I went to a fastfood outlet other day to collect a stack of vouchers that I ordered a few days earlier. Since it was supposed to be a quick one, I shoved my car into an empty space very near to the outlet to save some walking, and bolted off to settle the errand. I thought that it would be quick enough for me to return before anyone realizes it was even there.
But I was wrong. When I returned to my car 5 minutes later, I found this tucked under my windscreen wiper.
In case your hollow head could not figure out what that thing is, it’s a parking ticket.
There’s something scribbled in the ‘violation’ column on the ticket:
Meletak kereta diluar petak di dlm kawasan letak kereta
Translated as: ‘Car was parked out of the designated lot inside a parking area’
Initially, I was pretty much cool about the ticket – since I’ve committed a very serious offense which may jeopardize the safety of many innocent people – what’s a mere 30 ringgit compound to offset that crime? It’s a rare privilege for me, and in fact, I should be thankful for not having to be executed for that.
But I began to lose it after I read that line of slanderous description. I went from ‘reasonably cool’ to ‘absolutely mad’ in the matter of split seconds. “Nah!! Di luar petak cheebye mak hang lah!!! pukimak lu!!!”
First of all, my car was not parked in a ‘kawasan letak kereta’ (parking area). It was parked by the curb of a rather wide road, and it was a ‘no parking’ zone. Secondly, there wasn’t any petak (designated lot) either, it was a goddamn yellow line. So how the hell could I ‘park my car out of the designated lot’ if there wasn’t a single parking lot there in the first place? This is totally ridiculous.
If you totally do not get me, just imagine yourself getting pulled over for overspeeding, only to receive a compound for indecently copulating with a motorcycle exhaust pipe in public… Would that make any sense to you? As you can see, this isn’t really about the violation of parking in a ‘no parking’ zone. It’s about the principles of doing things right here. I don’t understand why can’t they just write me a ticket for illegal parking. It would have made things so much simpler…
I stood there glowering at the sheet of statutory blackmail for about a few seconds, boiled over with steam out of my ears and finally, released a loud “FUCKKKK!!!!”, as if that could somehow vaporize the thing away into thin air…
But I know, there is basically nothing much that I can do about, but to swallow it up like everything is fucking alright, and compliantly pony up the cash for the compound. Yeah right, like I’m gonna do that. Ptuiii!!!