a tribute to cows
Why I think a cow would make a better boss… than my boss:
- The company wouldn’t have to pay a single dough for the same amount of stupidity.
- I will not lose my job if I punch a cow.
- A cow can be cute from an angle. My boss’ a cheap motherfucker that has an appeal of a toad with leprosy, in every possible angle.
- A cow produces milk and butter. My boss produces nothing but shits for everyone else unfortunate enough to clean up.
- A cow is all happy with just enough pastures. My boss is never happy with anything at all.
- My boss drives a car and plays a part of a big puzzle in polluting the environment. A cow walks.
- My boss put all sorts of dicks into his mouth to get things done. A cow is and always will be, a vegetarian.
- I can always trust a cow (they’re never interested in politics), but I can never trust my boss.
- My boss’ blind. A cow is only colour blind.
- If I ever got pissed and slaughter a cow, I’d get antioxidant-rich red meat out of it. If I slaughter my boss, I’d be a greaseball inside a jail cell.
Wouldn’t it be great if there’s indeed such thing as ‘get out of jail card’? I’m gonna so fucking use it to commit a homicide. On who, you make your guess…
related entry.
u make a really good comparison between the two, an animal and a human *winks*
cows are colour blind? yer blog is definitely informative!
I know how you feel. The Japanese companies provide a basement where the likeness of the boss is tied in effigy at a pillar. There are also baseball bats provided. The workers can take a break and go down to the basement to whack the ‘boss’ until he is satisfied and then he ascends the steps a new man. It can be very therapeutic. Can’t blame them, they have to bow and smile to the boss while being given shit.
Didn’t your fucked up boss leave your company? Or is this a new dude?
Just get a bull to fuck the cow and everything else will fall into place.
Of course it may seem like a good idea to replace your boss with a cow but you are forgetting that having a cow for a boss does have one downside … Exploding cows.
Cows produce 280 litres of methane rich flatulence every day … if the cow is locked up in your boss’es office eventually the room will be filled up with methane. At the first hint of a spark of any kind .. the room (+ cow) will explode.
Of course , this would be a good way to kill your boss. Try giving him a cow for his birthday. Let me know if it works. Good luck.
jess - What human?
eric - Oh! that’s called a pinata. Good idea, we tie the boss up suspended and whack the shit out of him like a fucking pinata. Brilliant. (gonna have to blindfold him though…)
. - You mean Rob? That’s a long fucking time ago dude. This is a whole new chapter…
titoki - Oh come on! We all know sex is prohibited in the workplace…
warlock - Ermmm my boss doesn’t have a room. And cow does not belong in the office. I guess it’s just good enough to leave the animal outside grazing… he won’t give a fuck about anything.
My ex boss is just like your current one. And my current boss is a bit like the cow… which is good.
Somehow a pinata is not like the real thing. It’s not the same if you know that you are punching a dummy. Unless you cast some black magic on the pinata so that you real boss will feel whatever you are doing to the pinata. Oooh, I would so like to take those baseball bats and shove it up the boss’ asshole. Now THAT would be therapeutic.
inevitable - Cows are cool animals… you’re one lucky bastard…
arkane - Crowbar, dude… crowbar. That thing is more than therapeutic.
Least you can eat the cow.