it’s all wrong
I’m sure almost all of you working class people have encountered dopes before. You know dopes? People that makes our life difficult? People that induces stroke amongst their co-workers with sheer stupidity? It is them I’m talking about.
So what the fuck are they doing here? How did they end up at my workplace, Company X? Or rather, at YOUR workplace? The hiring system. It is all wrong. All of them. Somehow, after advancing so many millenniums of civilization, we human failed to realize the fundamentals of natural selection, and ultimately, led ourselves towards mental decadence.
Now, you may be wondering what’s wrong here? Ask yourself, what do we people normally do prior hiring a person? Conduct an interview. I tell you, interviews are fucked up. Do you really think those stupid fuck interviews are really an efficient way to determine if a person’s the right candidate for any particular job? Fuck no. That’s because it’s simply impossible for one to be able to filter out a dope from merely a couple hours’ worth of conversation. To tell apart a retard, maybe… but definitely not a dope.
A dope, as stupid as he can be, will definitely try to look and sound at his best for an interview (a blatant act of deception). Logic tells me, that if you want to know the ability of a person, you don’t actually ask the person himself if he’s good. The person won’t admit that he’s a dope. He would be a retard if he does that. You don’t want a retard to work for you anyway. That’s why I said it’s all wrong. Conducting an interview for a job vacancy is defying logic. It’s like giving a child the chance to cheat in an examination. Or asking to be deceived… only to discover the hard way later that the person you interviewed is by no means who he’s supposed to be. It happens all the fucking time.
A good example would be Panda, if you can remember her… The bright straight A scorer. Good academic background. Very promising during the interview. But when she started work, only then my friend Wilson realized that she basically don’t even have the ability to tell apart a screwdriver versus a hockey stick… (alright, I may have exaggerated a bit far off…). By then, it’s already too late to do anything about it, but to painstakingly go through a tedious employee removal process… a waste of time and resources.
So why do we still use this same oldskool method to induct more dopes into our lives? I don’t know. Maybe there has been too much dopes around that they took over the entire rein of management, and are attempting to steer mankind backwards to their pre-civilized era. Like, if there’s anyone in the management who’s not a dope, they could’ve realized that already… (a dope won’t think a fellow dope’s a dope, if you get me…). Or maybe we’re all dopes and we don’t even know it… (except me of course, to be able to figure out all these…)
But whatever the reason is, it doesn’t matter now. What we can do now, is to do things the right way. Michael’s Smart people’s way. Just ditch the interview idea. Instead of interviews, we make a bunch of potential job candidates work for a period of time (without wage) and let the existing subordinates review their performances. The one with the highest performance review, gets the job. (in case you’re wondering, yes, it’s almost like the concept of that reality show… The Apprentice… though i never really watched it). And no, that’s not even a probational period… since there’s no contract signed or wages paid. If the person’s slow, or in any way, failed to perform within expectation, he/she can just be escorted out without having to worry about violating any employment contract. Awesome, isn’t it? Natural selection concept. That’s how crocodiles ruled the Nile till this day…
In the meanwhile, I think I’ll continue to mope and shirk around the office… and then hope that one day, I’ll be able to get around these dopes, take over their management posts and do all the changes I currently have in mind… (first thing to implement, sack the roti canai cook…). I’m very optimistic about it, wish me luck.
Good Luck
hmmm…i’m still a student. and i’m very very afraid of interviews!!! all i could think of is interviews are the platform for people to impress people by flattering themselves. it’s a tough task. i do hope your simple innovations will be adopted soon. possible?
But the dopes are there to contrast your mesmerizing greatness!
It would be unfair if the candidates go to work unpaid. Think about transportation, food and living costs.
Therefore the company must provide a cardboard box(for sleeping), and leftover food from cafeteria to fellow slaves….eh I meant fellow hardworking candidates.
This in effect would test their mental and physical limits as well.
Yeah. I’m a genius, I know.
asa - Thanks.
noname - Dude, or dudette, if you can’t even stand an interview, what are the chances that you may even get through the work trial? Think about it.
fei - But what is there to ‘contrast’ about when basically all the management level people are too stupid to appreciate your intelligence?
nicEvil - Good suggestion. Maybe we should administer a cattle prod as well… hmmm…
I think my PhD holder boss bought his Doctorate. Bleh! He is damn stoooooooopid!
My cousin’s applying for a job with a consulting agency in KL and they made him do some kind of economics wargame scenario. That makes so much more sense than an interview. Not enough to talk the talk, you’ve gotta walk the walk to get the job.
Ha! Ha… Working without salary is so cruel man! At least, pay them less & provide accomodation(office’s washroom). So that everyone is loyal to the job & report to the office on time.
Erm… isn’t that what they call an ‘internship’? The working without wage thingy.
interview cant determine a lot of things. but thats life
good luck.
by the way, happy father’s day!
thats why they have a thing call the probation period!!
primrose - Everyone’s boss is damn stupid. heheh
megabigblur - Yes, ‘not enough’ should be the phrase. An interview is not good enough. It has to be much more than that…
pang sai - Well, no smart employee would want to have too little wage for his job… and no employer would want to pay too much for a stupid employee. It has got to be a balance of both…
harvard - Internship are for prepubescent students. They usually suck dicks and do nothing. They’re of a different league when it comes to stupidity. Let’s not even mention about them.
michael - That’s not life. That’s doing things the wrong way and without questioning.
suanie - Thanks.
morpheusX - Read properly dude, I’ve got that covered… *shakes head in disappointment…
I think there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with interviews, rather how they are conducted. They should not let only the bosses or people from top management conduct the interview. Those bastards are so far away from reality that THEY are the ones who can’t tell a screwdriver from a hockey stick, coz they never fucking lifted a finger in their entire pathetic lives to do actual work. Therefore it’s not surprising that they tend to hire dopes, ie, people who can’t work but can suck up real well, you know, boss material. And the fucking bosses who SOOOO love to be sucked up to (coz they own subordinates hate their intestines) hire them without a second thought. So this is the fundamental wrong thing with interviews.
IMHO, interviews should be conducted by the dope’s potential colleagues / subordinates / associates / dept mates. They are the ones who know what kind of questions to ask. I think a dope will reveal himself within 3 minutes if the appropriate questions are asked.
Of course the reality concept is the best method, but it’s too costly and time consuming. Imagine holding a 13 week interview just to hire 1 fella.
Can you stand the fact to tell someone he should leave by the end? That’s hard, but that’s life..
People make me ask myself, this is a racing ground for horse, no point you try to keep the donkey. Donkey just never meant to be here, and there’s a better valley site that it can be well perform.
True, short cruelity might bring the best for everyone.
I still find it a little worrisome that your said company was able to hire said example after an interview. From the way your previous posts were, its a wonder how she was even able to carry herself initially. Who the heck does these damn interviews anyway?
Cattle prod..??? You mean the handheld device used for stimualating movement in livestock by striking them with low voltage electric shocks ???
Are you crazy….????
You need high-voltage-dangerous-kick-ass-tasers.
Immediate discipline I tell you.
arkane - That might work. But I’m a man of practical, and I’d still believe it is best to ‘demo’ the kid before you hire him.
hming - I can definitely stand it if the person I was about to remove is someone like Elliot. No qualms. Not even a wee bit. Sorry.
swallow - It’s a long story, dude. But trust me, she did carry herself pretty good at the first impression… It’s a wicked world out there.
NicEvil - Aiyah, tazers may knock them out lar. I’d have little use of them if they’re unconscious… right? It’s gonna affect the productivity…
and i thought at first this post is going to be about heroine/marijuana. LOL!
Yeah, there is such a process where people work for a slave wage until their co-workers decide they are right for the job. It’s called an internship you noob. I’ll be coming up for beer.
sooi - Don’t do drugs. Have sex. A safe one, that is.
snark - You mentioned wage. That’s not right and not part of the plan.
Aiyoh…productivity ?? I didn’t mean that you should go tazer all those hardworking trainees for fun everyday.
Just tazer one or two annoying idiots who can’t do their job and burden others with their idiotism.
The message gets sent, everybody’s working hard, and everybody’s happy. Okay, almost everybody.
Those who still work hard after being tazer-ed cattle prodded are real idiots
muahaha!