June 22, 2006

the deranged side of me II

Man I so fucking hate

people who makes shitloads of comments and noises when they do something. It’s annoying. I know they deliberately do it to broadcast to the entire world that they’re doing something, as opposed to what they usually do – shirking. I have a few technicians who do that all the time. That’s why I fucking hate them. They’re scumbags who never get to become an engineer that squawk around to seek for attention. Ptuiiiiii!!!

– people who asks me to take care of my wife when she’s ill. I wonder what the fuck are they thinking. Oh are they so smarter than I am, that they think I would need them to teach me how to take care of my ill wife? Like I couldn’t figure out the whole thing by myself? Like, oh my wife’s gonna so fucking die if it’s not for their duly altruistic advice? Ridiculous! Hate themmm!!

– old women who dress up like they’re 18. Look, if you’re old, dilapidated, fugly and has enough corrugated skins to spread the area of a soccer field, would you still think that by dressing up like your teenage grandkid can reverse back all those effects, like, magically? Let me spoil your day here today – HELL FUCK NO. When you’re old, aim for respect instead. Dress like your age. YOU KNOW you’ve outlived your youthfullness. Just accept the fact and get in touch with reality. Those glitzy clothes are not meant for old wrinkly piece of dehydrated cooters like you.

– people who’s got nothing better to say. Just shut the fuck up. I don’t understand, like if they want to be friendly, they could have just smiled, or pay me some cash (or flash me their tits, if they’re a hot chick, of course). But no, they had to ask something just for the sake of asking. I won’t mind if it’s interesting, but these fucktards would ask inept stuffs like “going home to babysit your daughter?” when they see me leave the office. Think about it, if I’m suppose to babysit my daughter, why the fuck am I at the office in the first place? Shouldn’t I be at home taking care of her?? People with the intelligence of their own shits… we don’t need them.

– people that gets physical when they converse with me. Like a constant repetitive nudge on my hand/shoulder each time they get excited over something in a conversation. That’s just annoying. Here’s an example
*nudge* “Oh man, I’ve got to tell you this Michael” *nudge*
“I saw the BIGGGGESTTTT tits at the club that day *nudge* … and you know what?” *nudge*
“She’s a guy” *2 x nudge + a slap + horse laugh*
What are those nudges for? Prodding for my attention? Can’t you see that I’m already listening?? Are you stupid or something?? (even if I’m not listening to you, that would be because I’m not interested in whatever you’re talking about, and you should probably just shut the fuck up already.)

– people who enters my (our) bedroom uninvited. Yes, unless I (we) consented you to do so, you have absolutely no business inside our bedroom. It’s rude to go into somebody’s bedroom without permission. I don’t like it, my wife don’t like it either. It is our private sanctuary. We have stuffs lying around inside there that we do not want our guests to see. Such as cash, jeweleries that we’ve pilfered from our wedding, pubic hairs that we’ve shed, whatever. Just stay the fuck out. You’re NOT welcomed in there.

I’ll share more some other day…

michaelooi  | rantings  | 

12 Comments to “the deranged side of me II”

  1. titoki says:

    *nudge* “Regine is so cute, hor?” *nudge* *nudge* *winks*
    *nudge* “Mike, you are 62% evil hor?” *nudge* *nudge* *winks*
    *nudge* “Take good care of Emily k?” *nudge* *nudge* *winks*
    *nudge* “Ask your mom to stop buying stuff from WOFS, that Lilian is getting sibeh the fat liao, k?” *nudge* *nudge* *winks*

  2. JDream says:

    For the bedroom part, maybe you should keep a killer German Sheperd in there to deter unwelcome people from barging inside :P

  3. Arkane says:

    Point 1: Not only technicians do that but engineers. Your peers, your fucking irritating colleagues from other depts. WHatever mail they write to you to ask you to do work, they have to copy your boss and your boss’ bosses, as if that’s going to make you grovel and attend to their demands promptly.

    Point 2: Oh, these are the very same people who offer unsolicited advice on any occasions, weddings, funerals, your kid’s birthday, your kid’s full moon….

    Point 3: Mid life crisis mah. Men who go through this stage will splurge their money on sports cars, watches, gadgets. Women will go for clothes.

    Point 4: Oh, some people have the need to keep a running commentary on everything even though it’s boring others to death. Maybe they are related to the people from Category 2.

    Point 5: Not only they will nudge you. They will also put their arms around your shoulder or stroke your hair or something. I absolutely abhor anyone (ESPECIALLY someone of the same sex as me) touching me unless it’s a hot babe about to give me a bj.

    Point 6: Haven’t encountered anyone THAT insensitive yet, other than kids.

  4. Nicevil says:

    For most of your woes, you can’t really do anything about it.

    Except that bedroom thingy. I recommend getting a radio or a tv and play some sex noises when you two are out. Guaranteeed nobody will dare to come in.

    Or a trap. Yeah. A paintball gun in the room… the trigger will be tied with a string that is connected to the door, if the door is pushed too hard, 10 bullets flying at 200ft/sec will hit the target immediately in the eyes. Hang a sign outside “trepassers will be shot. survivors will be shot again.” so that you won’t get sued.

  5. michaelooi says:

    titoki – You’re horny is it? Go jack off with a carrot lah!

    jdream – German shepherd in my bedroom?? And risk my exposed nuts to a vicious dog when I
    a) change???
    b) fuck???
    c) sleep (hanging out of my loose shorts)???
    You must be insane.

    arkane – Your point 3: To splurge on your hobby and to make yourself look like a total disaster is totally a different thing…

    nicEvil – And how am I supposed to enter my own bedroom without getting pelted by pellets of paintballs myself? That’s very genius of you lah.
    Why can’t they just be more considerate and let me have my privacy? WHyyy whyyy!?!?!?

  6. Young auntie says:

    Newly promoted Uncle Mikey – cool off your head (top and bottom). I know how it is like – relative/friends very eager to see your princess and queenie. So, doing this period (2mth) you hv to pretend you are the friendliest creature in this universe. You will tolerate all well-wishers intrusion (kay-po-ism) and what nots. Your frustration outlet will be this black sheet white text. Patience patience patience *Hopefully it pays off*

  7. khiahsu says:

    ah yes. some aunties dress like turkeys in cling-wraps with glitter vomited all over them.

  8. michaelooi says:

    young auntie – Not that I have a choice, aunty. What can I do but to be patient? That’s why I’m letting it all out here… :)

    khiahsu – Wow…that’s insulting to the turkeys. Thou should be kind to animals, my friend…

  9. anas says:

    for people who like to nudge you when talking to you, try doing the same thing to them, like “oh really?” *poke* or *use a tazer (like the U.S cops use in the movie) to electrocute them*…see if they like it, heheh.

  10. Rin says:

    Aaah fuck man, I REALLY hate people who invade my privacy. And the worst thing is, because I’m still a minor and I’m still living with my parents, I can’t do shit about it and I have to put up with it, because it’s not MY house/room. It’s all like “it’s not yours so you’re not entitled to have complete privacy”

    At least you can say the room is legally yours and you can ask them to fuck off.

  11. Nicevil says:

    The string from the trigger will only be activated if the door is opened with a measurable ammount of force. This can be done by adjusting the length of the string.

    Just open the door safely, open it slowly, then tuck away the string from the doorknob. And you can even fix the string to the doorknob again to reactivate the trap.

    And pray that your wife doesn’t enter the room at that precise moment.

    xD

  12. michaelooi says:

    anas – I’d lovveeee to get my hand on a unit of tazer gun. But you’ll need license to own them. (but i have the capability to design one myself…heheheh)

    rin – Oops, a minor doesn’t have privacy rights. That’s because they already have the super license to ask money from their parents. Sorry.

    nicEvil – What if me and my wife suddenly goes into heat and start to storm our way into the bedroom for a quickie (knocking down furnitures in the process)… then barge into the bedroom, only to be showered by a pellets of multicolored paintballs in the process? That’ll be sooooo potong-stim….

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