mistaken identity
There, it happened again. Another case of mistaken identity. Somebody wrongly sent me another email, again.
This time, it was from a lady who also hails from Company X. A quick glance through her mail threads, I manage to make out that she’s helping her friend, Lady P (name modified to preserve her like a pickle), to contact a law firm for her legal proceedings on a purchase of an apartment unit (or something like that). And somewhere in the middle of the mail exchange, Lady P copied her father into the discussion, who goes by the name ‘Michael Ooi’ (sounds familiar, eh?).
It was all fine until that good samaritan lady accidentally replied to another ‘Michael Ooi’ in Company X corporate directory, which is yours truly the magnificent…
I replied them back of course, since daddy has only enough fatherly love for 1 baby girl at the moment. Here’s my reply to them:
—–Original Message—–
Ermm, girls, as far as I can remember,
a) I do not have a daughter that goes by the name Lady P…
b) I’m only 28 years old, and if at present my daughter’s at the age of needing a lawyer, I would have already been her father when I was still schooling - which, I totally have no recollection of.
c) I’m absolutely positive that my daughter doesn’t have an email address, yet. Well, she might be keeping a secret email account out of my knowledge, but I don’t think she’d do that to me. (that’s because I’m the one who bought her milk powder and she’d still be needing me to wipe her yellow poo out of her 14 days-old tush)
After counter verifying the facts with my wife and doctor (in case I had any known case of amnesia due to work depression), I vehemently believe that one of you girls might have copied your mail to the wrong address (my address), and mistaken me as your father (I hope I’m right about this…)
Perhaps, you may want to verify your actual dad’s email address again and copy him in case he ever gets jealous of all the attention I’m getting… (unless, if you plan to surprise me with a brand new car as father’s day gift, which I’ll have no qualms accepting it…)
Michael Ooi
Failure Analysis Engineer - [Company X]
Direct Line (office): [phone number]
Direct Line (lab) : [phone number]
Direct Fax: [fax number]
*”Mankind has always dreamed of destroying the sun” — Mr. Burns*
———-
I think the name ‘Michael’ is too a common name for a wonderful guy like me. Maybe I should change my name to a more unique one. Like those farts from China… eg. Alligator, Chimpanzee, Rolex, Viagra, Astroglide, etc.
eh, u can actually give Viagra Ooi a thought
Oh goodness, this is just so hillarious. I would want to read her reply to you… post it, can? IF she replies. ROTFLOL!!
I’ve been receiving a lot of ‘CC’ emails from a particular University recently because they thought that I’m a fellow researcher. Lanjiao betul.
Anyway, the name Evil Ooi suits you THE BEST!
*wink wink*
the quote u inserted cracked me up. ahahaha.
jess - I’ll give it ‘a thought’… literally.
primrose - here it is:
Michael,
I’m sorry!! I have wrongly cc you in my mail….sorry for the inconvenience caused :p
Lady P,
My mistake to cc my colleague instead of your father. Sorry!!
titoki - You’re a researcher.. *chuckles*… of what? Opening peanut butter jar?
vic - Hey vic, I’ve been to your blog, I think you’re cute. (no crack marks)
You should have inserted another phrase into your reply. Something along the lines of
“Perhaps we should go for DNA testing to verify that there is no paternity match between our DNA’s as a conclusion to para V”
You know, just to up the dose of sarcasm.
Anaconda Ooi?? hehehe
Another classic entry…
Err.. perhaps you should give a thought for Vittorio Ooi…cos it sounds EVIL!!
muhahahaha
Oh yeah.. i am back!
Phew… after weeks of tormenting job… finally, i have the decent time to click into your blog…
arkane - No maaa… masyarakat penyayang maa… who know she might be a hot chick. You don’t speak like that to a hot chick.
ashotiwoth - Why not? It’s unique. (hey, your name kinda sounds like it… is this a hint or something dude?)
morpheusX - How did you come up with that name? It sounded like a hot chocolate drink or something…
william - Welcome back dude.
Yeah! Your name “Michael” is indeed very common. Calling this name in the mall, at least 10 persons will say “Yes! I am!”.
It sounds “macho” or what? Lots of men like this name so much.
reading what you wrote abt company x made me rethinking my plan to rejoin.
I think it’s funny that your job title is “Failure Analysis Engineer”, since your blog’s also about failure analysis…of other people’s failures to be satisfactory human beings =D
pang sai - It sounds sexy. Usually denotes that the man’s gifted and great in bed.
azlin - Don’t rejoin. It’s getting really wretched here as of recent. (don’t ask).
megabigblur - You’re talking about my part time gynaecological research job? Well, just a small sacrifice for the good of humanity… I humbly decline to be extolled…