Emily and I went to scour around for some DVDs last Saturday, and ended up inside this shop. It was a pDVD outlet manned by approximately 4 young Jay Chou wannabes. Since Emily and I were deprived of DVDs for months, we unsuspectingly went ahead to raucously flip for some titles, without noticing that the guys inside were actually operating their business on a lookout…
Well, I should have seen it happen. The door was only partially open and there was an unusual crowd of Jay Chous hanging outside the DVD shop looking left right center. My compulsion to get the DVDs somehow took over me, and I entirely overlooked the impending menace. Or perhaps, I was simply too feebled by old age to fucking notice anything at all. Anyway, I only had enough time to select a couple of titles, when one of the toads squawked “Shut the door!! Shut the door!!” to one of his colleagues and then WHAM! We had the vertical sliding metal door pulled down shut, locking us with the rest of the patrons from inside.
What a luck. (If you can remember well enough, I’ve blogged about my first dramatic experience here.)
But this time, there weren’t any housewives around for us to contend with, just a few blokes minding their own business (Emily was the only object inside the shop that was the closest to the description of a housewife). A couple geek patrons were making some commotion though, not about the fact that they’re being locked in, but were sorta like heated up from some discussion about the porn flicks displayed on the shelves there – which beckoned one of the pDVD operators to hush them up lest the raiding officers might hear them from outside and suspect of something.
For a moment there, it felt like hiding inside a closet from a deranged psychotic killer on a murderous spree. Had it been dark inside, it would have been a totally rad experience.
Anyway, I was cool about the whole thing going on right there, until it dawned on me that we might be arrested for patronizing a pirated DVD shop. Like, piracy is an offense. Stolen goods. And we all very well fucking know that buying stolen goods is a felony. The thoughts started to get really disturbing and I went over to ask one of the Jay Chous
“So, the whole place’s like, being raided or something?”
The guy, being sort of a good customer service sport, replied:
“Don’t worry. We just received some tip offs to temporary shut the place down. We’ll open the door back in no time. Just relax”
That kinda allayed my fear a bit,
“Oh cool. Thanks. Say, do you happen to have that Wallace and Gromit DVD?”
He beamed me another fake smile and replied courteously “I’m sorry man, no we don’t”
And we silently waited in there for what must be like, 10 minutes? before the same Jay Chou I spoke to, started to beckon everyone to evacuate the place as soon as possible (“but come back some other day”). Then one of them pulled open the sliding door and another one got himself ready to switch off the lights to abandon the place.
But then, just as all of us started to bail, one of the lookouts from the outside gave the safe signal to Jay Chou, which he then made another announcement, “Gentlemen, it’s alright now. You may resume selecting your movies, we’re back in business”. And the lights blinked back on.
I then paused for a moment there, contemplating if I should continue to remain there… but finally decided to just pay for the 2 DVDs I selected and get the fuck out of there. And so, I went to the counter to pay for the discs, when Jay Chou said to me
“Eh, boss… only 2 DVDs? Why don’t you get another one? 3 for 20.”
I was like, hell, ok… and bought 3 DVDs instead. I love shopping for pDVDs. Customer satisfaction guaranteed.