer [since phobia is greek for the word fear], but the online dictionaries returned no results. The greeks must’ve never adopted the hairdryer into their civilisation :p

  9. erizabesu says:

    if it’s phobia to loud noises (which most babies and young kids does), it’s call “Ligyrophobia”

    check it out here http://phobialist.com/reverse.html

  10. Sasha says:

    I also have a set of those. But not good enuff. later U come to my blog. I show U why i use that bottle. :)

  11. Sasha says:

    Hehehe BFree from Avent. Anti Colic Teat from Avent got la. U come now and see la!

  12. michaelooi says:

    sasha –
    1) Gripe water – already done.
    2) Yes it’s that kind of oil. I’m not sure which oil specifically but, it has been the same type of oil since I myself was a baby (mom’s department)
    3) We have a set of those imported bottles – Avent. I guess it’s good enough kua.
    I think she just don’t like the sound of it, but you’re right, they’re sensitive to loud noises…

    silencers – That tells us a lot about their supreme sense of fashion eh? (I don’t use hairdryer either. Reason: Old skool)

    erizabesu – It’s not really about loud noises, though generally, babies are kinda sensitive to loud noises. But for Regine, it’s specifically hairdryer. She hated it like it’s going to filch her milk away from her… Strange…

  13. michaelooi says:

    sasha – Her royal highness Emily just messaged me, it appears that Regine has all along been using a bfree teat from Avent, whatever that is.

    (the only teat I know and fancy about, is organic.. and is for licking and pure personal gratification, sorry. This is way too technical for me)

  14. ibm says:

    “the only teat I know and fancy about, is organic.. and is for licking and pure personal gratification…”

    Can show us what the teat looks like uncle mikey?

  15. Shar says:

    I think Regine and I have the same faer. I never blow dry my hair unless the bloody dude who cuts my hair uses it. Frigging hot and noisy. I dun understand why women LOVE em

  16. The Snark says:

    Dude, the comments were disabled for the post above, and I resorted to using this.

    The person wasn’t wrong when they said a radiator emits radiation. Because heat is a form of radiation, in the infra-red wavelength. I thought you would have known that. :P

  17. michaelooi says:

    ibm – If you’re a female, just look 90 degrees downwards. That dark patch of protruding mole hill, is the one I’m referring to. If you’re a bloke, you should know what I’m talking about. ;)

    shar – The problem for Regine is, she doesn’t have much hair to begin the fear with… it’s just purely, incidental…

    The Snark – Ahhhh playing with semantics eh dude? You got me there. (but you and I know, the radiation we’re talkin about was the one that fried the Japs like rotiserie chicken back in ’45)

  18. michaelooi says:

    Ok, so Bfree is a brand of teat and the whole caboodle of baby feeding apparatus. Cool. I’ll ask one of the girls to check it out. Thanks a lot, Sasha.

    (Regine, if you’re reading this from the near future, take special note… Daddy is gonna friggin bill you for all these…)

    Speaking about this …whole… infant science… thing, I can’t help but wonder… how did those pre-modernism people do it. I don’t remember my mom telling me about what colic or any imported special teat or stuffs like that. It’s just those 20 cents cheap ass rubber teat that she got off from the grocery store for me, and I sucked it happily away. Maybe I was a more gullible baby I’m not quite fucking sure.

    But what I’m sure, is that feeding bottles are getting more advanced and fancier each day… No shit in the near future, they’re gonna come with their own build-in microprocessor operated temperature/pH control, with its own nanotech purifier. Just pour in water, insert milk tablet, you get warm milk readily available to feed the baby… or something like that.

  19. Hijackqueen says:

    Wah, she’s a smart baby leh.

  20. Ayo… like that you also want to kira with Regine… poor little baby girl…

    you should nurture love and understanding with your baby…

  21. michaelooi says:

    Well, I guess I ain’t a good daddy then.

    “Now behave, little girl… else I’m gonna place an economic sanction on your candy fund…”

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