Archive for June, 2006

June 2, 2006

park your ass

Her royal highness wanted to have supper, and so we were out driving around to look for something to eat last night. But much to our dismay, the traffic was unusually bad, and I got myself real flustered from an overexposure of the assholism. Not wanting to suffer from a stroke, I suggested to just settle at a not-so-desirable food joint instead – which was nearer, and with adequate parking space. Emily agreed and we headed off to that location.

Upon reaching that destination, I spotted a nice grassy patch off the busy road for parking, and conveniently shoved Lorraine into the spot, which was just a short distance away. But as we got down and walked towards that food joint, a young lad with beady eyes and grim look, appeared out of nowhere and gestured his index finger to me – showing an unmistakable “ONE”. He was asking for an RM1 parking fee.

Not feeling like paying, I lashed out at him “Parking fee? So you owned this area huh?”

He kept his silence.

I have been there countless of times, never have I encountered anyone asking for a “parking fee”. Besides, that place is a public area, and it was off the ticketing hours. And even if it was not off ticketing hours, my car wasn’t inside a parking lot.

I then pretended to rummage through my pocket, and told him off that I’ll pay him when I return later. I lied.

Like, why should I pay him 1 buck for parking my car at some public place? He doesn’t fucking own that place. He wasn’t legally consigned to collect parking fee at that area. He wasn’t even a REAL parking attendant!

That 1 buck may not mean a lot to me, or it may mean a lot to that pathetic beggar, whatever… but that’s not the point. It’s about the principles of life. To earn a part of that money, I’ve got to work like, 12 fucking hours a day for it. It’s my hard earned money. Why should I let a static nincompoop who even lacks the courtesy to smile, earn my sweat with just a gesticulation of his finger? This isn’t right.

I was fuming up pretty bad as I gave a thought about all that while taking my supper… partly fueled by the recent spate of price hike on every goddamned thing in this country (petrol, electricity and soon, water tariff). Our fucking stupid government. That parasitic bogus parking attendant. And that miniscule plate of wan thun noodles that costs RM2.50…. It totally ruined my evening.

When we went back to Lorraine after the meal, bogus parking attendant reappeared again. He just stood there looking at me like a dog expecting a treat from his master…

“I didn’t park at any lot. Why should I pay you??”

“I’m the parking attendant here…”

“So what? What have you done to deserve the money?”

“I kept an eye of your car for you”

Yeah fuck, like he’s got some Jedi force that if it wasn’t for him ‘looking over’, my car’s gonna explode from the intense cosmic radiation.

“Keep an eye over my car for me?? from what??”

“You don’t have to pay if you don’t want to” he retorted rudely.

“You’re damn right I’m not paying you”. I went back to my car and drove off. But I noticed the motherfucker glowered at me driving off from his position, probably thinking what a jerk I am.

Naaahh! Jerk your motherfucking cheebye ass lah!. At least I didn’t go around to beg.

Man, sometimes I so fucking hope that we have a human equivalent of SPCA, where we get this truck to go around scooping and lassoing up useless fucktards like Mr.Bogus Parking Attendant here. Most of them are either drug addicts or petty thieves anyway. Might as well hound them up and use them to study medicine (medical students can use them as live samples for their education instead of cutting up cadavers).


michaelooi  | rantings  | 24 Comments