August 2, 2006

the animal gang

I’m sure most of you people must have at least one of those freak colleagues at your workplace, who seems to be too dumb to even pull the simplest of a job and yet, is indifferent to advices and instructions. Usually lives in the world of his own, not very bright and laughs at his own stupid jokes.
I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.

Well, I have 5 of those bum colleagues, all coexisting in the same department as I am. Believe it man.

And because all 5 of them share the same level of retardation, they kinda compatibly mingle well together, forming a fraternal group whom we dubbed as ‘The Animal Gang’. There’s a specific type of animal that each of them suppose to represent, but I don’t quite remember who’s who – coz they all looked the fucking same to me – like retards. (The combined IQ of these 5 retards, is equal to the amount of intelligence it takes for me to pick up a pencil – that’s how ‘inadequate’ they are)

You can read more about the 5 schmucks of ‘The Animal Gang’ over at the following posts.

Elliot
‘chi seen’ – posted on 2004.10.09
‘freak’ – posted on 2005.06.01
‘fish n chips’ – posted on 2005.06.17
‘Elliot the idiot’ – posted on 2006.01.24

Milkboy
‘what’s that?’ – posted on 2005.05.12
‘the mysterious probe number 4′ – posted on 2006.03.17

Rod
‘random shits’ – posted on 2004.10.11
‘what is kiwi?’ – posted on 2005.01.15

John
‘spot the hot’ – posted on 2006.01.17
‘my lab technician is paralyzed from the neck up’ – posted on 2006.07.20

Mojo Jojo
(*named after the villain mad scientist ape of that Powerpuff Girls cartoon show). I haven’t really blogged about this guy before. He was just briefly mentioned as the ‘junior engineer’ who didn’t know how to describe ‘dual core’ in this entry – here. He’s one of our new hire who is suppose to be educated and shits. But he’s not. Hell, he doesn’t even speak English. Most of the time, he’d murmur inside meetings, where he’d piss approximately half the room out (where the remaining half will be sleeping). So far, he hasn’t had any conflict with me… but he has been very annoying by asking a lot of asinine questions.

“Mike, should I use a phone or computer to contact the vendor?”

Just an example or something like that…
*****

The Animal Gang… I don’t know if it’s just pure bad luck for us to have an excess of these people around our department, or were they deliberately hired to make us abled individuals look like a real genius. But whatever that my boss has been working on, is definitely not looking good. The existence of this group has been more like a bane for our existence. They diminishes the quality of our working experience. They bring about pestilence wherever they go, and they fuck up whatever chores that they happen to lay their hands upon. They’re like, a diarrhea to the system. An cancer to the body. A giant piece of sanitary napkin that clogs the pipes of civilization. A genocide of intelligence.

People, if you see me getting hypnotized and turned myself into one of the ‘The Animal Gang’ members someday spreading havoc across the office, please do me a favor – dispatch me off from the surface of this planet. I won’t be me no more. It’s better that I die than being one of them.

michaelooi  | characters  | 

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