July 20, 2006

my lab technician is paralyzed from the neck up

Today, while I was productively flipping through a stack of filed documents in a ring file, I noticed that some of the documents were terribly misaligned from the rest of papers. Like this…

Now, on any normal day, this would have been ignored, since it couldn’t have hurt nobody being that way. But not today. Today, I was feeling kinda hyper. (Maybe due to the Van Buuren mixes that I’ve been listening). So, I decided to get really concerned about it, and determined to find out who was behind all these fuck ups.

And so, I scrutinized every form that was misaligned in the ring file. First document, it was John. The second document, it was John again. The subsequent misaligned documents – they were all John’s. I flagged John over.

Me : “Dude, do you even know how to file documents?”

John : “…”

Me : “Look at these” [shows him the misaligned documents inside the file]

John : “…”

Me : “This is unacceptable. Now, be honest, do you know how to properly punch holes on documents and file them nicely like the rest of us?”

John : “Errmmm… no”

He said that with a sheepish expression.

Me : “FUCK! You’re hopelessly unbelievable! Now… I do not want to sound like an anal retentive freak here, but to be frank, it is little things like this that will make you lose your job in future. Do you get what I’m saying here?”

John : “I understand…”

He understands. I’m impressed, duh.

Me : “You see this little arrow here on the puncher?”

John : “Uhmmm yeah”

Me : “Now THAT arrow, is your center indicator. Every puncher has it. You just have to fold your documents into half, and align that folding line to the arrow… like this… and then you fucking punch it. That’s how we do it. Do you understand?”

John : “Ohhhhh ok ok”

Simply unbelievable. High school graduate who doesn’t even know how to punch proper holes to file paper documents. Now if you’re as clueless as my lab technician John here, be fucking thankful… for I have liberated your ass from getting that big envelope on your desk.

michaelooi  | characters  | 

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