It was the day…
08.15 am – Arrives at the hospital. We’re suppose to be there 45 minutes earlier.
08.20 am – One of the nurses asks if I would like to witness my baby’s birth. I say no. She asks again – why not. I say I’m chickening out. She leaves me alone after that.
08.25 am – Emily is ushered into a ward room to prepare for the operation. I have to wait outside the ward. The corridor is damn cold. Or is it me getting nervous?
08.25 am – The doctor arrives. He comments something about us being late and him being out of schedule. He should complain this to the city council for having such a screwed up traffic – not to a nervous father-to-be who doesn’t give a fuck about everything else on the planet at that particular warp of time.
08.30 am – A senior nurse comes by and asks me, again, if I would like to witness my baby’s birth. I say no. She asks – why not. I say I’m not into that kind of shit. She tells me I won’t be able to see any of those shits as it’ll be shielded off from view. Then wouldn’t that defy the whole purpose of being inside the room? She says – to be the first to hold the baby maa. I then tell her that the first person will always be the doctor. She leaves me alone after that.
08.40 am – Emily, now draped with a piece of operating table cloth and a shower cap, is being pushed out on a trolley bed. I asks the nurse should I just wait there or somewhere else? She tells me I can tag along to send her. I tag along and it was the longest walk ever.
08.45 am – Go to the hospital cafeteria for breakfast after sending off Emily. I get so nervous, that I drop a sausage off my plate onto the floor, picks it up and eat it without washing.
09.00 am – I settle onto an uncomfortable waiting chair at the other end of a long corridor leading to the operating theater. There are a lot of upset people around that area – something about the family grandma who got mugged and assaulted, and is fighting for her life. I am at the wrong place.
09.05 am – Somebody opens an unlocked restroom door and greeted by a loud shriek from inside. Apparently, there is a teenage girl taking a poop inside the toilet… and I can see her bare tushy. (I am sitting directly opposite the door). A sign from god that my baby’s definitely gonna be a girl?
09.10 am – The atmosphere at the waiting area worsens. Family members of ailing grandma got agitated and are making random phone calls to relatives. The pressure inside my temple mounts. I begin to wonder if I should just leave the area and wait at the operating theater entrance.
09.15 am – I’ve had enough. Just as I am about to leave the waiting area, a loud cry of an infant cuts through the tension. It is the most badass loud cry I’ve ever heard in my life and the cry is crescendoing towards my direction from the operating theater. Could that be our baby? My heart rate climbs to approximately 140bps (that’s roughly about the rate of Paul Oakenfold’s fastest mix, i think)
09.15 am – I scurry towards the source of the noise and stumble into a nurse pushing a mobile cot. Inside the cot, is a delicate newborn. I ask the nurse if the baby is mine (I am nervous and being stupid). She says if my wife’s Emily, then yes. I am instantly promoted to sainthood from being a jerk.
09.15 am – I attempt to whiff the baby, nurse restrains me from doing so. I get really psyched up, punches the nurse to the floor, gives her a drop kick and ruptures her uterus. I snap back into reality when she tells me I can do the whiffing at the nursery, instead of obstructing the traffic at the corridor. I comply her request.
09.16 am – At the nursery. Nurse tells me the baby has a set of very healthy lungs and a flair of crying out loud. I acknowledge. She then shows me the baby’s nether region to confirm her gender and I take the first whiff off Regine’s head. I savor the moment for only 5 seconds or more, before the nurse takes her away from me to a warmer. (to stabilize baby’s body temperature).
09.16 am – I return to Emily’s ward and wait. Emily is schedule to come out about an hour or more later. I make use of the time to call up my mom to announce the good news. Mom achieves orgasm through the phone – the first ever by a post-menopausal shapeshifter in womankind history.
10.40 am – Emily is finally back at the ward, just awaken from her deep anesthetic slumber. She is visibly upset and keep asking if the baby’s alright. I assure her the baby’s alright and that she is in the warmer.
1 something pm – After a long perilous wait, the mother and daughter finally reunites.
My life has changed since.
Congratulations daddy Mikey and mummy Emily…Regine looks like the prettiest thing on earth! Do keep us posted on ur journey of fatherhood.
wah. i felt so kan cheong when i was reading the series of events. it’s like a whole load of drama. hehe.
a warm fuzzy feeling :) u’r a father michael. and i’m sure u’ll be a good one too. congrats again, dude. and welcome baby regina once again.
This is such a heartwarming recounts from a new father. :) So are you still nervous now?
whoa……
Very sweet of you – becoming 59% evil? :P By the way you have a beautiful baby – with a beautiful name too! Congrats!
Thank God! Congratulations to Mikey & Emily. You are so beautiful Regine… Muacks!
:) nice entry…
It was heck of an experience…
OMG. I have to fly bak to PG to see the baby. perhaps then Jase willbe convinced to make a baby wif me!
Congrats, and that’s the prettiest thing on earth. U will make a great dad.
I don’t believe you on the sausage story.
so sweet…my ‘kancheong’ness went along with the chronology.hahaha…
Do not despair. Proper intercourse will resume within a few weeks’ time. Please be patient.
Speedy recovery to Emily!
Dude, put up more pics of Regine .. she is seriously cute …
I read this and fear growing up even more.
shar – he’s probably more eager to have a kinky sex with you than to have a baby. Well, unless your baby comes with a complete set of professional lenses for his Nikon…
primrose – Up to you lor. But it’s all true.
jeez – The real thing is even more kancheong…
doc – Hahah… that’s so thoughtful of you, dude. And thanks for the advice on the other day… appreciate it.
warlock – Then this site will be seriously baby-overloaded worr…
yee hou – You fear of responsibility, not growing up. Responsibility is just part of growing up, it’s rather unwise to shun the whole thing down. You’ll be ok dude.
If you think that the doc mumbling about being out of schedule is insensitive….. my doc and anaesthetist were discussing new roads and traffic conditions to drive to work as they were cutting me up and my mind was going like “Hey you guys! Concentrate on what you are doing. Don’t leave a cotton ball or tool behind!” Anyway congrats again. You’re a changed man, less evil now, but I give you a month (till baby’s full moon) to get back to 62% evil!
Impressive post. Man, you are so good with words… and congratulation again…
I cannot stop smilling when reading this entry.
Seriously, first time read something so warm n sweet from ur blog. hahaha
So heartwarming. U must be grinning from ear to ear. I can feel ur happiness. Congrats again. :)
Wah.. mikey better than the TVB “chan cheng”
Hope Emily doesn’t get postnatal depression (I know some moms who do). It’s scary.
Emily’s next pregnancy: Mike brings a PDA to the hospital and blogs WHILE LABOUR IS IN PROGRESS. =D
a beautiful adventure with some funny excerpts. that is so you, michael :)
make this world a peaceful place for regine and our younger generations, people!
mumsgather – You’re right I’m a changed man. Less evil now. I used to murder approx. 3 million insects per week… now I can barely make the 2 million mark…
inevitable – Thankssss.
clkang – Am I that evil meh? First time konon :P
tEo – I’m grinning a complete circumference that my head fell off. I’m now typing without the upper half of my head…
morpheusX – That show is prehistoric dude. How old are you?
. – Emily is now the happiest mom on Earth. No depression at all. The only depression she’ll (we’ll) ever gonna get is when Regine’s not around…
megabigblur – Unfortunately, Regine will be our first and last child. Sorry. Maybe I can adopt lizard and blog about it…
anas – “make this world a peaceful place for regine and our younger generations, people!”
Allow me to add somemore: And it helps a lot not to act like an asshole when you’re behind wheels. Use your brain and turn signals.
That was only the comfort life in the hospital. We want to hear the horror at home, confinement and night wake!!! muahahaaa…. die liao this time.
Saying anything else wouldn’t matter since you’re just too damn happy and elated to care about anything else right now, so, congratulations Michael! I wish you the best.
hijackqueen – She has been a very good girl. No so called horrors at home. Only pleasure and warmth that she gave us…
wan – Steady dude, and thanksss!
Woah congrats dude.
But I gotta wait 18 yaers till I can date her, man thats a long time!
ST – Dude, I take it that you haven’t actually read the requirements to date my daughter yet… ahaks!
happy for you michael :)