July 24, 2006

bitter memories : goading for troubles

Being a child must be the darkest period of PukeMachine’s life. Or at least one of the darkest, for he wasn’t born a very bright person. At least not bright enough to keep himself out of unnecessary troubles. That explains why during the course of our childhood, I had seen him hurt himself pretty bad many times over. Far too many times to be just average. Far too many times to be just stupid. He’s one of a kind.

That reminds me of an incident happened during our first secondary year, our first day of wearing the green pants of adolescence. We still hung out together back then, and witnessed a lot of newcomers came drafting in from alien schools that day. We weren’t very thrilled about it of course, being the old boys there and all that. There was a feel of being smug about our identity and we didn’t feel like being too friendly with them.

I remember I almost beat up a new guy during assembly that day, for accidentally knocking me on my shoulder. It was a fair porcine guy with a fair complexion, and I nearly creamed his ass had not there been a someone to break the fight then. He wasn’t very big or look too nasty, so, he was an easy target for me. I was a smart kid. I knew who’s vulnerable for some beatings and who not to mess with. I pick my target well. (That guy would later become one of my best buddies.)

Just as there were a lot of bleating little victims asking to be beaten up, there were also plenty of badass rednecks whom I chose to keep my distance from. Amongst the meanest and most savage of them was this redneck guy who went by the name Beng Hee. His hair was always disheveled, and he didn’t tuck in his shirt. His beady eyes were like that of a shark’s and he had a very thick neck like Wayne Rooney. From the first look at him, one could tell that he’s not a person that’s worth messing up with.

But not PukeMachine. On that first day of secondary one, Beng Hee caught PukeMachine staring at him inside the class. That was when he threatened PukeMachine with an intimidating hand sign – that he’s going to kill him or something. But PukeMachine didn’t get it. Instead, he flipped Beng Hee a bird (inside the class) and got himself registered into Beng Hee’s ‘to be beaten up’ list. That explains why we were being chased by Beng Hee after school (I was being chased along because we hung out together).

After being chased for about a few good hundred meters, Beng Hee stopped because he was too exhausted. He pointed at us like he’s letting us off, and that he’s going to deal with us later when he’s fit enough. We thought that was the end of it for that day, and so I decided to walk off. Maybe to convince Beng Hee days later that I played no part in antagonizing him and his army of darkness, for I, was just a petty little bully who only makes my living beating up scrawny little Indian kids. Maybe, I can even offer PukeMachine’s head for him to let his steam off, or something like that.

I was pretty sure my plan would work… until PukeMachine did something really stupid. He walked back to face the already content Beng Hee, and FLIPPED HIM ANOTHER BIRD, and stood there laughing maniacally like he’s been possessed by the god of stupidity.


Beng Hee went ballistic and summoned more of his strength to give us another chase. I could tell from the look of his mad face that he’s in a homicidal rage, and it wouldn’t be wise to stay around waiting to get myself killed. And so we ran from him for another few hundred meters. By then, I was already damn exhausted and used up all my energy to run any further. So, I did what any smart kid would do – hide. Inside an unlocked factory bus. You see, Beng Hee only wanted PukeMachine, not me. I reckoned that he would continue to chase him and I’d be safe by refuging inside this bus.

PukeMachine was left to continue running along the street without me. He only realized that I wasn’t with him after a few seconds, to which, he turned just soon enough to see me going into the unlocked bus to hide, and he followed suit. He went into that bus to hide with me.


It’ll only aggravate him further – that was what I wanted to tell PukeMachine. But he was laughing, like he was having the jolliest time of his life. I didn’t know what was wrong with him and I didn’t yell any further, lest Beng Hee might hear my shouting from outside the bus. We continued to hide inside there for approximately 10 minutes, before bolting off to board our transport home (I was with my schoolbus).

The incident was later forgotten, until I heard about the news of PukeMachine being rounded up by Beng Hee (and some of his gang? I couldn’t remember) and got pummeled for what he did that day. I, on the other hand, didn’t face any confrontation from Beng Hee after that day at all… just, shaken from that incident.

michaelooi  | escapades  | 

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