May 4, 2006

problem solving guide II

Having a problem with your personal computer? Don’t know what to do? Worry not! Again, let me help you with your problems! I hereby, have prepared a remedy guide (in a convenient FAQ format, again) that specifically addresses the most common problems that a personal computer could ever encounter.

Case #1
Q: Each time I press the power on button on my portable computer, the LEDs on its keyboard will flash several times and then the computer shuts off… What’s happening here?? That thing’s supposed to be brand new! [squeal]
A: How unfortunate. But I reckon that it’s not as unfortunate as those poor people in Africa. They hardly get anything to wear at all… what more a portable computer to entertain themselves. Instead of getting anal over petty matters like this, you should probably count your blessings for that advantage and live with it. Or you can choose to buy another notebook computer…

Case #2
Q: When I try to move my mouse pointer to the left, it would drift off to the right. When I try to left click on something, it would just disappear. I’m getting really frustrated over this… Somebody told me that this might be a motherboard problem… how do I confirm this?
A: Just live with it. Think about those emaciated children suffering in Africa… heck they’re so starved, that they will eat a real rodent, that is… if they could ever find one. You should be feeling grateful for what you have… or you can choose to move to another mouse.

Case #3
Q: My harddisk keeps emitting these strange noises. It was as if there are a thousand microscopic carpenters working on something from inside it. Is this normal?
A: Strange or not, you should think about those unfortunate people suffering in Africa. Do they give a rat’s ass about strange noises coming out from a fucking harddisk? NO! They’re more like worried about whether they could see the dawn of the next day. Just, get used to it… or you can choose to leave your country and go somewhere quieter…

Case #4
Q: Each time I connect my computer to an electrical outlet from the wall, it would trip the whole damn building! What the fucking hell is going on here??
A: You should feel lucky that you actually have a building with electricity to trip on in the first place. Do you know that there are many unfortunate souls out there in Africa that only have the plain sky as their shelter? The only electricity they ever get is a big nasty lightning bolt from the mean ass sky, and the only time they ever get to experience a trip… is when they have their brain cooked with a few million volts of overstress. So, feel lucky already, shut the fuck up and live with it. Or you can move to another house that doesn’t trip.

Case #5
Q: My pet dog keeps complaining about pain at its left hind leg… and unusual moisture forming off on its muzzle. He said he might be having some kidney problems and terminal stage arthritis. I ain’t no vet and I don’t know what to do. I need some help here.
A: I ain’t no vet neither… you tool. You should probably spend some time to reflect the fact that there are many more unfortunate dogs in Africa with more serious and chronic problems than your stupid pet dog. Your dog is probably too lucky to have an overdose of grease laden synthetic dog food (while the African canines are starving every awakening minute) and caught those fashionable disease. You should just move out of the house and find another dog… or you can just stop whining and get used to it.

You’re most welcome.

michaelooi  | satirical shit  | 

12 Comments to “problem solving guide II”

  1. Nicevil says:

    LOL ! Good point. Problems don’t dissapear because there’s so much more unfortunate people in the world.

  2. yeef says:

    *giggle* This is so F-A-R-N-E-Y !! Wah, you bring Journey to fame meh? I oso wan!

    For the benefit of readers, please read previous post “courteous lot” and pay special attention to commenter Journey the Goody.

  3. MorpheusX says:

    Oh count the blessings….

    But then again we dont live a such a perfect place either… MPs argue half a day over whether to wear sarung to Parliment makes me boil.. Seesh..

  4. megabigblur says:

    Don’t tell me I’m the first one to notice it’s based on “journey”s comment on the last post:

    Else move out of Malaysia. Look at it from different side, in other countries like in Africa, some even don’t have enough to eat. So what can we say – count yr blessing and live with it.

    >D

  5. Mrs.Jase Lee says:

    haha, you are hilarious.

  6. nik anas says:

    haha, this one is for Journey, definitely!
    good one, big bro (tai ko, betul kan?)

  7. S1A says:

    Eh Michael, I sensed something about this post but just couldn’t figure it out.

    Nebermine lah, let me leave the country and try to figure this one out.

  8. Danielle says:

    Case #6
    Q: I can’t seem to log on to michaelooi.net at times. HELP! I’m a really big fan and I want to be able to view his posts first!
    A: Think of the people in Africa who are deprived of any books to read, much less the chance to pore over the contents of this famous blog! Count yourself lucky, even if you are the 100th person to read it! Or, you can just go and read some other blog and become a fan of that.

  9. 100 says:

    CASE #6 IS HILARIOUS!!!!!

  10. Suessy says:

    Huhu Danielle! Good add on! Lurv that!

    Oui Michael, yours is – as always – unmatched!

  11. Silencers says:

    I didn’t read the last post before this one. But after all the repetitive Africa-ness [last time it was reformat your PC, right] LOL. Well, this is the mike ooi we all know XD

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